Building 191 rooms

WERE-GRASS:         PLANT
MACHINE SALAMANDER: MONSTER
GIBBERING LEECH: VERMIN
PALE GNOLL: HUMANOID
QUASI-SIREN: BOSS
GHOST TURTLE: CRITTER

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----}--m _ d S Z G--B ` --b--e----
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a--]--R--Q--O--C--A--J--N--X--l--
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Room A.
Cube-shaped room w/ square sliding puzzle on plinth in centre. Fetching missing piece from room and solving puzzle will completely reconfigure dungeon, reality around PCs. Roll a new dungeon, place PCs in random room.
Room B.
GUNGOSSUS the ARROGANT MERCHANT consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a DECK OF BLOOD, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by PALE GNOLLs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room .
Room C.
SOUND: Agonizingly slow waterdrip.
SMELL: Stagnant air and decay.
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room D.
One path overgrown w/ WERE-GRASS, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. WERE-GRASSs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room E.
SIGHT: Bioluminescent bacteria gleam in the walls and the dark mud of the floor.
SOUND: Crunch of footsteps on sand.
Terraced volcanic pools of bubbling, sulphurated water, getting warmer as you get closer to the bottom. MACHINE SALAMANDER drinking from second-lowest pool, temporarily pacified by calming effects of hot spring, will not attack unless provoked.
Room F.
SOUND: Slow, monotonous weeping. Sounds like it's been going for a very long time.
One exit blocked by enormous obese GIBBERING LEECH, will only move if presented with still-alive captured PALE GNOLL or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room G.
SMELL: Humans being cooked. Indistinguishable from roast pork except to trained noses.
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
GUNGESTER the SINGING GARDENER, wearing CAPE OF THE BEAR, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room H.
SIGHT: The roots of an ancient tree emerge from the roof.
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of WERE-GRASSS. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. WERE-GRASSs carnivorous, GHOST TURTLEs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room I.
Smooth, round tunnel of enormous GIBBERING LEECH, which you will find advancing towards you when you are halfway along.
Room J.
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room K.
One passage being slowly walled off by PALE GNOLLs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep QUASI-SIREN who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room L.
Panicky PALE GNOLL wearing obviously-stolen GOGGLES OF THE STARS caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round STATHEEN the INSECURE SERGEANT, conspicuously missing GOGGLES OF THE STARS, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room M.
Pit with GIBBERING LEECH lurking at bottom. V. poorly concealed. A couple of gold coins and a CHAIN OF THE GOAT in extremely poor condition gleam among the bones of a dead adventurer.
Room N.
Beam of light comes down from above. FLAMBERGE OF THE ZEPHYR embedded in monolith in room's centre. Can only be removed by hand of true king, which can be found - dried, placed in wall sconce, candle placed in curled fingers, is now magical torch that reveals ghosts - in room .
Room O.
SOUND: Hiss of steam escaping through cracks in floor.
QUASI-SIREN is having tea party w/ nervous PALE GNOLLs, kidnapped TETHWEG the WHISPERING WIZARD. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room P.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient mansion, walls are rotting wood.
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering PALE GNOLLs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room Q.
SOUND: Sound like crunching glass or gnawing teeth. Comes from within walls.
SIGHT: Walls carved w/ ancient glyphs, adorned w/ partial mosaics.
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. MACHINE SALAMANDER that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room R.
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
Dungeon oasis. Lake of pure water, grove of WERE-GRASS, GHOST TURTLEs and PALE GNOLLs drinking together in peace. If you start a fight here everyone in the dungeon will find out about it and regard you with unremitting hostility forever.
Room S.
SIGHT: Walls rough-hewn chunks of black glass, edges sharp to touch.
SMELL: Air disgustingly humid.
Lava tube. Cracks in walls, PALE GNOLLs compressed in spaces behind cracks. Not planning to ambush, terrified of you, want you to go away. One has a CANDLE OF THE ELEPHANT and no idea how to use it. Neither do you.
Room T.
Crevasse just wide enough to jump across. Darkness above. Anyone who falls in comes out of roof, keeps falling until caught. There was a huge butterfly net in room O and now you know why.
Room U.
SOUND: Whistling of underworld wind from cracks in wall.
SMELL: Meaty reek of underworld flowers, like frying fat and potpourri.
MACHINE SALAMANDER asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room V.
FENDFOPP the DEVOUT EXPLORER corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, FENDFOPP the DEVOUT EXPLORER fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room W.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room X.
SMELL: Faint caramelly smell of exotic woods.
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room Y.
Crossroads, but one exit just loops back around into the other one. Walls of loop contain shelves for entombed corpses w/ gold coins on their eyes and GIBBERING LEECH concealed in their flesh.
Room Z.
EDOTH the BLIND HUNTER looking for girl/boy/personfriend, who they think is being held captive by PALE GNOLLS. Actually came with them willingly to get away from EDOTH the BLIND HUNTER, now rethinking it, dungeon life losing sense of mystery and grandeur. Still hates EDOTH the BLIND HUNTER though. Is in room .
Room [.
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
PALE GNOLLs engaging in orgiastic rite to win favour of dungeon god. Incredibly eager for you to join in.
Room \.
SOUND: Burble of distant river.
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
QUASI-SIREN's walk-in wardrobe. One entrance through wardrobe doors, one hidden behind layers of clothing. Careful searching will reveal a EARRING OF FORTUNE, two living scarves that try to strangle you and a PALE GNOLL in fancy dress.
Room ].
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with WERE-GRASS, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged SHIELD OF LIGHTNING. PALE GNOLL cultists soon to return.
Room ^.
SIGHT: There is a mirror in this room. It's not magical or special, it's an ordinary mirror.
Bunch of PALE GNOLLs quivering in fear as you approach. MACHINE SALAMANDER followed you in, is directly behind you.
Room _.
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
Vertical shaft w/ rope hanging from ceiling, goes two-thirds of way to floor.
Room `.
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
When you look down this hallway it seems to get narrower and narrower until you reach the end, which is child-sized. When you walk down it it stays the same size but you shrink. Works very differently if there's another way around.
Room a.
SMELL: Dry and musty, like mummy wrappings and black mold.
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of PALE GNOLL in room .
Room b.
SOUND: Gloop of bubbling mud.
At least twenty doors. Most just lead into cupboards full of toxic mould, foul garderobes or empty sarcophagi. A few are unopenable, having nothing but rock behind them. MOTHUS the STUPID GLADIATOR has got themselves trapped behind one and there's a half-rotted PROPHET'S SLIPPERS in the wardrobe behind another.
Room c.
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room _, will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room d.
Formerly a wizard's study. Now a breeding pair of GHOST TURTLEs has made a nest of the spellbooks, which reveal interesting magical snippets if closely examined. Torn-up pages, gummed back together, may have produced odd new spells.
Room e.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons MACHINE SALAMANDER from another part of dungeon.
Room f.
Long flight of marble stairs painted black and white like piano keys. Stepping on wrong stairs flattens them into slide, makes climbing extremely difficult, getting down fun. Somebody in room knows secret pattern or it's hidden in mosaic on walls. Anyone who's a musician gets a bonus to working it out. You decide which side PCs start on.
Room g.
SOUND: Creepy singing, like every nursery rhyme in every horror movie ever.
MAKMAEL the RACIST KING and WOFFIANA the SINGING DOCTOR fighting for possession of a IVORY CIGAR, each with an extremely good argument for why it is rightfully theirs. Actually they stole it from the hoard of a QUASI-SIREN, who had it as a birthday present from their underworld pen pal and to whom it is of great sentimental value.
Room h.
One passage being slowly walled off by PALE GNOLLs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep QUASI-SIREN who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room i.
SMELL: Faint breeze. Hard to tell where from, seems to change directions.
QUASI-SIREN chained by leg or eye-stalk to centre of room. Half a dozen scabby PALE GNOLLs taunting and jeering it.
Room j.
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room k.
SMELL: Meaty reek of underworld flowers, like frying fat and potpourri.
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
Staircase wraps around inner wall of well. One exit high up, one at water level. Water pitch black. MACHINE SALAMANDER that lives in well usually not hungry, can be roused to surface by ringing bell at very top of shaft.
Room l.
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room T (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons MACHINE SALAMANDER from another part of dungeon.
Room m.
SMELL: Metallic tang of hour-old blood.
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room n.
Pool of stagnant water with treasure chest at bottom. Treasure chest contains bound, gagged WAXULIA the ENERGETIC COURTIER, is temporarily watertight. If released WAXULIA the ENERGETIC COURTIER will demand vengeance on PALE GNOLL in room , offer reward for assistance in this matter.
Room o.
Rallying grounds for small PALE GNOLL army. QUASI-SIREN currently giving rousing speech to assembled phalanx, promising riches/success in afterlife to soldier that brings back the the juiciest human baby.
Room p.
Looks like three-way intersection. One exit actually trap, leads to immediate dead end and floor collapse. Then PALE GNOLLs come in and start poking you w/ sticks.
Room q.
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
Bubbling lake of mildly corrosive alkaline goo must be navigated via stepping stones. GIBBERING LEECH hidden in goo, obviously. Harmless until you get any blood in the goo, then will go into feeding frenzy.
Room r.
Looks like three-doored room. Tarnished mirror in corner will, if cleaned, show secret fourth exit in reflection. If taken to any other room it will also show a secret extra exit in that room. Secret extra exit always goes to same place, no matter where you are in the world. Overuse has chance of awakening evil reflection monsters.
Room s.
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
SIGHT: Walls are murky green glass. You almost feel like you can see through to the next room.
One exit blocked by enormous obese GIBBERING LEECH, will only move if presented with still-alive captured PALE GNOLL or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room t.
SIGHT: Floor covered w/ layer of gritty sand.
SMELL: Stagnant air and decay.
Extremely steep slope. Rope required to go up, down. Your choice whether the PCs start at bottom or top. Outcropping of WERE-GRASS halfway up seems like it would provide handhold, does, but also tries to eat PCs.
Room u.
Stepping stones over slow-trickling underground river. Actually pretty easy to cross. GHOST TURTLEs drinking at edges, not aggressive unless provoked. Easy to provoke though.
Room v.
SOUND: Creepy singing, like every nursery rhyme in every horror movie ever.
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room , will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room w.
OBEROLMO the WEEPING EXPLORER consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a HAND OF THE OWL, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by PALE GNOLLs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room C.
Room x.
SIGHT: Walls made of petrified wood, as if you're in the bole of a huge ancient tree.
SOUND: Creepy singing, like every nursery rhyme in every horror movie ever.
PHOEBLEGG the OLD DRUID corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, PHOEBLEGG the OLD DRUID fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room y.
Spiral staircase. Young PALE GNOLLs sliding down bannisters. Will run away if they spot you, bring back angry parents.
Room z.
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering PALE GNOLLs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room {.
SMELL: Stagnant air and decay.
SIGHT: Cobwebs in every corner.
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with WERE-GRASS, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged HAT OF THE GODS. PALE GNOLL cultists soon to return.
Room |.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room }.
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of WERE-GRASSS. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. WERE-GRASSs carnivorous, GHOST TURTLEs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room ~.
SOUKAERYS the POLITE PEASANT, with broken leg, desperately trying to fend off a couple of GIBBERING LEECH. Is carrying JEWEL OF ORDER, which would be easier to take from their corpse.
Room .
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of PALE GNOLL in room .
Room .
SMELL: Strangely cold, like being in a meat freezer.
PALE GNOLL herdsmen squabbling over where the sweetest WERE-GRASSS are. Ones in room apparently not sweet enough. Herds of GHOST TURTLEs getting bored, hungry.
Room .
SIGHT: There is a mirror in this room. It's not magical or special, it's an ordinary mirror.
SMELL: Salty as sea-air.
QUASI-SIREN lowering itself to play dice w/ PALE GNOLL retainers. Will pretend it's condescending to let you live so long as you amuse it by joining in. Actually, not totally sure it can take you, not really in fighting mood, will throw game and say you've earned your freedom. Has TOME OF STRENGTH, might be convinced to wager it if stakes high enough.
Room .
ANGOLMO the STUPID COURTIER, wearing CLOWN'S BOOTS, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room .
QUASI-SIREN is having tea party w/ nervous PALE GNOLLs, kidnapped VOLAMBRA the RACIST ASTRONOMER. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room .
Clay nest of GIBBERING LEECH in corner. Single PALE GNOLL tasked w/ exterminating it, no idea where to begin, will lead you to hiding place of DICE OF THE SWARM in room U if you can give it a hand. Surprisingly reliable and honest.
Room .
Corridor lined on each side with mirrors so it looks like infinite PCs crawling through infinite dungeons. There is a mirror somewhere in room and next time you enter it you will see your reflections banging against the glass, claiming that they are the real PCs and you are just their reflections.
Room .
SOUND: Almost-subsonic warble of cave songbirds.
SMELL: Strangely warm, like being in a kiln.
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. MACHINE SALAMANDER that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room .
MACHINE SALAMANDER asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room .
Inverted ziggurat - steps going down to bottom of room, altar to dungeon god at lowest point. OBERLOSIA the OLD DUKE is tied to altar with PALE GNOLLs preparing to sacrifice them. Everything exactly as it seems.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
Huge cavernous room w/ tiny campfire somewhere in middle. PALE GNOLLs sitting around campfire, roasting sausages, telling filthy stories.
Room .
Hall of statues that look exactly like MACHINE SALAMANDER. One of them is hollow and filled with GIBBERING LEECH.
Room .
Panicky PALE GNOLL wearing obviously-stolen CUIRASS OF THE EVENING caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round STATHUS the ABSENT-MINDED SERGEANT, conspicuously missing CUIRASS OF THE EVENING, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room .
SIGHT: Dust on every flat surface.
Bunch of PALE GNOLLs who were just pointlessly fucking sitting there waiting for something to walk in so they could attack it.
Room .
Featureless span of corridor w/ pacing QUASI-SIREN in bleak, contemplative mood, searching for reason even to live. Not aggressive until given one - then will immediately turn on PCs. Will come up w/ one on own in half hour or so.
Room .
PALE GNOLLs in flimsy tin-pan armour, wielding long pointy sticks, riding poorly-tamed GHOST TURTLEs, practicing jousting.
Room .
SIGHT: Cobwebs in every corner.
SMELL: Strangely warm, like being in a kiln.
Old wooden chest, given wide berth by nervous, prowling PALE GNOLLs who are 100% certain it's a mimic. 20% chance this is true. Key to chest, even if it's a mimic, is clutched in the hand of the top half of a skeleton in room . Chest contains reasonable amount of gold, partially-chewed DEMON'S BREASTPLATE (operates at half efficiency until repaired), gnawed bottom half of skeleton. Possible if chest not mimic that it will follow PCs around dungeon fucking w/ them.
Room .
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
One path overgrown w/ WERE-GRASS, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. WERE-GRASSs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room .
SOUND: Burble of distant river.
GHOST TURTLE den. Where they keep their babies. Parents not pleased to see you.
Room .
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room .
Circular room. When you enter all the doors slam shut, it spins around faster and faster until you don't know which way you're facing, save or be nauseated then roll 1d4 for direction you leave in. Square hole in centre, square wooden peg hidden in room can lock it in place.
Room .
SMELL: Spilt beer accumulated over decades.
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. MACHINE SALAMANDER that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room .
Completely empty room. Or is it? Yes. Yes it is.
Room .
Single enormous WERE-GRASS growing up towards skylight in very top of room. GIBBERING LEECH nesting in roots.
Room .
SOUND: Agonizingly slow waterdrip.
PHOEBFOPP the POLITE WATCHMAN attempting to domesticate GHOST TURTLE, with limited success. Has been reliably informed that GHOST TURTLE's favourite food is WERE-GRASS, will pay semi-handsomely for samples.
Room .
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room x (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons MACHINE SALAMANDER from another part of dungeon.
Room .
Almost-frictionless surface. Works like the ice puzzles in Pokemon - once you pick a direction you're stuck with it until you hit a solid surface. Dotted with menhirs. One PALE GNOLL w/ projectile weapon at far end of room.
Room .
PALE GNOLL marketplace. Stalls selling rusted-through pots, moldy fruit, actual piles of shit. Violence prohibited in marketplace, they will not hurt you as long as you stay within the prescribed boundaries and don't break any of their weird taboos.
Room .
QUASI-SIREN dabbling in painting, composing a still life from scene of GIBBERING LEECH and bones. Having trouble getting the GIBBERING LEECH to stay still. Has left a paint canister (turbulent green) in room j, politely promises to kill you unless you go get it right now.
Room .
SMELL: Humans being cooked. Indistinguishable from roast pork except to trained noses.
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room .
QUASI-SIREN is having tea party w/ nervous PALE GNOLLs, kidnapped HYLDFEN the RACIST BARBARIAN. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room .
SOUND: Gloop of bubbling mud.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room .
Panicky PALE GNOLL wearing obviously-stolen CURSED DIADEM caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round VOLOSSUS the DEVOUT EXPLORER, conspicuously missing CURSED DIADEM, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room .
ANGATHEON the OPPORTUNISTIC PRIEST consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a OCARINA OF SUMMONING, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by PALE GNOLLs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room K.
Room .
Enormous brass lever that raises/lowers water level throughout whole dungeon. There is another, similar level in room .
Room .
Waterfall that trickles in through crack in wall, disappears in swirling vortex into crack in earth. Tricky climb, must be made to pass room. GHOST TURTLE den hidden in cave behind waterfall, half-digested SKULL OF THE MOON in stomach of sleeping GHOST TURTLE.
Room .
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering PALE GNOLLs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room .
Bemused MACHINE SALAMANDER being worshipped by bunch of prostrated PALE GNOLLs. 25% chance this is actually a clever trick to get close enough to kill it.
Room .
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of WERE-GRASSS. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. WERE-GRASSs carnivorous, GHOST TURTLEs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room .
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
Apparently empty room w/ very high ceiling. Vibrations in floor disturb the nests, cause rain of GIBBERING LEECHs. Safe to move around edges of room.
Room .
Space-distorting statue in exactly-square corner of corridor. Shaking right hand will increase number of corners until corridor is mile-long side of polygon. Shaking left hand will decrease it again.
Room .
SMELL: Zoosmell, like pressing your face to a tiger and inhaling.
One exit blocked by enormous obese GIBBERING LEECH, will only move if presented with still-alive captured PALE GNOLL or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room .
Time moves slower the closer you get to the middle of this room. SCABIA the CRUEL DOCTOR, wearing a crown, wielding RAINBOW BOOMERANG caught in stasis at exact centre. In fact crown is cursed - you can remove it pretty easily, breaking the curse and halting the effect, but in the time it takes you several years will have passed outside. SCABIA the CRUEL DOCTOR is notorious character from history.
Room .
Site of ancient battle. Hundreds of skeletons, rusted armour, shattered helms. Single, functioning LANCE OF THE LICH somewhere in mess, but searching for it likely to disturb spirits of the dead.
Room .
MACHINE SALAMANDER w/ WAND OF DISGUISE stuck in it. Extremely unhappy. Someone in room concealing serious wound, would like WAND OF DISGUISE back.
Room .
Enormous crystal-clear underground lake w/ WERE-GRASS growing around it, couple of GHOST TURTLEs peacefully drinking at edges. DIRK OF THE SWAMP lies clearly visible at very bottom of lake, which is much deeper than it looks.
Room .
HYLDROD the INCOMPETENT DUKE, suffering catastrophic memory failure, no longer sure which way they came in. Single glowing blue mushroom in centre of room does nothing if touched. Memories leeched by prolonged exposure to its light. Eating it gives you all the memories it's absorbed.
Room .
SOUND: Toads croaking.
SMELL: Spoiled-sweet, like garbage.
PHALASIUS the EMACIATED CLOWN, wearing RING OF THE PIT, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room .
GRUFOPPON the ENERGETIC BARD, pacing. Could swear there was a secret door somewhere along this otherwise featureless corridor (there isn't).
Room .
SIGHT: Fetishes of bone and feathers dangle from the ceiling.
Enormous pile of ANGEL'S CORDs, all exactly alike, dumped haphazardly in corner. Only one is real. The rest are clever fakes that have a 25% chance of working once and then break. Somewhere in room h is concealed the secret of finding the real one. Possibly in someone's brain.
Room .
Couple of sorry-looking PALE GNOLLs roasting GIBBERING LEECH over fire. In surprisingly good mood, will share. If you get sick and pass out from the feast they will definitely kill you, but otherwise harmless.
Room .
SIGHT: Dust on every flat surface.
SMELL: Strangely warm, like being in a kiln.
VIRANNY the MOROSE FOP corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, VIRANNY the MOROSE FOP fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room .
SMELL: Zoosmell, like pressing your face to a tiger and inhaling.
Thick grove of WERE-GRASS makes it impossible to see the other side of the room. MACHINE SALAMANDER lurks in ambush within. It has just fed and is currently in process of burying the bones of a GHOST TURTLE in the heavy loam of the room's floor, feeding the plants with marrow to maintain their symbiotic relationship. Still happy to kill PCs though, can always save them for later.
Room .
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
SUMPRINGO the DEAF SOLDIER, armed w/ TRIDENT OF FOG, on quest to kill a MACHINE SALAMANDER, which they are only semi-certain even lives in this dungeon.
Room .
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with WERE-GRASS, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged +2 BRACELET. PALE GNOLL cultists soon to return.
Room .
Shrine to dungeon god. Altar will curse you if you touch it unless you prepare the proper sacrifices, which consist of one ritually smothered GHOST TURTLE. If you do it will bless you. One PALE GNOLL elsewhere in dungeon is priest, knows secret to this.
Room .
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
SIGHT: Bioluminescent bacteria gleam in the walls and the dark mud of the floor.
One passage being slowly walled off by PALE GNOLLs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep QUASI-SIREN who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room .
SOUND: Chirps of cave crickets.
Two bridges across enormous bottomless pit. They do not intersect. Easy to go directly across, difficult to turn corners.
Room .
SMELL: Air painfully dry.
SOUND: Sound like crunching glass or gnawing teeth. Comes from within walls.
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room .
GHOST TURTLEs engaged in elaborate mating ritual. Single PALE GNOLL watching w/ creepy intensity.
Room .
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room d, will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room .
SOUND: Howling laughter, swiftly fades to nothing.
SMELL: Dry and musty, like mummy wrappings and black mold.
Feast hall / audience chamber of underworld king. One entrance on either side of hall. QUASI-SIREN in throne at end of hall hearing stream of PALE GNOLL petitioners.
Room .
SOUND: Crunch of footsteps on sand.
MACHINE SALAMANDER asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room .
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of PALE GNOLL in room [.
Room .
SMELL: Spilt beer accumulated over decades.
SIGHT: The roots of an ancient tree emerge from the roof.
TYROPPON the POLITE THIEF impressing PALE GNOLLs w/ magical powers of BREECHES OF SUBTLETY, attempting to convince them that it is their rightful king. Will turn them on PCs if they do not show TYROPPON the POLITE THIEF proper signs of obeisance. PALE GNOLLs just humouring TYROPPON the POLITE THIEF, will happily play along.
Room .
One path overgrown w/ WERE-GRASS, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. WERE-GRASSs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room .
Big circular room, QUASI-SIREN armed with KNIFE OF THE FOREST patrolling boundaries. QUASI-SIREN will not allow anyone to pass straight through crossroads. Doesn't mind you turning corners. Cheating by trying to turn two corners will be strictly punished.
Room .
One path overgrown w/ WERE-GRASS, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. WERE-GRASSs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room .
Couple of PALE GNOLLs around shallow pit, gambling on combat between trained GIBBERING LEECH. Intruders will be hurled into pit, but if you wait long enough the furious loser will accuse the winner of cheating and a fight will ensure.
Room .
One exit blocked by enormous obese GIBBERING LEECH, will only move if presented with still-alive captured PALE GNOLL or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room .
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of WERE-GRASSS. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. WERE-GRASSs carnivorous, GHOST TURTLEs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room .
PALE GNOLL on a banjo, playing the Humanoid Blues.
Room .
SMELL: Air painfully dry.
MACHINE SALAMANDER asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room .
High ledge w/ two entrances that looks out over vast lake of lava. One PALE GNOLL peacefully fishing w/ brass rod, wire, hook. If left alone long enough he will catch something. 50% chance of hungry lava fish, 50% chance of lava treasure.
Room .
SIGHT: Bioluminescent bacteria gleam in the walls and the dark mud of the floor.
Apparent dead end in PALE GNOLL workshop. Secret door concealed beneath anvil. PALE GNOLL blacksmith not pleased to see you, will attack with half-forged SABRE OF DISGUISE, only continue to forge it if compelled. Possibility that PCs emerge from beneath anvil.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls are murky green glass. You almost feel like you can see through to the next room.
SMELL: Spoiled-sweet, like garbage.
PALE GNOLL herdsmen squabbling over where the sweetest WERE-GRASSS are. Ones in room apparently not sweet enough. Herds of GHOST TURTLEs getting bored, hungry.
Room .
SMELL: Air painfully dry.
Site of ancient battle. Hundreds of skeletons, rusted armour, shattered helms. Single, functioning DIAMOND LONGBOW somewhere in mess, but searching for it likely to disturb spirits of the dead.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
YASHULIA the DISEASED TORTURER, playing the flute. Has no idea they're in a dungeon. Can see everything around them perfectly clearly, just refuses to believe it's a dungeon. Will confabulate other things it could be. Flute not magical unless you desperately need it to be.
Room .
Corridor from abandoned prison. Walls lined w/ jail cells, most of the bars rotted away or overgrown w/ WERE-GRASS. GHOST TURTLEs nesting in cell halfway along, loose brick behind cell wall conceals SPHERE OF SUBTLETY that only works a third of the time, is haunted by ghost of NEELATHEON the RUDE PEDDLER who will tell you how to fix it if you get vengeance on their jailer.
Room .
Salt lick. Vein of salt (somehow) in wall of cave, GHOST TURTLEs lapping at it. If you bring salt to other parts of cave the GHOST TURTLEs there will lick it out of your hands and it will be adorable.
Room .
SOUND: Agonizingly slow waterdrip.
QUASI-SIREN lowering itself to play dice w/ PALE GNOLL retainers. Will pretend it's condescending to let you live so long as you amuse it by joining in. Actually, not totally sure it can take you, not really in fighting mood, will throw game and say you've earned your freedom. Has BAG OF EVASION, might be convinced to wager it if stakes high enough.
Room .
SMELL: Spoiled-sweet, like garbage.
Iron portcullis, PALE GNOLL on other side asking substantial fee to raise it. Will slam it shut when you're directly under it to try and spike you to death. If you approach this from the other side the PALE GNOLL will also be on the other side, it can squeeze through the bars.
Room .
PALE GNOLL barracks-room, mostly empty. One fat PALE GNOLL slobberingly asleep in corner. Has OCARINA OF LEVITATION on string around neck.
Room .
SIGHT: Immense limestone stalactites hang from ceiling.
Space is bent in such a way that walking down this tunnel will bring you out in room .
Room .
SMELL: Meaty reek of underworld flowers, like frying fat and potpourri.
SOUND: Burble of distant river.
At least twenty doors. Most just lead into cupboards full of toxic mould, foul garderobes or empty sarcophagi. A few are unopenable, having nothing but rock behind them. FENDROOK the CREEPY POET has got themselves trapped behind one and there's a half-rotted THIEF'S VEST in the wardrobe behind another.
Room .
Bemused MACHINE SALAMANDER being worshipped by bunch of prostrated PALE GNOLLs. 25% chance this is actually a clever trick to get close enough to kill it.
Room .
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
SIGHT: Dust on every flat surface.
One of those Ripley's Believe It Or Not rooms where there's a row of mirrors along one wall and once you go around the corridor you can see through them. Couple of PALE GNOLLs behind mirrors making fun of PCs, will flee as they approach. If the PCs linger, GRUFFEN the LYING HIGHWAYMAN will come through on the other side of the mirrors and accidentally reveal something they would kill to keep secret.
Room .
SIGHT: Extremely high ceiling narrows to tiny skylight.
Couple of PALE GNOLLs around shallow pit, gambling on combat between trained GIBBERING LEECH. Intruders will be hurled into pit, but if you wait long enough the furious loser will accuse the winner of cheating and a fight will ensure.
Room .
SIGHT: Extremely high ceiling narrows to tiny skylight.
SMELL: Air painfully dry.
ZENUNDUS the GREEDY BARBARIAN impressing PALE GNOLLs w/ magical powers of BLESSED EARRING, attempting to convince them that it is their rightful king. Will turn them on PCs if they do not show ZENUNDUS the GREEDY BARBARIAN proper signs of obeisance. PALE GNOLLs just humouring ZENUNDUS the GREEDY BARBARIAN, will happily play along.
Room .
Couple of sorry-looking PALE GNOLLs roasting GIBBERING LEECH over fire. In surprisingly good mood, will share. If you get sick and pass out from the feast they will definitely kill you, but otherwise harmless.
Room .
SMELL: Air disgustingly humid.
SOUND: Chirps of cave crickets.
Observatory. Star charts, half-ground lenses, celestial globes, tables of astronomical data (looks like random numbers) and pulsar emissions. QUASI-SIREN mesmerized by whatever it sees through single enormous telescope. If you broke the telescope's lens you could climb out of the dungeon through it.
Room .
Actual dungeon, exists to hold prisoners. Guarded by pair of PALE GNOLLs, one sleepy, one watchful. They are siblings. Couple of human captives in pitiful condition, starving in cells. One is UDDLEY the OPPORTUNISTIC COURTESAN.
Room .
Lightless oubliette. ISHIAN the INCOMPETENT PRIEST has been trapped in here for at least twenty years, some PALE GNOLLs coming by to feed and water them occasionally.
Room .
Ledge halfway up wall of big cylindrical pit-cavern, no way in, out except via entrances to ledge. MACHINE SALAMANDER trapped at bottom of pit, bleeding from a number of minor wounds. Extremely long spiked sticks for poking it with. Couple of PALE GNOLLs indulging in this pastime.
Room .
Treasure room. Magnetic gates prevent you removing any gold or steel, even if you brought it in with you. LANCE OF THE PIT made of pure gold in hand of enormous porcelain golem. Talisman in room deactivates gates, activates golem.
Room .
Old wooden chest, given wide berth by nervous, prowling PALE GNOLLs who are 100% certain it's a mimic. 20% chance this is true. Key to chest, even if it's a mimic, is clutched in the hand of the top half of a skeleton in room . Chest contains reasonable amount of gold, partially-chewed SANDALS OF FIRE (operates at half efficiency until repaired), gnawed bottom half of skeleton. Possible if chest not mimic that it will follow PCs around dungeon fucking w/ them.
Room .
SOUND: Burble of distant river.
Narrow bridge across swiftly-rushing underground river. Anyone who falls in will be carried out of dungeon, take bashing damage from rocks. PALE GNOLL ambush party clinging to underside of bridge and/or ceiling, will attack halfway across. Some kind of perception check to spot.
Room .
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
SIGHT: Cobwebs in every corner.
Trash midden. Not planned, just naturally developed here. Infested by tiny well-concealed GIBBERING LEECH. No treasure, just bits of clothing that might have been magical once but no longer are.
Room .
PALE GNOLL games room. Mildewed cardboard boxes, rotting tomes with amusing titles like Ye Olde Playeres Handbooke. Spotty PALE GNOLLS hunched over reasonably flat rock playing Humans and Hamlets with dice made of bone and precious stones. One of the dice is actually lucky.
Room .
Map room. Globes, nautical charts, atlases, blueprints, guidebooks. QUASI-SIREN studying X-marked plan of faraway island, so enthralled that it has difficulty noticing PCs. Exquisite rug on room's floor seems like abstract pattern, careful study reveals it to be map of dungeon itself.
Room .
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room .
Apparent dead end in PALE GNOLL workshop. Secret door concealed beneath anvil. PALE GNOLL blacksmith not pleased to see you, will attack with half-forged FALCHION OF THE DEAD, only continue to forge it if compelled. Possibility that PCs emerge from beneath anvil.
Room .
SUMPWEND the EXCITABLE PAINTER, suffering catastrophic memory failure, no longer sure which way they came in. Single glowing blue mushroom in centre of room does nothing if touched. Memories leeched by prolonged exposure to its light. Eating it gives you all the memories it's absorbed.
Room .
SIGHT: Flowers bloom everywhere, even where they shouldn't. Especially where they shouldn't.
QUASI-SIREN bedchamber. Four-poster bed, priceless paintings kidnapped from world are hung on walls and artistically befouled. Fairy kept in cage as singing nightlight begs release, claims to be able to grant wishes, can't. Golden key to cage discarded in room , QUASI-SIREN concluded they will never need it. Cage highly portable, otherwise unbreakable.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
SMELL: Strangely warm, like being in a kiln.
Single enormous carnivorous WERE-GRASS that is secretly intelligent and the mastermind behind everything that happens in this dungeon.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls rough-hewn chunks of black glass, edges sharp to touch.
SOUND: Burble of distant river.
Feast hall / audience chamber of underworld king. One entrance on either side of hall. QUASI-SIREN in throne at end of hall hearing stream of PALE GNOLL petitioners.
Room .
MACHINE SALAMANDER w/ CURSED CROSSBOW stuck in it. Extremely unhappy. Someone in room concealing serious wound, would like CURSED CROSSBOW back.
Room .
SOUND: Hiss of steam escaping through cracks in floor.
Looks like three-way intersection. One exit actually trap, leads to immediate dead end and floor collapse. Then PALE GNOLLs come in and start poking you w/ sticks.
Room .
QUASI-SIREN laboratory. Weird hybrid things bubble away in glass tanks. At least one attempted crossbreed between PALE GNOLL and GHOST TURTLE. QUASI-SIREN not there. HOBBUNDUS the MUTE BARBARIAN pretends to be experimental captive, is actually willing lab assistant.
Room .
SOUND: Gloop of bubbling mud.
Bunch of PALE GNOLLs quivering in fear as you approach. MACHINE SALAMANDER followed you in, is directly behind you.
Room .
Space-distorting statue in exactly-square corner of corridor. Shaking right hand will increase number of corners until corridor is mile-long side of polygon. Shaking left hand will decrease it again.
Room .
Cornered, enraged, only semi-wounded MACHINE SALAMANDER preparing to unleash its ultimate attack on bunch of spear-wielding PALE GNOLLs who think they're doing much better than they are. If you wait you can get it before its ultimate attack recharges.
Room .
SIGHT: The roots of an ancient tree emerge from the roof.
MACHINE SALAMANDER den. Sulphuric fumes vent from somewhere deep within. Contains skeleton holding HOWLING CHAKRAM, which in addition to other powers gets +2 against MACHINE SALAMANDER. 50% chance that MACHINE SALAMANDER is out. Secret way out of dungeon, big enough for monster to fit through.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls made of petrified wood, as if you're in the bole of a huge ancient tree.
LOPPULIA the ARROGANT BARBARIAN looking for girl/boy/personfriend, who they think is being held captive by PALE GNOLLS. Actually came with them willingly to get away from LOPPULIA the ARROGANT BARBARIAN, now rethinking it, dungeon life losing sense of mystery and grandeur. Still hates LOPPULIA the ARROGANT BARBARIAN though. Is in room .
Room .
Clay nest of GIBBERING LEECH in corner. Single PALE GNOLL tasked w/ exterminating it, no idea where to begin, will lead you to hiding place of INK OF ICE in room if you can give it a hand. Surprisingly reliable and honest.
Room .
PALE GNOLL barracks-room, mostly empty. One fat PALE GNOLL slobberingly asleep in corner. Has CIGAR OF TRUTH on string around neck.
Room .
QUASI-SIREN's walk-in wardrobe. One entrance through wardrobe doors, one hidden behind layers of clothing. Careful searching will reveal a SILVER GREAVES, two living scarves that try to strangle you and a PALE GNOLL in fancy dress.
Room .
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
PALE GNOLLs engaging in orgiastic rite to win favour of dungeon god. Incredibly eager for you to join in.
Room .
SOUND: Hiss of steam escaping through cracks in floor.
Hideout for rebellious PALE GNOLLs, unwilling to recognize authority of QUASI-SIREN, want to establish tiny republic in forgotten dungeon crevice.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
SMELL: Acrid tang of goblin shit.
Single incredibly-intelligent PALE GNOLL has found only space in dungeon where it is possible to just sit and think. If left to own devices will rule own kingdom on surface world in ~10 years.
Room .
High ledge w/ two entrances that looks out over vast lake of lava. One PALE GNOLL peacefully fishing w/ brass rod, wire, hook. If left alone long enough he will catch something. 50% chance of hungry lava fish, 50% chance of lava treasure.
Room .
Enormous crystal-clear underground lake w/ WERE-GRASS growing around it, couple of GHOST TURTLEs peacefully drinking at edges. BLUDGEON OF THE DJINN lies clearly visible at very bottom of lake, which is much deeper than it looks.
Room .
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
SOUND: Chirps of cave crickets.
Bedchamber of three, four PALE GNOLLs. Sodden and filthy. Careful inspection of damp rags that serve as bedding will reveal a(n) JEWEL OF LIGHT in surprisingly good condition, but forces save against filth fever.
Room .
Salt lick. Vein of salt (somehow) in wall of cave, GHOST TURTLEs lapping at it. If you bring salt to other parts of cave the GHOST TURTLEs there will lick it out of your hands and it will be adorable.
Room .
Looks like empty room. Actually maw of cave leviathan, those weird stalagmites its teeth. Glimmer of treasure deep in gullet is pyrite lure. GHOST TURTLEs pick dead flesh from between teeth.
Room .
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
SMELL: Faint breeze. Hard to tell where from, seems to change directions.
Spiral staircase. Young PALE GNOLLs sliding down bannisters. Will run away if they spot you, bring back angry parents.
Room .
PANDFIANA the RACIST SENATOR, pacing. Could swear there was a secret door somewhere along this otherwise featureless corridor (there isn't).
Room .
SOUND: Howling laughter, swiftly fades to nothing.
Enormous mirror is scrying-portal to alternate realms. QUASI-SIREN getting stern lecture from overboss in Plane of Chaos/other, better dungeon/Hell, will shortly emerge in extremely foul mood. If there is a mirror anywhere else in the dungeon this mirror will let you look out of it.