Building 191 rooms

MOON SHRUB:    PLANT
BLIND SERPENT: MONSTER
GREY LARVAE: VERMIN
BLESSED HARPY: HUMANOID
TUFTED SERAPH: BOSS
NIGHT PANTHER: CRITTER

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Room A.
Thick grove of MOON SHRUB makes it impossible to see the other side of the room. BLIND SERPENT lurks in ambush within. It has just fed and is currently in process of burying the bones of a NIGHT PANTHER in the heavy loam of the room's floor, feeding the plants with marrow to maintain their symbiotic relationship. Still happy to kill PCs though, can always save them for later.
Room B.
SIGHT: Extremely high ceiling narrows to tiny skylight.
SOUND: Howling laughter, swiftly fades to nothing.
BLESSED HARPY barracks-room, mostly empty. One fat BLESSED HARPY slobberingly asleep in corner. Has COLD-IRON CLOCK on string around neck.
Room C.
SOUND: Toads croaking.
Pit with GREY LARVAE lurking at bottom. V. poorly concealed. A couple of gold coins and a BRACELET OF THE STARS in extremely poor condition gleam among the bones of a dead adventurer.
Room D.
Pool of stagnant water with treasure chest at bottom. Treasure chest contains bound, gagged GRUFLEGG the BLIND GARDENER, is temporarily watertight. If released GRUFLEGG the BLIND GARDENER will demand vengeance on BLESSED HARPY in room P, offer reward for assistance in this matter.
Room E.
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. BLIND SERPENT that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room F.
Salt lick. Vein of salt (somehow) in wall of cave, NIGHT PANTHERs lapping at it. If you bring salt to other parts of cave the NIGHT PANTHERs there will lick it out of your hands and it will be adorable.
Room G.
Beam of light comes down from above. TRIDENT OF THE OWL embedded in monolith in room's centre. Can only be removed by hand of true king, which can be found - dried, placed in wall sconce, candle placed in curled fingers, is now magical torch that reveals ghosts - in room .
Room H.
SMELL: Strangely cold, like being in a meat freezer.
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons BLIND SERPENT from another part of dungeon.
Room I.
SIGHT: Dust on every flat surface.
BLIND SERPENT asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room J.
SIGHT: The roots of an ancient tree emerge from the roof.
BLESSED HARPYs in flimsy tin-pan armour, wielding long pointy sticks, riding poorly-tamed NIGHT PANTHERs, practicing jousting.
Room K.
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
BLESSED HARPYs engaging in orgiastic rite to win favour of dungeon god. Incredibly eager for you to join in.
Room L.
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
SMELL: Salty as sea-air.
SYGGLOSIA the CONSIDERATE CAPTAIN corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, SYGGLOSIA the CONSIDERATE CAPTAIN fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room M.
SIGHT: Bioluminescent bacteria gleam in the walls and the dark mud of the floor.
SOUND: Howling laughter, swiftly fades to nothing.
BLIND SERPENT w/ SABRE OF CHAOS stuck in it. Extremely unhappy. Someone in room concealing serious wound, would like SABRE OF CHAOS back.
Room N.
Ledge halfway up wall of big cylindrical pit-cavern, no way in, out except via entrances to ledge. BLIND SERPENT trapped at bottom of pit, bleeding from a number of minor wounds. Extremely long spiked sticks for poking it with. Couple of BLESSED HARPYs indulging in this pastime.
Room O.
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
ANGLANTA the ARROGANT PALADIN attempting to domesticate NIGHT PANTHER, with limited success. Has been reliably informed that NIGHT PANTHER's favourite food is MOON SHRUB, will pay semi-handsomely for samples.
Room P.
SIGHT: Bioluminescent bacteria gleam in the walls and the dark mud of the floor.
Inverted ziggurat - steps going down to bottom of room, altar to dungeon god at lowest point. GRUFEEN the EVIL GARDENER is tied to altar with BLESSED HARPYs preparing to sacrifice them. Everything exactly as it seems.
Room Q.
OBERIA the OLD WITCH consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a FLUTE OF PIERCING, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by BLESSED HARPYs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room [.
Room R.
Extremely steep slope. Rope required to go up, down. Your choice whether the PCs start at bottom or top. Outcropping of MOON SHRUB halfway up seems like it would provide handhold, does, but also tries to eat PCs.
Room S.
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
Cube-shaped room w/ square sliding puzzle on plinth in centre. Fetching missing piece from room and solving puzzle will completely reconfigure dungeon, reality around PCs. Roll a new dungeon, place PCs in random room.
Room T.
SIGHT: Walls made of petrified wood, as if you're in the bole of a huge ancient tree.
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of MOON SHRUBS. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. MOON SHRUBs carnivorous, NIGHT PANTHERs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room U.
FLISCO the POLITE SHEPHERD, wearing ROBE OF THE STARS, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room V.
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering BLESSED HARPYs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room W.
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room X.
Narrow bridge across swiftly-rushing underground river. Anyone who falls in will be carried out of dungeon, take bashing damage from rocks. BLESSED HARPY ambush party clinging to underside of bridge and/or ceiling, will attack halfway across. Some kind of perception check to spot.
Room Y.
Panicky BLESSED HARPY wearing obviously-stolen PIRATE'S GLOVES caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round TETHEFFO the DOUR BANKER, conspicuously missing PIRATE'S GLOVES, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room Z.
SMELL: Strangely cold, like being in a meat freezer.
Site of ancient battle. Hundreds of skeletons, rusted armour, shattered helms. Single, functioning STILETTO OF COMMAND somewhere in mess, but searching for it likely to disturb spirits of the dead.
Room [.
Couple of BLESSED HARPYs around shallow pit, gambling on combat between trained GREY LARVAE. Intruders will be hurled into pit, but if you wait long enough the furious loser will accuse the winner of cheating and a fight will ensure.
Room \.
SOUND: Hiss of steam escaping through cracks in floor.
BLESSED HARPY marketplace. Stalls selling rusted-through pots, moldy fruit, actual piles of shit. Violence prohibited in marketplace, they will not hurt you as long as you stay within the prescribed boundaries and don't break any of their weird taboos.
Room ].
SIGHT: Cobwebs in every corner.
SMELL: Air disgustingly humid.
Single enormous MOON SHRUB growing up towards skylight in very top of room. GREY LARVAE nesting in roots.
Room ^.
SOUND: Burble of distant river.
SIGHT: Bioluminescent bacteria gleam in the walls and the dark mud of the floor.
BLESSED HARPY herdsmen squabbling over where the sweetest MOON SHRUBS are. Ones in room apparently not sweet enough. Herds of NIGHT PANTHERs getting bored, hungry.
Room _.
ZERKATHEON the CALM PIRATE impressing BLESSED HARPYs w/ magical powers of THIEF'S TUNIC, attempting to convince them that it is their rightful king. Will turn them on PCs if they do not show ZERKATHEON the CALM PIRATE proper signs of obeisance. BLESSED HARPYs just humouring ZERKATHEON the CALM PIRATE, will happily play along.
Room `.
SIGHT: Fetishes of bone and feathers dangle from the ceiling.
SMELL: Salty as sea-air.
SUMPONIA the DOUR DUKE and SOUKLOSIA the STARVING DUELIST fighting for possession of a OCARINA OF THE SANDS, each with an extremely good argument for why it is rightfully theirs. Actually they stole it from the hoard of a TUFTED SERAPH, who had it as a birthday present from their underworld pen pal and to whom it is of great sentimental value.
Room a.
SIGHT: Extremely high ceiling narrows to tiny skylight.
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
One path overgrown w/ MOON SHRUB, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. MOON SHRUBs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room b.
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room c.
TUFTED SERAPH chained by leg or eye-stalk to centre of room. Half a dozen scabby BLESSED HARPYs taunting and jeering it.
Room d.
SMELL: Strangely cold, like being in a meat freezer.
SOUND: Creepy singing, like every nursery rhyme in every horror movie ever.
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room e.
One exit blocked by enormous obese GREY LARVAE, will only move if presented with still-alive captured BLESSED HARPY or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room f.
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with MOON SHRUB, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged SLIPPERS OF THE INFERNO. BLESSED HARPY cultists soon to return.
Room g.
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
Feast hall / audience chamber of underworld king. One entrance on either side of hall. TUFTED SERAPH in throne at end of hall hearing stream of BLESSED HARPY petitioners.
Room h.
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of BLESSED HARPY in room ^.
Room i.
One passage being slowly walled off by BLESSED HARPYs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep TUFTED SERAPH who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room j.
SIGHT: Dust on every flat surface.
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room , will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room k.
TUFTED SERAPH is having tea party w/ nervous BLESSED HARPYs, kidnapped UDDION the RHYMING SAILOR. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room l.
Circular room. When you enter all the doors slam shut, it spins around faster and faster until you don't know which way you're facing, save or be nauseated then roll 1d4 for direction you leave in. Square hole in centre, square wooden peg hidden in room can lock it in place.
Room m.
PHOEBWIND the RACIST BISHOP, suffering catastrophic memory failure, no longer sure which way they came in. Single glowing blue mushroom in centre of room does nothing if touched. Memories leeched by prolonged exposure to its light. Eating it gives you all the memories it's absorbed.
Room n.
SIGHT: Immense limestone stalactites hang from ceiling.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room o.
SOUND: Almost-subsonic warble of cave songbirds.
SOUKLEY the EMACIATED SERGEANT, armed w/ CLOWN'S STAFF, on quest to kill a BLIND SERPENT, which they are only semi-certain even lives in this dungeon.
Room p.
Panicky BLESSED HARPY wearing obviously-stolen +2 CHAIN caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round GRUFESTER the STUPID SAILOR, conspicuously missing +2 CHAIN, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room q.
SMELL: Spilt beer accumulated over decades.
Almost-frictionless surface. Works like the ice puzzles in Pokemon - once you pick a direction you're stuck with it until you hit a solid surface. Dotted with menhirs. One BLESSED HARPY w/ projectile weapon at far end of room.
Room r.
SOUND: Whistling of underworld wind from cracks in wall.
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons BLIND SERPENT from another part of dungeon.
Room s.
SIGHT: Fetishes of bone and feathers dangle from the ceiling.
SMELL: Salty as sea-air.
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering BLESSED HARPYs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room t.
BLIND SERPENT asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room u.
One passage being slowly walled off by BLESSED HARPYs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep TUFTED SERAPH who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room v.
SOUND: Slow, monotonous weeping. Sounds like it's been going for a very long time.
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room w.
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. BLIND SERPENT that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room x.
Stepping stones over slow-trickling underground river. Actually pretty easy to cross. NIGHT PANTHERs drinking at edges, not aggressive unless provoked. Easy to provoke though.
Room y.
SIGHT: Walls carved w/ ancient glyphs, adorned w/ partial mosaics.
Spiral staircase. Young BLESSED HARPYs sliding down bannisters. Will run away if they spot you, bring back angry parents.
Room z.
SOUND: Howling laughter, swiftly fades to nothing.
NEELONEUS the EMACIATED RAGPICKER, wearing HUNTER'S BREASTPLATE, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room {.
SILKULIA the POMPOUS TINSMITH consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a DEMON'S DUST, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by BLESSED HARPYs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room .
Room |.
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
TUFTED SERAPH lowering itself to play dice w/ BLESSED HARPY retainers. Will pretend it's condescending to let you live so long as you amuse it by joining in. Actually, not totally sure it can take you, not really in fighting mood, will throw game and say you've earned your freedom. Has MASK OF MURDER, might be convinced to wager it if stakes high enough.
Room }.
SOUND: Creepy singing, like every nursery rhyme in every horror movie ever.
One exit blocked by enormous obese GREY LARVAE, will only move if presented with still-alive captured BLESSED HARPY or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room ~.
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of BLESSED HARPY in room ~.
Room .
Vertical shaft w/ rope hanging from ceiling, goes two-thirds of way to floor.
Room .
Old wooden chest, given wide berth by nervous, prowling BLESSED HARPYs who are 100% certain it's a mimic. 20% chance this is true. Key to chest, even if it's a mimic, is clutched in the hand of the top half of a skeleton in room . Chest contains reasonable amount of gold, partially-chewed GREAVES OF THE OAK (operates at half efficiency until repaired), gnawed bottom half of skeleton. Possible if chest not mimic that it will follow PCs around dungeon fucking w/ them.
Room .
MAKLANTA the CRUEL WATCHMAN, pacing. Could swear there was a secret door somewhere along this otherwise featureless corridor (there isn't).
Room .
STYFYX the MUTE ASTRONOMER corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, STYFYX the MUTE ASTRONOMER fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room .
One of those Ripley's Believe It Or Not rooms where there's a row of mirrors along one wall and once you go around the corridor you can see through them. Couple of BLESSED HARPYs behind mirrors making fun of PCs, will flee as they approach. If the PCs linger, YASHLER the WHISPERING BARD will come through on the other side of the mirrors and accidentally reveal something they would kill to keep secret.
Room .
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room .
Treasure room. Magnetic gates prevent you removing any gold or steel, even if you brought it in with you. WINGED SABRE made of pure gold in hand of enormous porcelain golem. Talisman in room deactivates gates, activates golem.
Room .
SMELL: Salty as sea-air.
SOUND: Chirps of cave crickets.
ZENRICK the WHISPERING HIGHWAYMAN, with broken leg, desperately trying to fend off a couple of GREY LARVAE. Is carrying GLASS LANTERN, which would be easier to take from their corpse.
Room .
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of MOON SHRUBS. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. MOON SHRUBs carnivorous, NIGHT PANTHERs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room .
Waterfall that trickles in through crack in wall, disappears in swirling vortex into crack in earth. Tricky climb, must be made to pass room. NIGHT PANTHER den hidden in cave behind waterfall, half-digested ELIXIR OF LEVITATION in stomach of sleeping NIGHT PANTHER.
Room .
Bemused BLIND SERPENT being worshipped by bunch of prostrated BLESSED HARPYs. 25% chance this is actually a clever trick to get close enough to kill it.
Room .
Apparent dead end in BLESSED HARPY workshop. Secret door concealed beneath anvil. BLESSED HARPY blacksmith not pleased to see you, will attack with half-forged KRIS OF THE SUN, only continue to forge it if compelled. Possibility that PCs emerge from beneath anvil.
Room .
Completely empty room. Or is it? Yes. Yes it is.
Room .
SOUND: Coins clinking.
ATRAGONIA the DEAF BARBARIAN looking for girl/boy/personfriend, who they think is being held captive by BLESSED HARPYS. Actually came with them willingly to get away from ATRAGONIA the DEAF BARBARIAN, now rethinking it, dungeon life losing sense of mystery and grandeur. Still hates ATRAGONIA the DEAF BARBARIAN though. Is in room p.
Room .
BLESSED HARPY on a banjo, playing the Humanoid Blues.
Room .
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
Apparently empty room w/ very high ceiling. Vibrations in floor disturb the nests, cause rain of GREY LARVAEs. Safe to move around edges of room.
Room .
SOUND: Toads croaking.
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
Looks like three-doored room. Tarnished mirror in corner will, if cleaned, show secret fourth exit in reflection. If taken to any other room it will also show a secret extra exit in that room. Secret extra exit always goes to same place, no matter where you are in the world. Overuse has chance of awakening evil reflection monsters.
Room .
SMELL: Metallic tang of hour-old blood.
SIGHT: The roots of an ancient tree emerge from the roof.
One path overgrown w/ MOON SHRUB, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. MOON SHRUBs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room .
Lava tube. Cracks in walls, BLESSED HARPYs compressed in spaces behind cracks. Not planning to ambush, terrified of you, want you to go away. One has a LAMP OF SUBTLETY and no idea how to use it. Neither do you.
Room .
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room .
SOUND: Slow, monotonous weeping. Sounds like it's been going for a very long time.
SIGHT: Walls carved w/ ancient glyphs, adorned w/ partial mosaics.
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room .
Big circular room, TUFTED SERAPH armed with SLING OF EVIL patrolling boundaries. TUFTED SERAPH will not allow anyone to pass straight through crossroads. Doesn't mind you turning corners. Cheating by trying to turn two corners will be strictly punished.
Room .
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room , will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room .
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
Couple of sorry-looking BLESSED HARPYs roasting GREY LARVAE over fire. In surprisingly good mood, will share. If you get sick and pass out from the feast they will definitely kill you, but otherwise harmless.
Room .
SIGHT: Immense limestone stalactites hang from ceiling.
HOBBUNDUS the OILY PEDDLER, playing the flute. Has no idea they're in a dungeon. Can see everything around them perfectly clearly, just refuses to believe it's a dungeon. Will confabulate other things it could be. Flute not magical unless you desperately need it to be.
Room .
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient mansion, walls are rotting wood.
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
Enormous crystal-clear underground lake w/ MOON SHRUB growing around it, couple of NIGHT PANTHERs peacefully drinking at edges. WINGED DAGGER lies clearly visible at very bottom of lake, which is much deeper than it looks.
Room .
SIGHT: Flowers bloom everywhere, even where they shouldn't. Especially where they shouldn't.
Bunch of BLESSED HARPYs quivering in fear as you approach. BLIND SERPENT followed you in, is directly behind you.
Room .
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
Huge cavernous room w/ tiny campfire somewhere in middle. BLESSED HARPYs sitting around campfire, roasting sausages, telling filthy stories.
Room .
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with MOON SHRUB, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged VEIL OF MURDER. BLESSED HARPY cultists soon to return.
Room .
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
Bubbling lake of mildly corrosive alkaline goo must be navigated via stepping stones. GREY LARVAE hidden in goo, obviously. Harmless until you get any blood in the goo, then will go into feeding frenzy.
Room .
Looks like three-way intersection. One exit actually trap, leads to immediate dead end and floor collapse. Then BLESSED HARPYs come in and start poking you w/ sticks.
Room .
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
TUFTED SERAPH is having tea party w/ nervous BLESSED HARPYs, kidnapped WOFANNY the ARROGANT EXPLORER. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room .
Panicky BLESSED HARPY wearing obviously-stolen SLIPPERS OF DISGUISE caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round BESHIAN the DISEASED COURTESAN, conspicuously missing SLIPPERS OF DISGUISE, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room .
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room K (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons BLIND SERPENT from another part of dungeon.
Room .
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room .
SOUND: Chirps of cave crickets.
Corridor lined on each side with mirrors so it looks like infinite PCs crawling through infinite dungeons. There is a mirror somewhere in room and next time you enter it you will see your reflections banging against the glass, claiming that they are the real PCs and you are just their reflections.
Room .
TUFTED SERAPH is having tea party w/ nervous BLESSED HARPYs, kidnapped AMAFROGG the RUDE ADMIRAL. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room .
When you look down this hallway it seems to get narrower and narrower until you reach the end, which is child-sized. When you walk down it it stays the same size but you shrink. Works very differently if there's another way around.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls carved w/ ancient glyphs, adorned w/ partial mosaics.
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
Long flight of marble stairs painted black and white like piano keys. Stepping on wrong stairs flattens them into slide, makes climbing extremely difficult, getting down fun. Somebody in room knows secret pattern or it's hidden in mosaic on walls. Anyone who's a musician gets a bonus to working it out. You decide which side PCs start on.
Room .
TUFTED SERAPH dabbling in painting, composing a still life from scene of GREY LARVAE and bones. Having trouble getting the GREY LARVAE to stay still. Has left a paint canister (turbulent green) in room , politely promises to kill you unless you go get it right now.
Room .
STATHOXIS the GREEDY WIZARD, armed w/ +2 LONGBOW, on quest to kill a BLIND SERPENT, which they are only semi-certain even lives in this dungeon.
Room .
SMELL: Spilt beer accumulated over decades.
Crossroads, but one exit just loops back around into the other one. Walls of loop contain shelves for entombed corpses w/ gold coins on their eyes and GREY LARVAE concealed in their flesh.
Room .
SMELL: Humans being cooked. Indistinguishable from roast pork except to trained noses.
Rallying grounds for small BLESSED HARPY army. TUFTED SERAPH currently giving rousing speech to assembled phalanx, promising riches/success in afterlife to soldier that brings back the the juiciest human baby.
Room .
SIGHT: Fetishes of bone and feathers dangle from the ceiling.
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room .
High ledge w/ two entrances that looks out over vast lake of lava. One BLESSED HARPY peacefully fishing w/ brass rod, wire, hook. If left alone long enough he will catch something. 50% chance of hungry lava fish, 50% chance of lava treasure.
Room .
SOUND: Agonizingly slow waterdrip.
SIGHT: Ammonite, trilobite fossils visible in walls.
Hall of statues that look exactly like BLIND SERPENT. One of them is hollow and filled with GREY LARVAE.
Room .
SOUND: Whistling of underworld wind from cracks in wall.
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of BLESSED HARPY in room .
Room .
SOUND: Hiss of steam escaping through cracks in floor.
DAENUNDUS the SERVILE PRIEST impressing BLESSED HARPYs w/ magical powers of TUNIC OF SILENCE, attempting to convince them that it is their rightful king. Will turn them on PCs if they do not show DAENUNDUS the SERVILE PRIEST proper signs of obeisance. BLESSED HARPYs just humouring DAENUNDUS the SERVILE PRIEST, will happily play along.
Room .
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering BLESSED HARPYs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room .
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
SOUND: Hiss of steam escaping through cracks in floor.
Clay nest of GREY LARVAE in corner. Single BLESSED HARPY tasked w/ exterminating it, no idea where to begin, will lead you to hiding place of +2 ROD in room if you can give it a hand. Surprisingly reliable and honest.
Room .
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. BLIND SERPENT that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room .
TYRRICK the EVIL BANKER corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, TYRRICK the EVIL BANKER fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room .
SIGHT: Ammonite, trilobite fossils visible in walls.
TUFTED SERAPH's walk-in wardrobe. One entrance through wardrobe doors, one hidden behind layers of clothing. Careful searching will reveal a +2 WIG, two living scarves that try to strangle you and a BLESSED HARPY in fancy dress.
Room .
At least twenty doors. Most just lead into cupboards full of toxic mould, foul garderobes or empty sarcophagi. A few are unopenable, having nothing but rock behind them. CHANDOPPON the DOUR KING has got themselves trapped behind one and there's a half-rotted SANDALS OF THORNS in the wardrobe behind another.
Room .
Completely empty room. Or is it? Yes. Yes it is.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
BLESSED HARPYs engaging in orgiastic rite to win favour of dungeon god. Incredibly eager for you to join in.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room .
SMELL: Zoosmell, like pressing your face to a tiger and inhaling.
Couple of sorry-looking BLESSED HARPYs roasting GREY LARVAE over fire. In surprisingly good mood, will share. If you get sick and pass out from the feast they will definitely kill you, but otherwise harmless.
Room .
Dungeon oasis. Lake of pure water, grove of MOON SHRUB, NIGHT PANTHERs and BLESSED HARPYs drinking together in peace. If you start a fight here everyone in the dungeon will find out about it and regard you with unremitting hostility forever.
Room .
SOUND: Almost-subsonic warble of cave songbirds.
Two bridges across enormous bottomless pit. They do not intersect. Easy to go directly across, difficult to turn corners.
Room .
TUFTED SERAPH dabbling in painting, composing a still life from scene of GREY LARVAE and bones. Having trouble getting the GREY LARVAE to stay still. Has left a paint canister (turbulent green) in room , politely promises to kill you unless you go get it right now.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls are murky green glass. You almost feel like you can see through to the next room.
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room .
Crevasse just wide enough to jump across. Darkness above. Anyone who falls in comes out of roof, keeps falling until caught. There was a huge butterfly net in room and now you know why.
Room .
SOUND: Muffled voices from next room.
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with MOON SHRUB, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged CODPIECE OF THE RAVEN. BLESSED HARPY cultists soon to return.
Room .
SMELL: Air disgustingly humid.
SOUND: Sound like crunching glass or gnawing teeth. Comes from within walls.
STATHISK the OBESE DRUID consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a CURSED CANDLE, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by BLESSED HARPYs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room .
Room .
Time moves slower the closer you get to the middle of this room. YASHOPPON the STARVING EXPLORER, wearing a crown, wielding STILETTO OF BLOOD caught in stasis at exact centre. In fact crown is cursed - you can remove it pretty easily, breaking the curse and halting the effect, but in the time it takes you several years will have passed outside. YASHOPPON the STARVING EXPLORER is notorious character from history.
Room .
BLESSED HARPY on a banjo, playing the Humanoid Blues.
Room .
Space-distorting statue in exactly-square corner of corridor. Shaking right hand will increase number of corners until corridor is mile-long side of polygon. Shaking left hand will decrease it again.
Room .
NIGHT PANTHERs engaged in elaborate mating ritual. Single BLESSED HARPY watching w/ creepy intensity.
Room .
One exit blocked by enormous obese GREY LARVAE, will only move if presented with still-alive captured BLESSED HARPY or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room .
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room , will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room .
Terraced volcanic pools of bubbling, sulphurated water, getting warmer as you get closer to the bottom. BLIND SERPENT drinking from second-lowest pool, temporarily pacified by calming effects of hot spring, will not attack unless provoked.
Room .
Smooth, round tunnel of enormous GREY LARVAE, which you will find advancing towards you when you are halfway along.
Room .
SOUND: Agonizingly slow waterdrip.
One passage being slowly walled off by BLESSED HARPYs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep TUFTED SERAPH who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room .
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
BLIND SERPENT asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room .
Trash midden. Not planned, just naturally developed here. Infested by tiny well-concealed GREY LARVAE. No treasure, just bits of clothing that might have been magical once but no longer are.
Room .
Enormous brass lever that raises/lowers water level throughout whole dungeon. There is another, similar level in room .
Room .
SIGHT: Walls are sandstone, gritty when you touch them.
SOUND: Howling laughter, swiftly fades to nothing.
Enormous pile of DRUM OF LIGHTNINGs, all exactly alike, dumped haphazardly in corner. Only one is real. The rest are clever fakes that have a 25% chance of working once and then break. Somewhere in room is concealed the secret of finding the real one. Possibly in someone's brain.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls rough-hewn chunks of black glass, edges sharp to touch.
Staircase wraps around inner wall of well. One exit high up, one at water level. Water pitch black. BLIND SERPENT that lives in well usually not hungry, can be roused to surface by ringing bell at very top of shaft.
Room .
SOUKLISCO the CONSIDERATE DUELIST attempting to domesticate NIGHT PANTHER, with limited success. Has been reliably informed that NIGHT PANTHER's favourite food is MOON SHRUB, will pay semi-handsomely for samples.
Room .
Space is bent in such a way that walking down this tunnel will bring you out in room .
Room .
Bunch of BLESSED HARPYs who were just pointlessly fucking sitting there waiting for something to walk in so they could attack it.
Room .
Actual dungeon, exists to hold prisoners. Guarded by pair of BLESSED HARPYs, one sleepy, one watchful. They are siblings. Couple of human captives in pitiful condition, starving in cells. One is SONDOO the HELPFUL RAGPICKER.
Room .
Crossroads, but one exit just loops back around into the other one. Walls of loop contain shelves for entombed corpses w/ gold coins on their eyes and GREY LARVAE concealed in their flesh.
Room .
SOUND: Burble of distant river.
Lightless oubliette. HEFLANTA the GREEDY PROPHET has been trapped in here for at least twenty years, some BLESSED HARPYs coming by to feed and water them occasionally.
Room .
SMELL: Metallic tang of hour-old blood.
BLIND SERPENT w/ IMMOVABLE SLING stuck in it. Extremely unhappy. Someone in room concealing serious wound, would like IMMOVABLE SLING back.
Room .
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
SMELL: Salty as sea-air.
Bedchamber of three, four BLESSED HARPYs. Sodden and filthy. Careful inspection of damp rags that serve as bedding will reveal a(n) LAMP OF STRENGTH in surprisingly good condition, but forces save against filth fever.
Room .
Single enormous carnivorous MOON SHRUB that is secretly intelligent and the mastermind behind everything that happens in this dungeon.
Room .
SIGHT: Flowers bloom everywhere, even where they shouldn't. Especially where they shouldn't.
Formerly a wizard's study. Now a breeding pair of NIGHT PANTHERs has made a nest of the spellbooks, which reveal interesting magical snippets if closely examined. Torn-up pages, gummed back together, may have produced odd new spells.
Room .
SMELL: Spilt beer accumulated over decades.
SOUND: Agonizingly slow waterdrip.
TUFTED SERAPH laboratory. Weird hybrid things bubble away in glass tanks. At least one attempted crossbreed between BLESSED HARPY and NIGHT PANTHER. TUFTED SERAPH not there. HOGGLEY the CHEERFUL GARDENER pretends to be experimental captive, is actually willing lab assistant.
Room .
SIGHT: Fetishes of bone and feathers dangle from the ceiling.
SOUND: Howling laughter, swiftly fades to nothing.
BLIND SERPENT den. Sulphuric fumes vent from somewhere deep within. Contains skeleton holding LANCE OF THE CRAB, which in addition to other powers gets +2 against BLIND SERPENT. 50% chance that BLIND SERPENT is out. Secret way out of dungeon, big enough for monster to fit through.
Room .
BLESSED HARPY marketplace. Stalls selling rusted-through pots, moldy fruit, actual piles of shit. Violence prohibited in marketplace, they will not hurt you as long as you stay within the prescribed boundaries and don't break any of their weird taboos.
Room .
Ledge halfway up wall of big cylindrical pit-cavern, no way in, out except via entrances to ledge. BLIND SERPENT trapped at bottom of pit, bleeding from a number of minor wounds. Extremely long spiked sticks for poking it with. Couple of BLESSED HARPYs indulging in this pastime.
Room .
One path overgrown w/ MOON SHRUB, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. MOON SHRUBs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room .
SOUND: Howling laughter, swiftly fades to nothing.
Spiral staircase. Young BLESSED HARPYs sliding down bannisters. Will run away if they spot you, bring back angry parents.
Room .
SMELL: Zoosmell, like pressing your face to a tiger and inhaling.
Pit with GREY LARVAE lurking at bottom. V. poorly concealed. A couple of gold coins and a SAINT'S CHAIN in extremely poor condition gleam among the bones of a dead adventurer.
Room .
SMELL: Spoiled-sweet, like garbage.
SIGHT: There is a mirror in this room. It's not magical or special, it's an ordinary mirror.
Iron portcullis, BLESSED HARPY on other side asking substantial fee to raise it. Will slam it shut when you're directly under it to try and spike you to death. If you approach this from the other side the BLESSED HARPY will also be on the other side, it can squeeze through the bars.
Room .
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
FWEG the BOASTFUL PAINTER looking for girl/boy/personfriend, who they think is being held captive by BLESSED HARPYS. Actually came with them willingly to get away from FWEG the BOASTFUL PAINTER, now rethinking it, dungeon life losing sense of mystery and grandeur. Still hates FWEG the BOASTFUL PAINTER though. Is in room .
Room .
At least twenty doors. Most just lead into cupboards full of toxic mould, foul garderobes or empty sarcophagi. A few are unopenable, having nothing but rock behind them. SUMPAERYS the OBESE ADMIRAL has got themselves trapped behind one and there's a half-rotted CODPIECE OF THE JUNGLE in the wardrobe behind another.
Room .
BLESSED HARPY barracks-room, mostly empty. One fat BLESSED HARPY slobberingly asleep in corner. Has FLUTE OF THE HEAVENS on string around neck.
Room .
Observatory. Star charts, half-ground lenses, celestial globes, tables of astronomical data (looks like random numbers) and pulsar emissions. TUFTED SERAPH mesmerized by whatever it sees through single enormous telescope. If you broke the telescope's lens you could climb out of the dungeon through it.
Room .
IMPETION the OLD MERCHANT, suffering catastrophic memory failure, no longer sure which way they came in. Single glowing blue mushroom in centre of room does nothing if touched. Memories leeched by prolonged exposure to its light. Eating it gives you all the memories it's absorbed.
Room .
SIGHT: Extremely high ceiling narrows to tiny skylight.
Single incredibly-intelligent BLESSED HARPY has found only space in dungeon where it is possible to just sit and think. If left to own devices will rule own kingdom on surface world in ~10 years.
Room .
BAUDOMPA the OBESE GARDENER, wearing GIANT'S BRACERS, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room .
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of MOON SHRUBS. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. MOON SHRUBs carnivorous, NIGHT PANTHERs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room .
Cornered, enraged, only semi-wounded BLIND SERPENT preparing to unleash its ultimate attack on bunch of spear-wielding BLESSED HARPYs who think they're doing much better than they are. If you wait you can get it before its ultimate attack recharges.
Room .
NIGHT PANTHER den. Where they keep their babies. Parents not pleased to see you.
Room .
Pool of stagnant water with treasure chest at bottom. Treasure chest contains bound, gagged ATRAGUNTO the DEAF PEDDLER, is temporarily watertight. If released ATRAGUNTO the DEAF PEDDLER will demand vengeance on BLESSED HARPY in room , offer reward for assistance in this matter.
Room .
Looks like empty room. Actually maw of cave leviathan, those weird stalagmites its teeth. Glimmer of treasure deep in gullet is pyrite lure. NIGHT PANTHERs pick dead flesh from between teeth.
Room .
SOUND: Sound like crunching glass or gnawing teeth. Comes from within walls.
SMELL: Salty as sea-air.
Hideout for rebellious BLESSED HARPYs, unwilling to recognize authority of TUFTED SERAPH, want to establish tiny republic in forgotten dungeon crevice.
Room .
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of BLESSED HARPY in room ^.
Room .
Enormous mirror is scrying-portal to alternate realms. TUFTED SERAPH getting stern lecture from overboss in Plane of Chaos/other, better dungeon/Hell, will shortly emerge in extremely foul mood. If there is a mirror anywhere else in the dungeon this mirror will let you look out of it.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
SMELL: Strangely warm, like being in a kiln.
High ledge w/ two entrances that looks out over vast lake of lava. One BLESSED HARPY peacefully fishing w/ brass rod, wire, hook. If left alone long enough he will catch something. 50% chance of hungry lava fish, 50% chance of lava treasure.
Room .
Map room. Globes, nautical charts, atlases, blueprints, guidebooks. TUFTED SERAPH studying X-marked plan of faraway island, so enthralled that it has difficulty noticing PCs. Exquisite rug on room's floor seems like abstract pattern, careful study reveals it to be map of dungeon itself.
Room .
SMELL: Dry and musty, like mummy wrappings and black mold.
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
One of those Ripley's Believe It Or Not rooms where there's a row of mirrors along one wall and once you go around the corridor you can see through them. Couple of BLESSED HARPYs behind mirrors making fun of PCs, will flee as they approach. If the PCs linger, SILKANDA the PITIABLE MATHEMATICIAN will come through on the other side of the mirrors and accidentally reveal something they would kill to keep secret.
Room .
Corridor from abandoned prison. Walls lined w/ jail cells, most of the bars rotted away or overgrown w/ MOON SHRUB. NIGHT PANTHERs nesting in cell halfway along, loose brick behind cell wall conceals STONE OF THE EVENING that only works a third of the time, is haunted by ghost of HYLDFOPP the OILY WIZARD who will tell you how to fix it if you get vengeance on their jailer.
Room .
BLESSED HARPY games room. Mildewed cardboard boxes, rotting tomes with amusing titles like Ye Olde Playeres Handbooke. Spotty BLESSED HARPYS hunched over reasonably flat rock playing Humans and Hamlets with dice made of bone and precious stones. One of the dice is actually lucky.
Room .
STYFOPPON the INCOMPETENT PROPHET and PHOEBFOPP the ARROGANT PRINCESS fighting for possession of a WOODEN LANTERN, each with an extremely good argument for why it is rightfully theirs. Actually they stole it from the hoard of a TUFTED SERAPH, who had it as a birthday present from their underworld pen pal and to whom it is of great sentimental value.
Room .
SOUND: Creepy singing, like every nursery rhyme in every horror movie ever.
Bubbling lake of mildly corrosive alkaline goo must be navigated via stepping stones. GREY LARVAE hidden in goo, obviously. Harmless until you get any blood in the goo, then will go into feeding frenzy.
Room .
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
TUFTED SERAPH bedchamber. Four-poster bed, priceless paintings kidnapped from world are hung on walls and artistically befouled. Fairy kept in cage as singing nightlight begs release, claims to be able to grant wishes, can't. Golden key to cage discarded in room , TUFTED SERAPH concluded they will never need it. Cage highly portable, otherwise unbreakable.
Room .
One path overgrown w/ MOON SHRUB, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. MOON SHRUBs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room .
SMELL: Spilt beer accumulated over decades.
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room , will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
Shrine to dungeon god. Altar will curse you if you touch it unless you prepare the proper sacrifices, which consist of one ritually smothered NIGHT PANTHER. If you do it will bless you. One BLESSED HARPY elsewhere in dungeon is priest, knows secret to this.
Room .
SOUND: Creepy singing, like every nursery rhyme in every horror movie ever.
Enormous crystal-clear underground lake w/ MOON SHRUB growing around it, couple of NIGHT PANTHERs peacefully drinking at edges. TELEPORT MAUL lies clearly visible at very bottom of lake, which is much deeper than it looks.
Room .
TUFTED SERAPH bedchamber. Four-poster bed, priceless paintings kidnapped from world are hung on walls and artistically befouled. Fairy kept in cage as singing nightlight begs release, claims to be able to grant wishes, can't. Golden key to cage discarded in room , TUFTED SERAPH concluded they will never need it. Cage highly portable, otherwise unbreakable.
Room .
UDDWEG the CHEERFUL COURTIER, with broken leg, desperately trying to fend off a couple of GREY LARVAE. Is carrying INK OF BLASTING, which would be easier to take from their corpse.
Room .
Enormous mirror is scrying-portal to alternate realms. TUFTED SERAPH getting stern lecture from overboss in Plane of Chaos/other, better dungeon/Hell, will shortly emerge in extremely foul mood. If there is a mirror anywhere else in the dungeon this mirror will let you look out of it.
Room .
SOUND: Burble of distant river.
IMPONIA the PARANOID WATCHMAN consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a OCARINA OF SILENCE, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by BLESSED HARPYs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room .
Room .
SMELL: Strangely cold, like being in a meat freezer.
BLIND SERPENT den. Sulphuric fumes vent from somewhere deep within. Contains skeleton holding TELEPORT SCIMITAR, which in addition to other powers gets +2 against BLIND SERPENT. 50% chance that BLIND SERPENT is out. Secret way out of dungeon, big enough for monster to fit through.