Building 191 rooms

VIOLET BRAMBLE:   PLANT
CLOAKED SQUID: MONSTER
IMAGINARY MAGGOT: VERMIN
STAR KOBOLD: HUMANOID
PIT MINOTAUR: BOSS
FUNGAL HOUND: CRITTER

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Room A.
Bunch of STAR KOBOLDs quivering in fear as you approach. CLOAKED SQUID followed you in, is directly behind you.
Room B.
Apparent dead end in STAR KOBOLD workshop. Secret door concealed beneath anvil. STAR KOBOLD blacksmith not pleased to see you, will attack with half-forged DIRK OF THE GODS, only continue to forge it if compelled. Possibility that PCs emerge from beneath anvil.
Room C.
PIT MINOTAUR dabbling in painting, composing a still life from scene of IMAGINARY MAGGOT and bones. Having trouble getting the IMAGINARY MAGGOT to stay still. Has left a paint canister (turbulent green) in room , politely promises to kill you unless you go get it right now.
Room D.
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
One of those Ripley's Believe It Or Not rooms where there's a row of mirrors along one wall and once you go around the corridor you can see through them. Couple of STAR KOBOLDs behind mirrors making fun of PCs, will flee as they approach. If the PCs linger, BRODMAEL the SHY NURSE will come through on the other side of the mirrors and accidentally reveal something they would kill to keep secret.
Room E.
Old wooden chest, given wide berth by nervous, prowling STAR KOBOLDs who are 100% certain it's a mimic. 20% chance this is true. Key to chest, even if it's a mimic, is clutched in the hand of the top half of a skeleton in room . Chest contains reasonable amount of gold, partially-chewed ROBE OF STRENGTH (operates at half efficiency until repaired), gnawed bottom half of skeleton. Possible if chest not mimic that it will follow PCs around dungeon fucking w/ them.
Room F.
Bemused CLOAKED SQUID being worshipped by bunch of prostrated STAR KOBOLDs. 25% chance this is actually a clever trick to get close enough to kill it.
Room G.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
Cube-shaped room w/ square sliding puzzle on plinth in centre. Fetching missing piece from room and solving puzzle will completely reconfigure dungeon, reality around PCs. Roll a new dungeon, place PCs in random room.
Room H.
PIT MINOTAUR lowering itself to play dice w/ STAR KOBOLD retainers. Will pretend it's condescending to let you live so long as you amuse it by joining in. Actually, not totally sure it can take you, not really in fighting mood, will throw game and say you've earned your freedom. Has POTION OF THE MORNING, might be convinced to wager it if stakes high enough.
Room I.
Thick grove of VIOLET BRAMBLE makes it impossible to see the other side of the room. CLOAKED SQUID lurks in ambush within. It has just fed and is currently in process of burying the bones of a FUNGAL HOUND in the heavy loam of the room's floor, feeding the plants with marrow to maintain their symbiotic relationship. Still happy to kill PCs though, can always save them for later.
Room J.
Terraced volcanic pools of bubbling, sulphurated water, getting warmer as you get closer to the bottom. CLOAKED SQUID drinking from second-lowest pool, temporarily pacified by calming effects of hot spring, will not attack unless provoked.
Room K.
STAR KOBOLD herdsmen squabbling over where the sweetest VIOLET BRAMBLES are. Ones in room apparently not sweet enough. Herds of FUNGAL HOUNDs getting bored, hungry.
Room L.
SOUND: Howling laughter, swiftly fades to nothing.
SIGHT: Cobwebs in every corner.
Corridor lined on each side with mirrors so it looks like infinite PCs crawling through infinite dungeons. There is a mirror somewhere in room and next time you enter it you will see your reflections banging against the glass, claiming that they are the real PCs and you are just their reflections.
Room M.
SIGHT: Walls are sandstone, gritty when you touch them.
One passage being slowly walled off by STAR KOBOLDs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep PIT MINOTAUR who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room N.
Staircase wraps around inner wall of well. One exit high up, one at water level. Water pitch black. CLOAKED SQUID that lives in well usually not hungry, can be roused to surface by ringing bell at very top of shaft.
Room O.
CHANDEFFO the DOUR BISHOP looking for girl/boy/personfriend, who they think is being held captive by STAR KOBOLDS. Actually came with them willingly to get away from CHANDEFFO the DOUR BISHOP, now rethinking it, dungeon life losing sense of mystery and grandeur. Still hates CHANDEFFO the DOUR BISHOP though. Is in room C.
Room P.
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering STAR KOBOLDs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room Q.
Spiral staircase. Young STAR KOBOLDs sliding down bannisters. Will run away if they spot you, bring back angry parents.
Room R.
SOUND: Hiss of steam escaping through cracks in floor.
HEFION the BOASTFUL PRIEST, armed w/ KATANA OF THE CRAB, on quest to kill a CLOAKED SQUID, which they are only semi-certain even lives in this dungeon.
Room S.
Single enormous VIOLET BRAMBLE growing up towards skylight in very top of room. IMAGINARY MAGGOT nesting in roots.
Room T.
SMELL: Spoiled-sweet, like garbage.
SOUND: Coins clinking.
STAR KOBOLD on a banjo, playing the Humanoid Blues.
Room U.
SMELL: Dry and musty, like mummy wrappings and black mold.
Salt lick. Vein of salt (somehow) in wall of cave, FUNGAL HOUNDs lapping at it. If you bring salt to other parts of cave the FUNGAL HOUNDs there will lick it out of your hands and it will be adorable.
Room V.
SIGHT: Walls carved w/ ancient glyphs, adorned w/ partial mosaics.
SUMPOLMO the MUTE MATHEMATICIAN, wearing BEADS OF THE EVENING, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room W.
STAR KOBOLDs engaging in orgiastic rite to win favour of dungeon god. Incredibly eager for you to join in.
Room X.
SMELL: Dry and musty, like mummy wrappings and black mold.
Looks like three-doored room. Tarnished mirror in corner will, if cleaned, show secret fourth exit in reflection. If taken to any other room it will also show a secret extra exit in that room. Secret extra exit always goes to same place, no matter where you are in the world. Overuse has chance of awakening evil reflection monsters.
Room Y.
SMELL: Dry and musty, like mummy wrappings and black mold.
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room Z.
One path overgrown w/ VIOLET BRAMBLE, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. VIOLET BRAMBLEs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room [.
Time moves slower the closer you get to the middle of this room. STYFFEN the BLIND GLADIATOR, wearing a crown, wielding DAGGER OF LEVITATION caught in stasis at exact centre. In fact crown is cursed - you can remove it pretty easily, breaking the curse and halting the effect, but in the time it takes you several years will have passed outside. STYFFEN the BLIND GLADIATOR is notorious character from history.
Room \.
Enormous pile of LANTERN OF SUBTLETYs, all exactly alike, dumped haphazardly in corner. Only one is real. The rest are clever fakes that have a 25% chance of working once and then break. Somewhere in room is concealed the secret of finding the real one. Possibly in someone's brain.
Room ].
Couple of STAR KOBOLDs around shallow pit, gambling on combat between trained IMAGINARY MAGGOT. Intruders will be hurled into pit, but if you wait long enough the furious loser will accuse the winner of cheating and a fight will ensure.
Room ^.
TETHUNTO the DEVOUT PRIEST consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a BLESSED CORD, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by STAR KOBOLDs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room .
Room _.
SOUND: Crunch of footsteps on sand.
Smooth, round tunnel of enormous IMAGINARY MAGGOT, which you will find advancing towards you when you are halfway along.
Room `.
Dungeon oasis. Lake of pure water, grove of VIOLET BRAMBLE, FUNGAL HOUNDs and STAR KOBOLDs drinking together in peace. If you start a fight here everyone in the dungeon will find out about it and regard you with unremitting hostility forever.
Room a.
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room , will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room b.
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
CLOAKED SQUID asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room c.
SIGHT: Bioluminescent bacteria gleam in the walls and the dark mud of the floor.
One exit blocked by enormous obese IMAGINARY MAGGOT, will only move if presented with still-alive captured STAR KOBOLD or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room d.
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with VIOLET BRAMBLE, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged BREECHES OF FORTUNE. STAR KOBOLD cultists soon to return.
Room e.
SMELL: Meaty reek of underworld flowers, like frying fat and potpourri.
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. CLOAKED SQUID that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room f.
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room g.
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
SIGHT: Walls are sandstone, gritty when you touch them.
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of VIOLET BRAMBLES. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. VIOLET BRAMBLEs carnivorous, FUNGAL HOUNDs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room h.
Completely empty room. Or is it? Yes. Yes it is.
Room i.
Pool of stagnant water with treasure chest at bottom. Treasure chest contains bound, gagged PANDWOMP the MUTE SOLDIER, is temporarily watertight. If released PANDWOMP the MUTE SOLDIER will demand vengeance on STAR KOBOLD in room , offer reward for assistance in this matter.
Room j.
PIT MINOTAUR is having tea party w/ nervous STAR KOBOLDs, kidnapped SUMPYNGUS the WEEPING RAGPICKER. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room k.
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room l.
Enormous crystal-clear underground lake w/ VIOLET BRAMBLE growing around it, couple of FUNGAL HOUNDs peacefully drinking at edges. FLAMBERGE OF THE RAVEN lies clearly visible at very bottom of lake, which is much deeper than it looks.
Room m.
Vertical shaft w/ rope hanging from ceiling, goes two-thirds of way to floor.
Room n.
Pit with IMAGINARY MAGGOT lurking at bottom. V. poorly concealed. A couple of gold coins and a CHAIN OF THORNS in extremely poor condition gleam among the bones of a dead adventurer.
Room o.
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
Panicky STAR KOBOLD wearing obviously-stolen SANDALS OF DISGUISE caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round ORDLISCO the CURSED ASTRONOMER, conspicuously missing SANDALS OF DISGUISE, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room p.
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room q.
At least twenty doors. Most just lead into cupboards full of toxic mould, foul garderobes or empty sarcophagi. A few are unopenable, having nothing but rock behind them. GUNGYNGUS the AMBITIOUS RAGPICKER has got themselves trapped behind one and there's a half-rotted CHAIN OF STRENGTH in the wardrobe behind another.
Room r.
Trash midden. Not planned, just naturally developed here. Infested by tiny well-concealed IMAGINARY MAGGOT. No treasure, just bits of clothing that might have been magical once but no longer are.
Room s.
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons CLOAKED SQUID from another part of dungeon.
Room t.
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
Narrow bridge across swiftly-rushing underground river. Anyone who falls in will be carried out of dungeon, take bashing damage from rocks. STAR KOBOLD ambush party clinging to underside of bridge and/or ceiling, will attack halfway across. Some kind of perception check to spot.
Room u.
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
SOUND: Muffled voices from next room.
Corridor from abandoned prison. Walls lined w/ jail cells, most of the bars rotted away or overgrown w/ VIOLET BRAMBLE. FUNGAL HOUNDs nesting in cell halfway along, loose brick behind cell wall conceals PROPHET'S BAG that only works a third of the time, is haunted by ghost of BESHAS the LYING BEGGAR who will tell you how to fix it if you get vengeance on their jailer.
Room v.
GUNGWEG the LYING HIGHWAYMAN, playing the flute. Has no idea they're in a dungeon. Can see everything around them perfectly clearly, just refuses to believe it's a dungeon. Will confabulate other things it could be. Flute not magical unless you desperately need it to be.
Room w.
Clay nest of IMAGINARY MAGGOT in corner. Single STAR KOBOLD tasked w/ exterminating it, no idea where to begin, will lead you to hiding place of DICE OF INTELLECT in room if you can give it a hand. Surprisingly reliable and honest.
Room x.
Apparently empty room w/ very high ceiling. Vibrations in floor disturb the nests, cause rain of IMAGINARY MAGGOTs. Safe to move around edges of room.
Room y.
SIGHT: Flowers bloom everywhere, even where they shouldn't. Especially where they shouldn't.
SMELL: Faint breeze. Hard to tell where from, seems to change directions.
STAR KOBOLDs in flimsy tin-pan armour, wielding long pointy sticks, riding poorly-tamed FUNGAL HOUNDs, practicing jousting.
Room z.
SMELL: Salty as sea-air.
Site of ancient battle. Hundreds of skeletons, rusted armour, shattered helms. Single, functioning SICKLE OF THE BEAR somewhere in mess, but searching for it likely to disturb spirits of the dead.
Room {.
SMELL: Spilt beer accumulated over decades.
Big circular room, PIT MINOTAUR armed with POET'S KATANA patrolling boundaries. PIT MINOTAUR will not allow anyone to pass straight through crossroads. Doesn't mind you turning corners. Cheating by trying to turn two corners will be strictly punished.
Room |.
LOPPOO the DISEASED PEDDLER, with broken leg, desperately trying to fend off a couple of IMAGINARY MAGGOT. Is carrying FLUTE OF THE SANDS, which would be easier to take from their corpse.
Room }.
MOTHOXIS the PITIABLE PEDDLER impressing STAR KOBOLDs w/ magical powers of WITCH'S CLOAK, attempting to convince them that it is their rightful king. Will turn them on PCs if they do not show MOTHOXIS the PITIABLE PEDDLER proper signs of obeisance. STAR KOBOLDs just humouring MOTHOXIS the PITIABLE PEDDLER, will happily play along.
Room ~.
MAKLISCO the BOASTFUL PRINCESS corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, MAKLISCO the BOASTFUL PRINCESS fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room .
SOUND: Toads croaking.
CLOAKED SQUID w/ DWARVEN HALBERD stuck in it. Extremely unhappy. Someone in room h concealing serious wound, would like DWARVEN HALBERD back.
Room .
BAUDISK the WHISPERING NURSE, suffering catastrophic memory failure, no longer sure which way they came in. Single glowing blue mushroom in centre of room does nothing if touched. Memories leeched by prolonged exposure to its light. Eating it gives you all the memories it's absorbed.
Room .
Crevasse just wide enough to jump across. Darkness above. Anyone who falls in comes out of roof, keeps falling until caught. There was a huge butterfly net in room and now you know why.
Room .
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
SMELL: Dry and musty, like mummy wrappings and black mold.
STAR KOBOLD barracks-room, mostly empty. One fat STAR KOBOLD slobberingly asleep in corner. Has SKULL OF LIGHT on string around neck.
Room .
SIGHT: Ammonite, trilobite fossils visible in walls.
Inverted ziggurat - steps going down to bottom of room, altar to dungeon god at lowest point. ATRAGLANTA the OLD CLOWN is tied to altar with STAR KOBOLDs preparing to sacrifice them. Everything exactly as it seems.
Room .
Cornered, enraged, only semi-wounded CLOAKED SQUID preparing to unleash its ultimate attack on bunch of spear-wielding STAR KOBOLDs who think they're doing much better than they are. If you wait you can get it before its ultimate attack recharges.
Room .
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of STAR KOBOLD in room .
Room .
SMELL: Metallic tang of hour-old blood.
Single incredibly-intelligent STAR KOBOLD has found only space in dungeon where it is possible to just sit and think. If left to own devices will rule own kingdom on surface world in ~10 years.
Room .
Featureless span of corridor w/ pacing PIT MINOTAUR in bleak, contemplative mood, searching for reason even to live. Not aggressive until given one - then will immediately turn on PCs. Will come up w/ one on own in half hour or so.
Room .
BAUDEFFO the SHY POLITICIAN and MARDLEY the INSECURE MONK fighting for possession of a ANGEL'S NOSE, each with an extremely good argument for why it is rightfully theirs. Actually they stole it from the hoard of a PIT MINOTAUR, who had it as a birthday present from their underworld pen pal and to whom it is of great sentimental value.
Room .
Hall of statues that look exactly like CLOAKED SQUID. One of them is hollow and filled with IMAGINARY MAGGOT.
Room .
Space-distorting statue in exactly-square corner of corridor. Shaking right hand will increase number of corners until corridor is mile-long side of polygon. Shaking left hand will decrease it again.
Room .
THAGATHEON the FORGETFUL SOLDIER, pacing. Could swear there was a secret door somewhere along this otherwise featureless corridor (there isn't).
Room .
SOUND: Crunch of footsteps on sand.
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room .
SIGHT: Dust on every flat surface.
SMELL: Dry and musty, like mummy wrappings and black mold.
Stepping stones over slow-trickling underground river. Actually pretty easy to cross. FUNGAL HOUNDs drinking at edges, not aggressive unless provoked. Easy to provoke though.
Room .
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room .
SMELL: Faint caramelly smell of exotic woods.
Waterfall that trickles in through crack in wall, disappears in swirling vortex into crack in earth. Tricky climb, must be made to pass room. FUNGAL HOUND den hidden in cave behind waterfall, half-digested EYE OF THORNS in stomach of sleeping FUNGAL HOUND.
Room .
PIT MINOTAUR is having tea party w/ nervous STAR KOBOLDs, kidnapped FELONEUS the CALM BARBARIAN. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room .
SOUND: Hiss of steam escaping through cracks in floor.
Almost-frictionless surface. Works like the ice puzzles in Pokemon - once you pick a direction you're stuck with it until you hit a solid surface. Dotted with menhirs. One STAR KOBOLD w/ projectile weapon at far end of room.
Room .
Bubbling lake of mildly corrosive alkaline goo must be navigated via stepping stones. IMAGINARY MAGGOT hidden in goo, obviously. Harmless until you get any blood in the goo, then will go into feeding frenzy.
Room .
SIGHT: Extremely high ceiling narrows to tiny skylight.
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons CLOAKED SQUID from another part of dungeon.
Room .
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient mansion, walls are rotting wood.
Iron portcullis, STAR KOBOLD on other side asking substantial fee to raise it. Will slam it shut when you're directly under it to try and spike you to death. If you approach this from the other side the STAR KOBOLD will also be on the other side, it can squeeze through the bars.
Room .
One exit blocked by enormous obese IMAGINARY MAGGOT, will only move if presented with still-alive captured STAR KOBOLD or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room .
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
Extremely steep slope. Rope required to go up, down. Your choice whether the PCs start at bottom or top. Outcropping of VIOLET BRAMBLE halfway up seems like it would provide handhold, does, but also tries to eat PCs.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls made of petrified wood, as if you're in the bole of a huge ancient tree.
Looks like three-way intersection. One exit actually trap, leads to immediate dead end and floor collapse. Then STAR KOBOLDs come in and start poking you w/ sticks.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
SMELL: Spilt beer accumulated over decades.
Enormous brass lever that raises/lowers water level throughout whole dungeon. There is another, similar level in room .
Room .
SOUND: Howling laughter, swiftly fades to nothing.
SMELL: Dry and musty, like mummy wrappings and black mold.
Two bridges across enormous bottomless pit. They do not intersect. Easy to go directly across, difficult to turn corners.
Room .
Couple of sorry-looking STAR KOBOLDs roasting IMAGINARY MAGGOT over fire. In surprisingly good mood, will share. If you get sick and pass out from the feast they will definitely kill you, but otherwise harmless.
Room .
High ledge w/ two entrances that looks out over vast lake of lava. One STAR KOBOLD peacefully fishing w/ brass rod, wire, hook. If left alone long enough he will catch something. 50% chance of hungry lava fish, 50% chance of lava treasure.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls made of petrified wood, as if you're in the bole of a huge ancient tree.
GARAMPER the MASKED ASSASSIN attempting to domesticate FUNGAL HOUND, with limited success. Has been reliably informed that FUNGAL HOUND's favourite food is VIOLET BRAMBLE, will pay semi-handsomely for samples.
Room .
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
PIT MINOTAUR chained by leg or eye-stalk to centre of room. Half a dozen scabby STAR KOBOLDs taunting and jeering it.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
Ledge halfway up wall of big cylindrical pit-cavern, no way in, out except via entrances to ledge. CLOAKED SQUID trapped at bottom of pit, bleeding from a number of minor wounds. Extremely long spiked sticks for poking it with. Couple of STAR KOBOLDs indulging in this pastime.
Room .
Completely empty room. Or is it? Yes. Yes it is.
Room .
CHANDLET the DEVOUT SOLDIER corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, CHANDLET the DEVOUT SOLDIER fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls carved w/ ancient glyphs, adorned w/ partial mosaics.
SMELL: Spilt beer accumulated over decades.
Crossroads, but one exit just loops back around into the other one. Walls of loop contain shelves for entombed corpses w/ gold coins on their eyes and IMAGINARY MAGGOT concealed in their flesh.
Room .
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of VIOLET BRAMBLES. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. VIOLET BRAMBLEs carnivorous, FUNGAL HOUNDs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room .
Bunch of STAR KOBOLDs quivering in fear as you approach. CLOAKED SQUID followed you in, is directly behind you.
Room .
Map room. Globes, nautical charts, atlases, blueprints, guidebooks. PIT MINOTAUR studying X-marked plan of faraway island, so enthralled that it has difficulty noticing PCs. Exquisite rug on room's floor seems like abstract pattern, careful study reveals it to be map of dungeon itself.
Room .
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room , will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room .
SMELL: Salty as sea-air.
ORDLET the CRUEL PRIEST, with broken leg, desperately trying to fend off a couple of IMAGINARY MAGGOT. Is carrying DWARVEN ELIXIR, which would be easier to take from their corpse.
Room .
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
PIT MINOTAUR's walk-in wardrobe. One entrance through wardrobe doors, one hidden behind layers of clothing. Careful searching will reveal a CLOAK OF FORTUNE, two living scarves that try to strangle you and a STAR KOBOLD in fancy dress.
Room .
SIGHT: There is a mirror in this room. It's not magical or special, it's an ordinary mirror.
PIT MINOTAUR's walk-in wardrobe. One entrance through wardrobe doors, one hidden behind layers of clothing. Careful searching will reveal a CAPE OF HEALING, two living scarves that try to strangle you and a STAR KOBOLD in fancy dress.
Room .
Long flight of marble stairs painted black and white like piano keys. Stepping on wrong stairs flattens them into slide, makes climbing extremely difficult, getting down fun. Somebody in room h knows secret pattern or it's hidden in mosaic on walls. Anyone who's a musician gets a bonus to working it out. You decide which side PCs start on.
Room .
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room .
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
COLANDA the BOASTFUL GRAVEDIGGER impressing STAR KOBOLDs w/ magical powers of CLOAK OF THE MORNING, attempting to convince them that it is their rightful king. Will turn them on PCs if they do not show COLANDA the BOASTFUL GRAVEDIGGER proper signs of obeisance. STAR KOBOLDs just humouring COLANDA the BOASTFUL GRAVEDIGGER, will happily play along.
Room .
STAR KOBOLD barracks-room, mostly empty. One fat STAR KOBOLD slobberingly asleep in corner. Has UNGUENT OF SPRING on string around neck.
Room .
CLOAKED SQUID asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room .
SIGHT: Extremely high ceiling narrows to tiny skylight.
SMELL: Air disgustingly humid.
EDAS the STUPID SAILOR, wearing +2 SPECTACLES, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room .
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
Panicky STAR KOBOLD wearing obviously-stolen HAT OF COMMAND caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round OBERIVER the CRUEL CHAMBERMAID, conspicuously missing HAT OF COMMAND, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room .
CHANDAERYS the MUTE PLAYWRIGHT consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a +3 DUST, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by STAR KOBOLDs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room [.
Room .
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering STAR KOBOLDs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room .
Couple of sorry-looking STAR KOBOLDs roasting IMAGINARY MAGGOT over fire. In surprisingly good mood, will share. If you get sick and pass out from the feast they will definitely kill you, but otherwise harmless.
Room .
SIGHT: There is a mirror in this room. It's not magical or special, it's an ordinary mirror.
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with VIOLET BRAMBLE, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged SILKS OF PLAGUE. STAR KOBOLD cultists soon to return.
Room .
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
One passage being slowly walled off by STAR KOBOLDs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep PIT MINOTAUR who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room .
SOUND: Almost-subsonic warble of cave songbirds.
Looks like three-way intersection. One exit actually trap, leads to immediate dead end and floor collapse. Then STAR KOBOLDs come in and start poking you w/ sticks.
Room .
Lava tube. Cracks in walls, STAR KOBOLDs compressed in spaces behind cracks. Not planning to ambush, terrified of you, want you to go away. One has a TOME OF THE JUNGLE and no idea how to use it. Neither do you.
Room .
SOUND: Almost-subsonic warble of cave songbirds.
SIGHT: Ammonite, trilobite fossils visible in walls.
PIT MINOTAUR lowering itself to play dice w/ STAR KOBOLD retainers. Will pretend it's condescending to let you live so long as you amuse it by joining in. Actually, not totally sure it can take you, not really in fighting mood, will throw game and say you've earned your freedom. Has SCROLL OF THE FOREST, might be convinced to wager it if stakes high enough.
Room .
SIGHT: Ammonite, trilobite fossils visible in walls.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room .
CLOAKED SQUID den. Sulphuric fumes vent from somewhere deep within. Contains skeleton holding SCIMITAR OF THE PHILOSOPHER, which in addition to other powers gets +2 against CLOAKED SQUID. 50% chance that CLOAKED SQUID is out. Secret way out of dungeon, big enough for monster to fit through.
Room .
Circular room. When you enter all the doors slam shut, it spins around faster and faster until you don't know which way you're facing, save or be nauseated then roll 1d4 for direction you leave in. Square hole in centre, square wooden peg hidden in room T can lock it in place.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of STAR KOBOLD in room n.
Room .
Enormous pile of SKULL OF THE DESERTs, all exactly alike, dumped haphazardly in corner. Only one is real. The rest are clever fakes that have a 25% chance of working once and then break. Somewhere in room is concealed the secret of finding the real one. Possibly in someone's brain.
Room .
SIGHT: Dust on every flat surface.
Beam of light comes down from above. RAPIER OF EVIL embedded in monolith in room's centre. Can only be removed by hand of true king, which can be found - dried, placed in wall sconce, candle placed in curled fingers, is now magical torch that reveals ghosts - in room f.
Room .
SIGHT: Ammonite, trilobite fossils visible in walls.
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. CLOAKED SQUID that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room .
SMELL: Faint breeze. Hard to tell where from, seems to change directions.
Rallying grounds for small STAR KOBOLD army. PIT MINOTAUR currently giving rousing speech to assembled phalanx, promising riches/success in afterlife to soldier that brings back the the juiciest human baby.
Room .
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
STAR KOBOLD marketplace. Stalls selling rusted-through pots, moldy fruit, actual piles of shit. Violence prohibited in marketplace, they will not hurt you as long as you stay within the prescribed boundaries and don't break any of their weird taboos.
Room .
Pit with IMAGINARY MAGGOT lurking at bottom. V. poorly concealed. A couple of gold coins and a CUIRASS OF THE DESERT in extremely poor condition gleam among the bones of a dead adventurer.
Room .
SMELL: Spilt beer accumulated over decades.
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
Single enormous carnivorous VIOLET BRAMBLE that is secretly intelligent and the mastermind behind everything that happens in this dungeon.
Room .
One path overgrown w/ VIOLET BRAMBLE, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. VIOLET BRAMBLEs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls rough-hewn chunks of black glass, edges sharp to touch.
SMELL: Strangely warm, like being in a kiln.
Huge cavernous room w/ tiny campfire somewhere in middle. STAR KOBOLDs sitting around campfire, roasting sausages, telling filthy stories.
Room .
DREGWEG the CONSIDERATE TORTURER, wearing BRASS AMULET, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room .
FUNGAL HOUNDs engaged in elaborate mating ritual. Single STAR KOBOLD watching w/ creepy intensity.
Room .
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with VIOLET BRAMBLE, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged HELM OF THE HEAVENS. STAR KOBOLD cultists soon to return.
Room .
SMELL: Salty as sea-air.
High ledge w/ two entrances that looks out over vast lake of lava. One STAR KOBOLD peacefully fishing w/ brass rod, wire, hook. If left alone long enough he will catch something. 50% chance of hungry lava fish, 50% chance of lava treasure.
Room .
Old wooden chest, given wide berth by nervous, prowling STAR KOBOLDs who are 100% certain it's a mimic. 20% chance this is true. Key to chest, even if it's a mimic, is clutched in the hand of the top half of a skeleton in room . Chest contains reasonable amount of gold, partially-chewed CROWN OF TIME (operates at half efficiency until repaired), gnawed bottom half of skeleton. Possible if chest not mimic that it will follow PCs around dungeon fucking w/ them.
Room .
SIGHT: Fetishes of bone and feathers dangle from the ceiling.
ISHOLMO the LYING PEDDLER, suffering catastrophic memory failure, no longer sure which way they came in. Single glowing blue mushroom in centre of room does nothing if touched. Memories leeched by prolonged exposure to its light. Eating it gives you all the memories it's absorbed.
Room .
Treasure room. Magnetic gates prevent you removing any gold or steel, even if you brought it in with you. DIAMOND SABRE made of pure gold in hand of enormous porcelain golem. Talisman in room deactivates gates, activates golem.
Room .
Apparent dead end in STAR KOBOLD workshop. Secret door concealed beneath anvil. STAR KOBOLD blacksmith not pleased to see you, will attack with half-forged MORNINGSTAR OF DISGUISE, only continue to forge it if compelled. Possibility that PCs emerge from beneath anvil.
Room .
Space-distorting statue in exactly-square corner of corridor. Shaking right hand will increase number of corners until corridor is mile-long side of polygon. Shaking left hand will decrease it again.
Room .
Staircase wraps around inner wall of well. One exit high up, one at water level. Water pitch black. CLOAKED SQUID that lives in well usually not hungry, can be roused to surface by ringing bell at very top of shaft.
Room .
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of VIOLET BRAMBLES. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. VIOLET BRAMBLEs carnivorous, FUNGAL HOUNDs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room .
Waterfall that trickles in through crack in wall, disappears in swirling vortex into crack in earth. Tricky climb, must be made to pass room. FUNGAL HOUND den hidden in cave behind waterfall, half-digested CORD OF THE SANDS in stomach of sleeping FUNGAL HOUND.
Room .
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
CLOAKED SQUID asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room .
Single enormous VIOLET BRAMBLE growing up towards skylight in very top of room. IMAGINARY MAGGOT nesting in roots.
Room .
When you look down this hallway it seems to get narrower and narrower until you reach the end, which is child-sized. When you walk down it it stays the same size but you shrink. Works very differently if there's another way around.
Room .
SMELL: Zoosmell, like pressing your face to a tiger and inhaling.
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of STAR KOBOLD in room .
Room .
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
SIGHT: Walls are sandstone, gritty when you touch them.
Pool of stagnant water with treasure chest at bottom. Treasure chest contains bound, gagged COLLEY the RHYMING KING, is temporarily watertight. If released COLLEY the RHYMING KING will demand vengeance on STAR KOBOLD in room , offer reward for assistance in this matter.
Room .
SOUND: Agonizingly slow waterdrip.
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room .
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
Hideout for rebellious STAR KOBOLDs, unwilling to recognize authority of PIT MINOTAUR, want to establish tiny republic in forgotten dungeon crevice.
Room .
Lightless oubliette. GARLET the POMPOUS SHEPHERD has been trapped in here for at least twenty years, some STAR KOBOLDs coming by to feed and water them occasionally.
Room .
SOUND: Creepy singing, like every nursery rhyme in every horror movie ever.
PIT MINOTAUR laboratory. Weird hybrid things bubble away in glass tanks. At least one attempted crossbreed between STAR KOBOLD and FUNGAL HOUND. PIT MINOTAUR not there. HOBBASIUS the EXHAUSTED SWINEHERD pretends to be experimental captive, is actually willing lab assistant.
Room .
FUNGAL HOUND den. Where they keep their babies. Parents not pleased to see you.
Room .
Observatory. Star charts, half-ground lenses, celestial globes, tables of astronomical data (looks like random numbers) and pulsar emissions. PIT MINOTAUR mesmerized by whatever it sees through single enormous telescope. If you broke the telescope's lens you could climb out of the dungeon through it.
Room .
One passage being slowly walled off by STAR KOBOLDs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep PIT MINOTAUR who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room .
Enormous brass lever that raises/lowers water level throughout whole dungeon. There is another, similar level in room .
Room .
SOUND: Creepy singing, like every nursery rhyme in every horror movie ever.
SIGHT: Flowers bloom everywhere, even where they shouldn't. Especially where they shouldn't.
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room .
SOUND: Whistling of underworld wind from cracks in wall.
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
Shrine to dungeon god. Altar will curse you if you touch it unless you prepare the proper sacrifices, which consist of one ritually smothered FUNGAL HOUND. If you do it will bless you. One STAR KOBOLD elsewhere in dungeon is priest, knows secret to this.
Room .
SIGHT: Immense limestone stalactites hang from ceiling.
Enormous crystal-clear underground lake w/ VIOLET BRAMBLE growing around it, couple of FUNGAL HOUNDs peacefully drinking at edges. GLAIVE OF THE OAK lies clearly visible at very bottom of lake, which is much deeper than it looks.
Room .
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
Formerly a wizard's study. Now a breeding pair of FUNGAL HOUNDs has made a nest of the spellbooks, which reveal interesting magical snippets if closely examined. Torn-up pages, gummed back together, may have produced odd new spells.
Room .
Space is bent in such a way that walking down this tunnel will bring you out in room .
Room .
Actual dungeon, exists to hold prisoners. Guarded by pair of STAR KOBOLDs, one sleepy, one watchful. They are siblings. Couple of human captives in pitiful condition, starving in cells. One is WAXOSSUS the INCOMPETENT SWINEHERD.
Room .
SMELL: Faint caramelly smell of exotic woods.
SOUND: Crunch of footsteps on sand.
Salt lick. Vein of salt (somehow) in wall of cave, FUNGAL HOUNDs lapping at it. If you bring salt to other parts of cave the FUNGAL HOUNDs there will lick it out of your hands and it will be adorable.
Room .
SMELL: Faint breeze. Hard to tell where from, seems to change directions.
PIT MINOTAUR bedchamber. Four-poster bed, priceless paintings kidnapped from world are hung on walls and artistically befouled. Fairy kept in cage as singing nightlight begs release, claims to be able to grant wishes, can't. Golden key to cage discarded in room O, PIT MINOTAUR concluded they will never need it. Cage highly portable, otherwise unbreakable.
Room .
SMELL: Meaty reek of underworld flowers, like frying fat and potpourri.
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
Spiral staircase. Young STAR KOBOLDs sliding down bannisters. Will run away if they spot you, bring back angry parents.
Room .
Bunch of STAR KOBOLDs who were just pointlessly fucking sitting there waiting for something to walk in so they could attack it.
Room .
SOUND: Hiss of steam escaping through cracks in floor.
SMELL: Spoiled-sweet, like garbage.
PIT MINOTAUR is having tea party w/ nervous STAR KOBOLDs, kidnapped GRUFYX the HELPFUL GARDENER. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room .
Enormous mirror is scrying-portal to alternate realms. PIT MINOTAUR getting stern lecture from overboss in Plane of Chaos/other, better dungeon/Hell, will shortly emerge in extremely foul mood. If there is a mirror anywhere else in the dungeon this mirror will let you look out of it.
Room .
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
One exit blocked by enormous obese IMAGINARY MAGGOT, will only move if presented with still-alive captured STAR KOBOLD or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room .
Clay nest of IMAGINARY MAGGOT in corner. Single STAR KOBOLD tasked w/ exterminating it, no idea where to begin, will lead you to hiding place of DECK OF THE SWARM in room if you can give it a hand. Surprisingly reliable and honest.
Room .
STAR KOBOLD games room. Mildewed cardboard boxes, rotting tomes with amusing titles like Ye Olde Playeres Handbooke. Spotty STAR KOBOLDS hunched over reasonably flat rock playing Humans and Hamlets with dice made of bone and precious stones. One of the dice is actually lucky.
Room .
One of those Ripley's Believe It Or Not rooms where there's a row of mirrors along one wall and once you go around the corridor you can see through them. Couple of STAR KOBOLDs behind mirrors making fun of PCs, will flee as they approach. If the PCs linger, ZENRICK the BOASTFUL CHILD will come through on the other side of the mirrors and accidentally reveal something they would kill to keep secret.
Room .
SMELL: Humans being cooked. Indistinguishable from roast pork except to trained noses.
PIT MINOTAUR dabbling in painting, composing a still life from scene of IMAGINARY MAGGOT and bones. Having trouble getting the IMAGINARY MAGGOT to stay still. Has left a paint canister (turbulent green) in room , politely promises to kill you unless you go get it right now.
Room .
SOUND: Whistling of underworld wind from cracks in wall.
HOGGYX the INCOMPETENT PLAYWRIGHT looking for girl/boy/personfriend, who they think is being held captive by STAR KOBOLDS. Actually came with them willingly to get away from HOGGYX the INCOMPETENT PLAYWRIGHT, now rethinking it, dungeon life losing sense of mystery and grandeur. Still hates HOGGYX the INCOMPETENT PLAYWRIGHT though. Is in room .
Room .
Bedchamber of three, four STAR KOBOLDs. Sodden and filthy. Careful inspection of damp rags that serve as bedding will reveal a(n) STONE OF THE DEAD in surprisingly good condition, but forces save against filth fever.
Room .
Ledge halfway up wall of big cylindrical pit-cavern, no way in, out except via entrances to ledge. CLOAKED SQUID trapped at bottom of pit, bleeding from a number of minor wounds. Extremely long spiked sticks for poking it with. Couple of STAR KOBOLDs indulging in this pastime.
Room .
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
Looks like empty room. Actually maw of cave leviathan, those weird stalagmites its teeth. Glimmer of treasure deep in gullet is pyrite lure. FUNGAL HOUNDs pick dead flesh from between teeth.
Room .
SMELL: Stagnant air and decay.
Crossroads, but one exit just loops back around into the other one. Walls of loop contain shelves for entombed corpses w/ gold coins on their eyes and IMAGINARY MAGGOT concealed in their flesh.
Room .
SOUND: Slow, monotonous weeping. Sounds like it's been going for a very long time.
SMELL: Air disgustingly humid.
FUNGAL HOUND den. Where they keep their babies. Parents not pleased to see you.
Room .
STAR KOBOLDs engaging in orgiastic rite to win favour of dungeon god. Incredibly eager for you to join in.
Room .
Formerly a wizard's study. Now a breeding pair of FUNGAL HOUNDs has made a nest of the spellbooks, which reveal interesting magical snippets if closely examined. Torn-up pages, gummed back together, may have produced odd new spells.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
SMELL: Spoiled-sweet, like garbage.
Bunch of STAR KOBOLDs who were just pointlessly fucking sitting there waiting for something to walk in so they could attack it.
Room .
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
PIT MINOTAUR laboratory. Weird hybrid things bubble away in glass tanks. At least one attempted crossbreed between STAR KOBOLD and FUNGAL HOUND. PIT MINOTAUR not there. SOUKLANTA the SERVILE CHILD pretends to be experimental captive, is actually willing lab assistant.
Room .
BESHRIGHT the CONSIDERATE KING, armed w/ CHAKRAM OF ILLUSION, on quest to kill a CLOAKED SQUID, which they are only semi-certain even lives in this dungeon.
Room .
SOUND: Whistling of underworld wind from cracks in wall.
SIGHT: Walls are murky green glass. You almost feel like you can see through to the next room.
Observatory. Star charts, half-ground lenses, celestial globes, tables of astronomical data (looks like random numbers) and pulsar emissions. PIT MINOTAUR mesmerized by whatever it sees through single enormous telescope. If you broke the telescope's lens you could climb out of the dungeon through it.
Room .
STAR KOBOLD marketplace. Stalls selling rusted-through pots, moldy fruit, actual piles of shit. Violence prohibited in marketplace, they will not hurt you as long as you stay within the prescribed boundaries and don't break any of their weird taboos.
Room .
SMELL: Metallic tang of hour-old blood.
HYLDION the POMPOUS CHAMBERMAID corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, HYLDION the POMPOUS CHAMBERMAID fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room .
CLOAKED SQUID w/ KRIS OF THE DESERT stuck in it. Extremely unhappy. Someone in room concealing serious wound, would like KRIS OF THE DESERT back.
Room .
Bubbling lake of mildly corrosive alkaline goo must be navigated via stepping stones. IMAGINARY MAGGOT hidden in goo, obviously. Harmless until you get any blood in the goo, then will go into feeding frenzy.
Room .
Single enormous carnivorous VIOLET BRAMBLE that is secretly intelligent and the mastermind behind everything that happens in this dungeon.