Building 191 rooms

MAGMA MUSHROOM: PLANT
FOREST SERPENT: MONSTER
BOG TOAD: VERMIN
MAGMA BANDIT: HUMANOID
ELDER DEMON: BOSS
BEARDED GOAT: CRITTER


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Room A.
PANDFEN the INCOMPETENT SHEPHERD looking for girl/boy/personfriend, who they think is being held captive by MAGMA BANDITS. Actually came with them willingly to get away from PANDFEN the INCOMPETENT SHEPHERD, now rethinking it, dungeon life losing sense of mystery and grandeur. Still hates PANDFEN the INCOMPETENT SHEPHERD though. Is in room r.
Room B.
Couple of MAGMA BANDITs around shallow pit, gambling on combat between trained BOG TOAD. Intruders will be hurled into pit, but if you wait long enough the furious loser will accuse the winner of cheating and a fight will ensure.
Room C.
ELDER DEMON lowering itself to play dice w/ MAGMA BANDIT retainers. Will pretend it's condescending to let you live so long as you amuse it by joining in. Actually, not totally sure it can take you, not really in fighting mood, will throw game and say you've earned your freedom. Has HAND OF BLOOD, might be convinced to wager it if stakes high enough.
Room D.
ANGYNGUS the MOROSE WITCH, with broken leg, desperately trying to fend off a couple of BOG TOAD. Is carrying DUST OF LEVITATION, which would be easier to take from their corpse.
Room E.
FENDLEY the CRUEL MATHEMATICIAN attempting to domesticate BEARDED GOAT, with limited success. Has been reliably informed that BEARDED GOAT's favourite food is MAGMA MUSHROOM, will pay semi-handsomely for samples.
Room F.
SIGHT: Walls made of petrified wood, as if you're in the bole of a huge ancient tree.
One passage being slowly walled off by MAGMA BANDITs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep ELDER DEMON who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room G.
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room H.
One exit blocked by enormous obese BOG TOAD, will only move if presented with still-alive captured MAGMA BANDIT or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room I.
Huge cavernous room w/ tiny campfire somewhere in middle. MAGMA BANDITs sitting around campfire, roasting sausages, telling filthy stories.
Room J.
Salt lick. Vein of salt (somehow) in wall of cave, BEARDED GOATs lapping at it. If you bring salt to other parts of cave the BEARDED GOATs there will lick it out of your hands and it will be adorable.
Room K.
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering MAGMA BANDITs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room L.
Waterfall that trickles in through crack in wall, disappears in swirling vortex into crack in earth. Tricky climb, must be made to pass room. BEARDED GOAT den hidden in cave behind waterfall, half-digested PIRATE'S HAND in stomach of sleeping BEARDED GOAT.
Room M.
SOUND: Howling laughter, swiftly fades to nothing.
One path overgrown w/ MAGMA MUSHROOM, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. MAGMA MUSHROOMs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room N.
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons FOREST SERPENT from another part of dungeon.
Room O.
SIGHT: Walls made of petrified wood, as if you're in the bole of a huge ancient tree.
Time moves slower the closer you get to the middle of this room. BRODOVRA the JOLLY KING, wearing a crown, wielding AXE OF BLOOD caught in stasis at exact centre. In fact crown is cursed - you can remove it pretty easily, breaking the curse and halting the effect, but in the time it takes you several years will have passed outside. BRODOVRA the JOLLY KING is notorious character from history.
Room P.
High ledge w/ two entrances that looks out over vast lake of lava. One MAGMA BANDIT peacefully fishing w/ brass rod, wire, hook. If left alone long enough he will catch something. 50% chance of hungry lava fish, 50% chance of lava treasure.
Room Q.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room R.
SMELL: Stagnant air and decay.
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
Staircase wraps around inner wall of well. One exit high up, one at water level. Water pitch black. FOREST SERPENT that lives in well usually not hungry, can be roused to surface by ringing bell at very top of shaft.
Room S.
SMELL: Spilt beer accumulated over decades.
Thick grove of MAGMA MUSHROOM makes it impossible to see the other side of the room. FOREST SERPENT lurks in ambush within. It has just fed and is currently in process of burying the bones of a BEARDED GOAT in the heavy loam of the room's floor, feeding the plants with marrow to maintain their symbiotic relationship. Still happy to kill PCs though, can always save them for later.
Room T.
SIGHT: Walls rough-hewn chunks of black glass, edges sharp to touch.
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of MAGMA MUSHROOMS. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. MAGMA MUSHROOMs carnivorous, BEARDED GOATs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room U.
GRUFUS the INSECURE BANKER and IMPETIVER the TRAITOROUS DRUID fighting for possession of a LANTERN OF MURDER, each with an extremely good argument for why it is rightfully theirs. Actually they stole it from the hoard of a ELDER DEMON, who had it as a birthday present from their underworld pen pal and to whom it is of great sentimental value.
Room V.
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
SIGHT: Walls carved w/ ancient glyphs, adorned w/ partial mosaics.
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room U, will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room W.
FOREST SERPENT asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room X.
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
BRODUS the ARROGANT PALADIN consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a SCROLL OF THE STARS, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by MAGMA BANDITs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room .
Room Y.
Looks like three-doored room. Tarnished mirror in corner will, if cleaned, show secret fourth exit in reflection. If taken to any other room it will also show a secret extra exit in that room. Secret extra exit always goes to same place, no matter where you are in the world. Overuse has chance of awakening evil reflection monsters.
Room Z.
MAKAMBRA the WHISPERING MERCHANT impressing MAGMA BANDITs w/ magical powers of ANIMATED GREAVES, attempting to convince them that it is their rightful king. Will turn them on PCs if they do not show MAKAMBRA the WHISPERING MERCHANT proper signs of obeisance. MAGMA BANDITs just humouring MAKAMBRA the WHISPERING MERCHANT, will happily play along.
Room [.
SOUND: Gloop of bubbling mud.
Old wooden chest, given wide berth by nervous, prowling MAGMA BANDITs who are 100% certain it's a mimic. 20% chance this is true. Key to chest, even if it's a mimic, is clutched in the hand of the top half of a skeleton in room . Chest contains reasonable amount of gold, partially-chewed BEADS OF THE EVENING (operates at half efficiency until repaired), gnawed bottom half of skeleton. Possible if chest not mimic that it will follow PCs around dungeon fucking w/ them.
Room \.
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room ].
Rallying grounds for small MAGMA BANDIT army. ELDER DEMON currently giving rousing speech to assembled phalanx, promising riches/success in afterlife to soldier that brings back the the juiciest human baby.
Room ^.
FOREST SERPENT w/ SAILOR'S TRIDENT stuck in it. Extremely unhappy. Someone in room concealing serious wound, would like SAILOR'S TRIDENT back.
Room _.
PHALOXIS the MOROSE ASSASSIN, wearing DIAMOND GOGGLES, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room `.
SOUND: Burble of distant river.
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. FOREST SERPENT that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room a.
SMELL: Faint breeze. Hard to tell where from, seems to change directions.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
ATRAGLET the OBSEQUIOUS MERCHANT, armed w/ MACE OF THE ELEPHANT, on quest to kill a FOREST SERPENT, which they are only semi-certain even lives in this dungeon.
Room b.
Treasure room. Magnetic gates prevent you removing any gold or steel, even if you brought it in with you. CHAKRAM OF THE SWAMP made of pure gold in hand of enormous porcelain golem. Talisman in room deactivates gates, activates golem.
Room c.
Panicky MAGMA BANDIT wearing obviously-stolen COWL OF THE WOLF caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round HEFEEN the EMACIATED SALESMAN, conspicuously missing COWL OF THE WOLF, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room d.
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
SMELL: Spoiled-sweet, like garbage.
Vertical shaft w/ rope hanging from ceiling, goes two-thirds of way to floor.
Room e.
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
Pit with BOG TOAD lurking at bottom. V. poorly concealed. A couple of gold coins and a GOGGLES OF THE DAMNED in extremely poor condition gleam among the bones of a dead adventurer.
Room f.
SOUND: Almost-subsonic warble of cave songbirds.
SMELL: Spoiled-sweet, like garbage.
Completely empty room. Or is it? Yes. Yes it is.
Room g.
SOUND: Creepy singing, like every nursery rhyme in every horror movie ever.
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of MAGMA BANDIT in room .
Room h.
MAGMA BANDIT on a banjo, playing the Humanoid Blues.
Room i.
VIRIVER the PARANOID WIZARD corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, VIRIVER the PARANOID WIZARD fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room j.
SOUND: Slow, monotonous weeping. Sounds like it's been going for a very long time.
ELDER DEMON is having tea party w/ nervous MAGMA BANDITs, kidnapped GUNGOSSUS the CALM MERCHANT. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room k.
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with MAGMA MUSHROOM, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged GOGGLES OF THE DJINN. MAGMA BANDIT cultists soon to return.
Room l.
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room m.
SMELL: Faint breeze. Hard to tell where from, seems to change directions.
Bunch of MAGMA BANDITs who were just pointlessly fucking sitting there waiting for something to walk in so they could attack it.
Room n.
SOUND: Almost-subsonic warble of cave songbirds.
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room o.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room p.
Two bridges across enormous bottomless pit. They do not intersect. Easy to go directly across, difficult to turn corners.
Room q.
BEARDED GOATs engaged in elaborate mating ritual. Single MAGMA BANDIT watching w/ creepy intensity.
Room r.
SMELL: Acrid tang of goblin shit.
Bunch of MAGMA BANDITs quivering in fear as you approach. FOREST SERPENT followed you in, is directly behind you.
Room s.
Iron portcullis, MAGMA BANDIT on other side asking substantial fee to raise it. Will slam it shut when you're directly under it to try and spike you to death. If you approach this from the other side the MAGMA BANDIT will also be on the other side, it can squeeze through the bars.
Room t.
Corridor lined on each side with mirrors so it looks like infinite PCs crawling through infinite dungeons. There is a mirror somewhere in room Z and next time you enter it you will see your reflections banging against the glass, claiming that they are the real PCs and you are just their reflections.
Room u.
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
ISHION the DEVOUT BEGGAR corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, ISHION the DEVOUT BEGGAR fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room v.
SIGHT: Dust on every flat surface.
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room , will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room w.
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. FOREST SERPENT that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room x.
FOREST SERPENT asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room y.
Circular room. When you enter all the doors slam shut, it spins around faster and faster until you don't know which way you're facing, save or be nauseated then roll 1d4 for direction you leave in. Square hole in centre, square wooden peg hidden in room can lock it in place.
Room z.
Enormous brass lever that raises/lowers water level throughout whole dungeon. There is another, similar level in room .
Room {.
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
Featureless span of corridor w/ pacing ELDER DEMON in bleak, contemplative mood, searching for reason even to live. Not aggressive until given one - then will immediately turn on PCs. Will come up w/ one on own in half hour or so.
Room |.
SIGHT: Walls made of petrified wood, as if you're in the bole of a huge ancient tree.
SONDRINGO the JOLLY PROPHET consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a BAG OF WINTER, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by MAGMA BANDITs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room .
Room }.
SMELL: Humans being cooked. Indistinguishable from roast pork except to trained noses.
SOUND: Chirps of cave crickets.
Clay nest of BOG TOAD in corner. Single MAGMA BANDIT tasked w/ exterminating it, no idea where to begin, will lead you to hiding place of OCARINA OF TIME in room T if you can give it a hand. Surprisingly reliable and honest.
Room ~.
Single enormous MAGMA MUSHROOM growing up towards skylight in very top of room. BOG TOAD nesting in roots.
Room .
Space-distorting statue in exactly-square corner of corridor. Shaking right hand will increase number of corners until corridor is mile-long side of polygon. Shaking left hand will decrease it again.
Room .
SOUND: Toads croaking.
SIGHT: Flowers bloom everywhere, even where they shouldn't. Especially where they shouldn't.
Long flight of marble stairs painted black and white like piano keys. Stepping on wrong stairs flattens them into slide, makes climbing extremely difficult, getting down fun. Somebody in room knows secret pattern or it's hidden in mosaic on walls. Anyone who's a musician gets a bonus to working it out. You decide which side PCs start on.
Room .
SOUND: Whistling of underworld wind from cracks in wall.
SIGHT: Walls carved w/ ancient glyphs, adorned w/ partial mosaics.
Stepping stones over slow-trickling underground river. Actually pretty easy to cross. BEARDED GOATs drinking at edges, not aggressive unless provoked. Easy to provoke though.
Room .
ELDER DEMON chained by leg or eye-stalk to centre of room. Half a dozen scabby MAGMA BANDITs taunting and jeering it.
Room .
ELDER DEMON's walk-in wardrobe. One entrance through wardrobe doors, one hidden behind layers of clothing. Careful searching will reveal a DIADEM OF THE PHOENIX, two living scarves that try to strangle you and a MAGMA BANDIT in fancy dress.
Room .
SMELL: Strangely warm, like being in a kiln.
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of MAGMA MUSHROOMS. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. MAGMA MUSHROOMs carnivorous, BEARDED GOATs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room .
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
Pool of stagnant water with treasure chest at bottom. Treasure chest contains bound, gagged BAUDLEGG the AMBITIOUS DOCTOR, is temporarily watertight. If released BAUDLEGG the AMBITIOUS DOCTOR will demand vengeance on MAGMA BANDIT in room I, offer reward for assistance in this matter.
Room .
SOUND: Howling laughter, swiftly fades to nothing.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room .
STATHAS the CHEERFUL COOK, wearing BREASTPLATE OF THE OAK, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room .
SIGHT: Immense limestone stalactites hang from ceiling.
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room .
Ledge halfway up wall of big cylindrical pit-cavern, no way in, out except via entrances to ledge. FOREST SERPENT trapped at bottom of pit, bleeding from a number of minor wounds. Extremely long spiked sticks for poking it with. Couple of MAGMA BANDITs indulging in this pastime.
Room .
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of MAGMA BANDIT in room .
Room .
SIGHT: Bioluminescent bacteria gleam in the walls and the dark mud of the floor.
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
ELDER DEMON is having tea party w/ nervous MAGMA BANDITs, kidnapped THAGISK the DEVOUT WITCH. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room .
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room w (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons FOREST SERPENT from another part of dungeon.
Room .
One exit blocked by enormous obese BOG TOAD, will only move if presented with still-alive captured MAGMA BANDIT or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room .
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with MAGMA MUSHROOM, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged GOGGLES OF TRICKERY. MAGMA BANDIT cultists soon to return.
Room .
MAGMA BANDIT barracks-room, mostly empty. One fat MAGMA BANDIT slobberingly asleep in corner. Has TOTEM OF FORCE on string around neck.
Room .
SMELL: Strangely cold, like being in a meat freezer.
Crossroads, but one exit just loops back around into the other one. Walls of loop contain shelves for entombed corpses w/ gold coins on their eyes and BOG TOAD concealed in their flesh.
Room .
SOUND: Coins clinking.
One passage being slowly walled off by MAGMA BANDITs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep ELDER DEMON who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room .
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient mansion, walls are rotting wood.
SOUND: Gloop of bubbling mud.
Crevasse just wide enough to jump across. Darkness above. Anyone who falls in comes out of roof, keeps falling until caught. There was a huge butterfly net in room and now you know why.
Room .
SOUND: Sound like crunching glass or gnawing teeth. Comes from within walls.
Panicky MAGMA BANDIT wearing obviously-stolen EARRING OF TRICKERY caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round PHALONIA the ABSENT-MINDED MATHEMATICIAN, conspicuously missing EARRING OF TRICKERY, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room .
MAGMA BANDITs in flimsy tin-pan armour, wielding long pointy sticks, riding poorly-tamed BEARDED GOATs, practicing jousting.
Room .
Bubbling lake of mildly corrosive alkaline goo must be navigated via stepping stones. BOG TOAD hidden in goo, obviously. Harmless until you get any blood in the goo, then will go into feeding frenzy.
Room .
SOUND: Agonizingly slow waterdrip.
Bemused FOREST SERPENT being worshipped by bunch of prostrated MAGMA BANDITs. 25% chance this is actually a clever trick to get close enough to kill it.
Room .
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
Almost-frictionless surface. Works like the ice puzzles in Pokemon - once you pick a direction you're stuck with it until you hit a solid surface. Dotted with menhirs. One MAGMA BANDIT w/ projectile weapon at far end of room.
Room .
SMELL: Air disgustingly humid.
SIGHT: Cobwebs in every corner.
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering MAGMA BANDITs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room .
ELDER DEMON dabbling in painting, composing a still life from scene of BOG TOAD and bones. Having trouble getting the BOG TOAD to stay still. Has left a paint canister (turbulent green) in room , politely promises to kill you unless you go get it right now.
Room .
One path overgrown w/ MAGMA MUSHROOM, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. MAGMA MUSHROOMs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room .
SMELL: Vomit.
Lava tube. Cracks in walls, MAGMA BANDITs compressed in spaces behind cracks. Not planning to ambush, terrified of you, want you to go away. One has a LANTERN OF THE HEAVENS and no idea how to use it. Neither do you.
Room .
Spiral staircase. Young MAGMA BANDITs sliding down bannisters. Will run away if they spot you, bring back angry parents.
Room .
SMELL: Zoosmell, like pressing your face to a tiger and inhaling.
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of MAGMA MUSHROOMS. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. MAGMA MUSHROOMs carnivorous, BEARDED GOATs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room .
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
ARBAXAS the CURSED TINSMITH, suffering catastrophic memory failure, no longer sure which way they came in. Single glowing blue mushroom in centre of room does nothing if touched. Memories leeched by prolonged exposure to its light. Eating it gives you all the memories it's absorbed.
Room .
MAGMA BANDITs engaging in orgiastic rite to win favour of dungeon god. Incredibly eager for you to join in.
Room .
Enormous crystal-clear underground lake w/ MAGMA MUSHROOM growing around it, couple of BEARDED GOATs peacefully drinking at edges. JAVELIN OF THE PHILOSOPHER lies clearly visible at very bottom of lake, which is much deeper than it looks.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls are sandstone, gritty when you touch them.
One of those Ripley's Believe It Or Not rooms where there's a row of mirrors along one wall and once you go around the corridor you can see through them. Couple of MAGMA BANDITs behind mirrors making fun of PCs, will flee as they approach. If the PCs linger, ISHAMPER the TRAITOROUS WATCHMAN will come through on the other side of the mirrors and accidentally reveal something they would kill to keep secret.
Room .
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
FENDFIANA the LYING THIEF, pacing. Could swear there was a secret door somewhere along this otherwise featureless corridor (there isn't).
Room .
Cube-shaped room w/ square sliding puzzle on plinth in centre. Fetching missing piece from room and solving puzzle will completely reconfigure dungeon, reality around PCs. Roll a new dungeon, place PCs in random room.
Room .
SMELL: Vomit.
Looks like three-way intersection. One exit actually trap, leads to immediate dead end and floor collapse. Then MAGMA BANDITs come in and start poking you w/ sticks.
Room .
MAGMA BANDIT games room. Mildewed cardboard boxes, rotting tomes with amusing titles like Ye Olde Playeres Handbooke. Spotty MAGMA BANDITS hunched over reasonably flat rock playing Humans and Hamlets with dice made of bone and precious stones. One of the dice is actually lucky.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls are sandstone, gritty when you touch them.
FOREST SERPENT asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room .
SMELL: Metallic tang of hour-old blood.
Big circular room, ELDER DEMON armed with POET'S CROSSBOW patrolling boundaries. ELDER DEMON will not allow anyone to pass straight through crossroads. Doesn't mind you turning corners. Cheating by trying to turn two corners will be strictly punished.
Room .
STYFONEUS the FORGETFUL BISHOP, playing the flute. Has no idea they're in a dungeon. Can see everything around them perfectly clearly, just refuses to believe it's a dungeon. Will confabulate other things it could be. Flute not magical unless you desperately need it to be.
Room .
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering MAGMA BANDITs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room .
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons FOREST SERPENT from another part of dungeon.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls made of petrified wood, as if you're in the bole of a huge ancient tree.
ORDOSSUS the TRAITOROUS PEASANT consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a POTION OF THE EVENING, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by MAGMA BANDITs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room .
Room .
Trash midden. Not planned, just naturally developed here. Infested by tiny well-concealed BOG TOAD. No treasure, just bits of clothing that might have been magical once but no longer are.
Room .
When you look down this hallway it seems to get narrower and narrower until you reach the end, which is child-sized. When you walk down it it stays the same size but you shrink. Works very differently if there's another way around.
Room .
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
One passage being slowly walled off by MAGMA BANDITs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep ELDER DEMON who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room .
Panicky MAGMA BANDIT wearing obviously-stolen SAILOR'S HEADBAND caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round UDDLET the WHISTLING SWINEHERD, conspicuously missing SAILOR'S HEADBAND, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room .
YASHFIANA the POMPOUS PALADIN corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, YASHFIANA the POMPOUS PALADIN fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room .
One exit blocked by enormous obese BOG TOAD, will only move if presented with still-alive captured MAGMA BANDIT or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room .
Inverted ziggurat - steps going down to bottom of room, altar to dungeon god at lowest point. MOTHFEN the KIND POLITICIAN is tied to altar with MAGMA BANDITs preparing to sacrifice them. Everything exactly as it seems.
Room .
Couple of sorry-looking MAGMA BANDITs roasting BOG TOAD over fire. In surprisingly good mood, will share. If you get sick and pass out from the feast they will definitely kill you, but otherwise harmless.
Room .
SOUND: Slow, monotonous weeping. Sounds like it's been going for a very long time.
SMELL: Zoosmell, like pressing your face to a tiger and inhaling.
Feast hall / audience chamber of underworld king. One entrance on either side of hall. ELDER DEMON in throne at end of hall hearing stream of MAGMA BANDIT petitioners.
Room .
MAGMA BANDIT marketplace. Stalls selling rusted-through pots, moldy fruit, actual piles of shit. Violence prohibited in marketplace, they will not hurt you as long as you stay within the prescribed boundaries and don't break any of their weird taboos.
Room .
SIGHT: Floor covered w/ layer of gritty sand.
Pit with BOG TOAD lurking at bottom. V. poorly concealed. A couple of gold coins and a BUCKLER OF THE DJINN in extremely poor condition gleam among the bones of a dead adventurer.
Room .
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of MAGMA BANDIT in room .
Room .
SIGHT: Floor covered w/ layer of gritty sand.
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room , will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room .
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room .
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room .
SOUND: Almost-subsonic warble of cave songbirds.
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
Enormous pile of DEMON'S SKULLs, all exactly alike, dumped haphazardly in corner. Only one is real. The rest are clever fakes that have a 25% chance of working once and then break. Somewhere in room is concealed the secret of finding the real one. Possibly in someone's brain.
Room .
ELDER DEMON lowering itself to play dice w/ MAGMA BANDIT retainers. Will pretend it's condescending to let you live so long as you amuse it by joining in. Actually, not totally sure it can take you, not really in fighting mood, will throw game and say you've earned your freedom. Has ELIXIR OF THE ELEPHANT, might be convinced to wager it if stakes high enough.
Room .
MAGMA BANDITs engaging in orgiastic rite to win favour of dungeon god. Incredibly eager for you to join in.
Room .
ISHONEUS the RACIST MERCHANT, wearing CROWN OF COMMAND, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room .
MAGMA BANDIT herdsmen squabbling over where the sweetest MAGMA MUSHROOMS are. Ones in room apparently not sweet enough. Herds of BEARDED GOATs getting bored, hungry.
Room .
SMELL: Air disgustingly humid.
Apparently empty room w/ very high ceiling. Vibrations in floor disturb the nests, cause rain of BOG TOADs. Safe to move around edges of room.
Room .
One path overgrown w/ MAGMA MUSHROOM, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. MAGMA MUSHROOMs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room .
SOUND: Crunch of footsteps on sand.
Apparent dead end in MAGMA BANDIT workshop. Secret door concealed beneath anvil. MAGMA BANDIT blacksmith not pleased to see you, will attack with half-forged STILETTO OF SHADOW, only continue to forge it if compelled. Possibility that PCs emerge from beneath anvil.
Room .
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. FOREST SERPENT that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room .
ELDER DEMON is having tea party w/ nervous MAGMA BANDITs, kidnapped THEODYX the STUPID BISHOP. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room .
SOUND: Muffled voices from next room.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient mansion, walls are rotting wood.
Space-distorting statue in exactly-square corner of corridor. Shaking right hand will increase number of corners until corridor is mile-long side of polygon. Shaking left hand will decrease it again.
Room .
SMELL: Metallic tang of hour-old blood.
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with MAGMA MUSHROOM, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged BOOTS OF INTELLECT. MAGMA BANDIT cultists soon to return.
Room .
SIGHT: Dust on every flat surface.
SOUND: Burble of distant river.
Beam of light comes down from above. MAUL OF THE PHILOSOPHER embedded in monolith in room's centre. Can only be removed by hand of true king, which can be found - dried, placed in wall sconce, candle placed in curled fingers, is now magical torch that reveals ghosts - in room .
Room .
SMELL: Air painfully dry.
High ledge w/ two entrances that looks out over vast lake of lava. One MAGMA BANDIT peacefully fishing w/ brass rod, wire, hook. If left alone long enough he will catch something. 50% chance of hungry lava fish, 50% chance of lava treasure.
Room .
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls made of petrified wood, as if you're in the bole of a huge ancient tree.
SOUND: Toads croaking.
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room .
SMELL: Salty as sea-air.
SOUND: Whistling of underworld wind from cracks in wall.
At least twenty doors. Most just lead into cupboards full of toxic mould, foul garderobes or empty sarcophagi. A few are unopenable, having nothing but rock behind them. UDDFOPP the WHIMSICAL COOK has got themselves trapped behind one and there's a half-rotted ELVEN SLIPPERS in the wardrobe behind another.
Room .
SMELL: Salty as sea-air.
FOREST SERPENT w/ STAFF OF PIERCING stuck in it. Extremely unhappy. Someone in room concealing serious wound, would like STAFF OF PIERCING back.
Room .
Ledge halfway up wall of big cylindrical pit-cavern, no way in, out except via entrances to ledge. FOREST SERPENT trapped at bottom of pit, bleeding from a number of minor wounds. Extremely long spiked sticks for poking it with. Couple of MAGMA BANDITs indulging in this pastime.
Room .
SMELL: Strangely cold, like being in a meat freezer.
Site of ancient battle. Hundreds of skeletons, rusted armour, shattered helms. Single, functioning JAVELIN OF THE DJINN somewhere in mess, but searching for it likely to disturb spirits of the dead.
Room .
Dungeon oasis. Lake of pure water, grove of MAGMA MUSHROOM, BEARDED GOATs and MAGMA BANDITs drinking together in peace. If you start a fight here everyone in the dungeon will find out about it and regard you with unremitting hostility forever.
Room .
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
SOUND: Howling laughter, swiftly fades to nothing.
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of MAGMA BANDIT in room .
Room .
Hall of statues that look exactly like FOREST SERPENT. One of them is hollow and filled with BOG TOAD.
Room .
Salt lick. Vein of salt (somehow) in wall of cave, BEARDED GOATs lapping at it. If you bring salt to other parts of cave the BEARDED GOATs there will lick it out of your hands and it will be adorable.
Room .
Extremely steep slope. Rope required to go up, down. Your choice whether the PCs start at bottom or top. Outcropping of MAGMA MUSHROOM halfway up seems like it would provide handhold, does, but also tries to eat PCs.
Room .
Terraced volcanic pools of bubbling, sulphurated water, getting warmer as you get closer to the bottom. FOREST SERPENT drinking from second-lowest pool, temporarily pacified by calming effects of hot spring, will not attack unless provoked.
Room .
Enormous mirror is scrying-portal to alternate realms. ELDER DEMON getting stern lecture from overboss in Plane of Chaos/other, better dungeon/Hell, will shortly emerge in extremely foul mood. If there is a mirror anywhere else in the dungeon this mirror will let you look out of it.
Room .
SMELL: Stagnant air and decay.
SIGHT: Walls rough-hewn chunks of black glass, edges sharp to touch.
Space is bent in such a way that walking down this tunnel will bring you out in room .
Room .
Cornered, enraged, only semi-wounded FOREST SERPENT preparing to unleash its ultimate attack on bunch of spear-wielding MAGMA BANDITs who think they're doing much better than they are. If you wait you can get it before its ultimate attack recharges.
Room .
Lightless oubliette. MARDELOPA the STINKING KING has been trapped in here for at least twenty years, some MAGMA BANDITs coming by to feed and water them occasionally.
Room .
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering MAGMA BANDITs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room .
SMELL: Vomit.
Bedchamber of three, four MAGMA BANDITs. Sodden and filthy. Careful inspection of damp rags that serve as bedding will reveal a(n) ROD OF THE FOREST in surprisingly good condition, but forces save against filth fever.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
TYRONIA the EVIL SAILOR, suffering catastrophic memory failure, no longer sure which way they came in. Single glowing blue mushroom in centre of room does nothing if touched. Memories leeched by prolonged exposure to its light. Eating it gives you all the memories it's absorbed.
Room .
Enormous pile of SAILOR'S MASKs, all exactly alike, dumped haphazardly in corner. Only one is real. The rest are clever fakes that have a 25% chance of working once and then break. Somewhere in room is concealed the secret of finding the real one. Possibly in someone's brain.
Room .
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
HOBBRICK the SHY DUELIST impressing MAGMA BANDITs w/ magical powers of SCORPION BRACERS, attempting to convince them that it is their rightful king. Will turn them on PCs if they do not show HOBBRICK the SHY DUELIST proper signs of obeisance. MAGMA BANDITs just humouring HOBBRICK the SHY DUELIST, will happily play along.
Room .
ELDER DEMON bedchamber. Four-poster bed, priceless paintings kidnapped from world are hung on walls and artistically befouled. Fairy kept in cage as singing nightlight begs release, claims to be able to grant wishes, can't. Golden key to cage discarded in room , ELDER DEMON concluded they will never need it. Cage highly portable, otherwise unbreakable.
Room .
Actual dungeon, exists to hold prisoners. Guarded by pair of MAGMA BANDITs, one sleepy, one watchful. They are siblings. Couple of human captives in pitiful condition, starving in cells. One is PANDISK the VENGEFUL FOP.
Room .
Formerly a wizard's study. Now a breeding pair of BEARDED GOATs has made a nest of the spellbooks, which reveal interesting magical snippets if closely examined. Torn-up pages, gummed back together, may have produced odd new spells.
Room .
Looks like empty room. Actually maw of cave leviathan, those weird stalagmites its teeth. Glimmer of treasure deep in gullet is pyrite lure. BEARDED GOATs pick dead flesh from between teeth.
Room .
Old wooden chest, given wide berth by nervous, prowling MAGMA BANDITs who are 100% certain it's a mimic. 20% chance this is true. Key to chest, even if it's a mimic, is clutched in the hand of the top half of a skeleton in room . Chest contains reasonable amount of gold, partially-chewed BLESSED WIG (operates at half efficiency until repaired), gnawed bottom half of skeleton. Possible if chest not mimic that it will follow PCs around dungeon fucking w/ them.
Room .
Looks like three-doored room. Tarnished mirror in corner will, if cleaned, show secret fourth exit in reflection. If taken to any other room it will also show a secret extra exit in that room. Secret extra exit always goes to same place, no matter where you are in the world. Overuse has chance of awakening evil reflection monsters.
Room .
MAKRIGHT the DEVOUT ACTOR, armed w/ RAINBOW FALCHION, on quest to kill a FOREST SERPENT, which they are only semi-certain even lives in this dungeon.
Room .
SOUND: Sound like crunching glass or gnawing teeth. Comes from within walls.
ELDER DEMON's walk-in wardrobe. One entrance through wardrobe doors, one hidden behind layers of clothing. Careful searching will reveal a EARRING OF THE BASILISK, two living scarves that try to strangle you and a MAGMA BANDIT in fancy dress.
Room .
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
SMELL: Spoiled-sweet, like garbage.
BEARDED GOAT den. Where they keep their babies. Parents not pleased to see you.
Room .
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
MAGMA BANDIT marketplace. Stalls selling rusted-through pots, moldy fruit, actual piles of shit. Violence prohibited in marketplace, they will not hurt you as long as you stay within the prescribed boundaries and don't break any of their weird taboos.
Room .
Shrine to dungeon god. Altar will curse you if you touch it unless you prepare the proper sacrifices, which consist of one ritually smothered BEARDED GOAT. If you do it will bless you. One MAGMA BANDIT elsewhere in dungeon is priest, knows secret to this.
Room .
Clay nest of BOG TOAD in corner. Single MAGMA BANDIT tasked w/ exterminating it, no idea where to begin, will lead you to hiding place of PAINTBRUSH OF ORDER in room if you can give it a hand. Surprisingly reliable and honest.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls are murky green glass. You almost feel like you can see through to the next room.
Single enormous carnivorous MAGMA MUSHROOM that is secretly intelligent and the mastermind behind everything that happens in this dungeon.
Room .
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
Map room. Globes, nautical charts, atlases, blueprints, guidebooks. ELDER DEMON studying X-marked plan of faraway island, so enthralled that it has difficulty noticing PCs. Exquisite rug on room's floor seems like abstract pattern, careful study reveals it to be map of dungeon itself.
Room .
SMELL: Acrid tang of goblin shit.
Observatory. Star charts, half-ground lenses, celestial globes, tables of astronomical data (looks like random numbers) and pulsar emissions. ELDER DEMON mesmerized by whatever it sees through single enormous telescope. If you broke the telescope's lens you could climb out of the dungeon through it.
Room .
Pool of stagnant water with treasure chest at bottom. Treasure chest contains bound, gagged FFEN the PEDANTIC MONK, is temporarily watertight. If released FFEN the PEDANTIC MONK will demand vengeance on MAGMA BANDIT in room , offer reward for assistance in this matter.
Room .
SIGHT: There is a mirror in this room. It's not magical or special, it's an ordinary mirror.
Hideout for rebellious MAGMA BANDITs, unwilling to recognize authority of ELDER DEMON, want to establish tiny republic in forgotten dungeon crevice.
Room .
Single incredibly-intelligent MAGMA BANDIT has found only space in dungeon where it is possible to just sit and think. If left to own devices will rule own kingdom on surface world in ~10 years.
Room .
Enormous brass lever that raises/lowers water level throughout whole dungeon. There is another, similar level in room A.
Room .
ELDER DEMON laboratory. Weird hybrid things bubble away in glass tanks. At least one attempted crossbreed between MAGMA BANDIT and BEARDED GOAT. ELDER DEMON not there. GRUFEFFO the PARANOID NURSE pretends to be experimental captive, is actually willing lab assistant.
Room .
SMELL: Spoiled-sweet, like garbage.
SIGHT: Immense limestone stalactites hang from ceiling.
Bubbling lake of mildly corrosive alkaline goo must be navigated via stepping stones. BOG TOAD hidden in goo, obviously. Harmless until you get any blood in the goo, then will go into feeding frenzy.
Room .
MAGMA BANDIT on a banjo, playing the Humanoid Blues.
Room .
SMELL: Vomit.
SOUND: Slow, monotonous weeping. Sounds like it's been going for a very long time.
One path overgrown w/ MAGMA MUSHROOM, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. MAGMA MUSHROOMs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room .
SIGHT: There is a mirror in this room. It's not magical or special, it's an ordinary mirror.
SOUND: Creepy singing, like every nursery rhyme in every horror movie ever.
FOREST SERPENT den. Sulphuric fumes vent from somewhere deep within. Contains skeleton holding GHOST CHAKRAM, which in addition to other powers gets +2 against FOREST SERPENT. 50% chance that FOREST SERPENT is out. Secret way out of dungeon, big enough for monster to fit through.
Room .
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
Enormous mirror is scrying-portal to alternate realms. ELDER DEMON getting stern lecture from overboss in Plane of Chaos/other, better dungeon/Hell, will shortly emerge in extremely foul mood. If there is a mirror anywhere else in the dungeon this mirror will let you look out of it.
Room .
Shrine to dungeon god. Altar will curse you if you touch it unless you prepare the proper sacrifices, which consist of one ritually smothered BEARDED GOAT. If you do it will bless you. One MAGMA BANDIT elsewhere in dungeon is priest, knows secret to this.
Room .
SMELL: Metallic tang of hour-old blood.
SIGHT: Bioluminescent bacteria gleam in the walls and the dark mud of the floor.
Space is bent in such a way that walking down this tunnel will bring you out in room i.
Room .
Apparent dead end in MAGMA BANDIT workshop. Secret door concealed beneath anvil. MAGMA BANDIT blacksmith not pleased to see you, will attack with half-forged GHOST SICKLE, only continue to forge it if compelled. Possibility that PCs emerge from beneath anvil.
Room .
SMELL: Zoosmell, like pressing your face to a tiger and inhaling.
FENDWEPP the ENERGETIC CHAMBERMAID and MARDION the CALM MERCHANT fighting for possession of a SAINT'S BOTTLE, each with an extremely good argument for why it is rightfully theirs. Actually they stole it from the hoard of a ELDER DEMON, who had it as a birthday present from their underworld pen pal and to whom it is of great sentimental value.
Room .
BEARDED GOAT den. Where they keep their babies. Parents not pleased to see you.
Room .
Cornered, enraged, only semi-wounded FOREST SERPENT preparing to unleash its ultimate attack on bunch of spear-wielding MAGMA BANDITs who think they're doing much better than they are. If you wait you can get it before its ultimate attack recharges.
Room .
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
Narrow bridge across swiftly-rushing underground river. Anyone who falls in will be carried out of dungeon, take bashing damage from rocks. MAGMA BANDIT ambush party clinging to underside of bridge and/or ceiling, will attack halfway across. Some kind of perception check to spot.
Room .
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient mansion, walls are rotting wood.
ELDER DEMON laboratory. Weird hybrid things bubble away in glass tanks. At least one attempted crossbreed between MAGMA BANDIT and BEARDED GOAT. ELDER DEMON not there. SHIRRIGHT the INSECURE EXPLORER pretends to be experimental captive, is actually willing lab assistant.
Room .
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
GUNGASIUS the WEEPING NURSE looking for girl/boy/personfriend, who they think is being held captive by MAGMA BANDITS. Actually came with them willingly to get away from GUNGASIUS the WEEPING NURSE, now rethinking it, dungeon life losing sense of mystery and grandeur. Still hates GUNGASIUS the WEEPING NURSE though. Is in room .