Building 191 rooms

WHITE VINE:       PLANT
HEADLESS GRYPHON: MONSTER
STAR MANTIS: VERMIN
STONE ORC: HUMANOID
WAR GOLEM: BOSS
BRASS BAT: CRITTER


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Room A.
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
SMELL: Air disgustingly humid.
Cube-shaped room w/ square sliding puzzle on plinth in centre. Fetching missing piece from room k and solving puzzle will completely reconfigure dungeon, reality around PCs. Roll a new dungeon, place PCs in random room.
Room B.
HEADLESS GRYPHON asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room C.
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room D.
One of those Ripley's Believe It Or Not rooms where there's a row of mirrors along one wall and once you go around the corridor you can see through them. Couple of STONE ORCs behind mirrors making fun of PCs, will flee as they approach. If the PCs linger, WOFATHEON the DISEASED SENATOR will come through on the other side of the mirrors and accidentally reveal something they would kill to keep secret.
Room E.
SIGHT: There is a mirror in this room. It's not magical or special, it's an ordinary mirror.
SMELL: Meaty reek of underworld flowers, like frying fat and potpourri.
Single enormous WHITE VINE growing up towards skylight in very top of room. STAR MANTIS nesting in roots.
Room F.
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room G.
Circular room. When you enter all the doors slam shut, it spins around faster and faster until you don't know which way you're facing, save or be nauseated then roll 1d4 for direction you leave in. Square hole in centre, square wooden peg hidden in room s can lock it in place.
Room H.
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
Dungeon oasis. Lake of pure water, grove of WHITE VINE, BRASS BATs and STONE ORCs drinking together in peace. If you start a fight here everyone in the dungeon will find out about it and regard you with unremitting hostility forever.
Room I.
SOUND: Agonizingly slow waterdrip.
Salt lick. Vein of salt (somehow) in wall of cave, BRASS BATs lapping at it. If you bring salt to other parts of cave the BRASS BATs there will lick it out of your hands and it will be adorable.
Room J.
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room A (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons HEADLESS GRYPHON from another part of dungeon.
Room K.
Looks like three-way intersection. One exit actually trap, leads to immediate dead end and floor collapse. Then STONE ORCs come in and start poking you w/ sticks.
Room L.
SOUND: Sound like crunching glass or gnawing teeth. Comes from within walls.
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room M.
SMELL: Metallic tang of hour-old blood.
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room N.
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering STONE ORCs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room O.
SIGHT: Walls rough-hewn chunks of black glass, edges sharp to touch.
Old wooden chest, given wide berth by nervous, prowling STONE ORCs who are 100% certain it's a mimic. 20% chance this is true. Key to chest, even if it's a mimic, is clutched in the hand of the top half of a skeleton in room . Chest contains reasonable amount of gold, partially-chewed SILKS OF THE JUNGLE (operates at half efficiency until repaired), gnawed bottom half of skeleton. Possible if chest not mimic that it will follow PCs around dungeon fucking w/ them.
Room P.
Rallying grounds for small STONE ORC army. WAR GOLEM currently giving rousing speech to assembled phalanx, promising riches/success in afterlife to soldier that brings back the the juiciest human baby.
Room Q.
Enormous brass lever that raises/lowers water level throughout whole dungeon. There is another, similar level in room P.
Room R.
Iron portcullis, STONE ORC on other side asking substantial fee to raise it. Will slam it shut when you're directly under it to try and spike you to death. If you approach this from the other side the STONE ORC will also be on the other side, it can squeeze through the bars.
Room S.
Bemused HEADLESS GRYPHON being worshipped by bunch of prostrated STONE ORCs. 25% chance this is actually a clever trick to get close enough to kill it.
Room T.
Site of ancient battle. Hundreds of skeletons, rusted armour, shattered helms. Single, functioning DANCING DIRK somewhere in mess, but searching for it likely to disturb spirits of the dead.
Room U.
STONE ORC herdsmen squabbling over where the sweetest WHITE VINES are. Ones in room apparently not sweet enough. Herds of BRASS BATs getting bored, hungry.
Room V.
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of STONE ORC in room .
Room W.
SIGHT: Bioluminescent bacteria gleam in the walls and the dark mud of the floor.
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
One exit blocked by enormous obese STAR MANTIS, will only move if presented with still-alive captured STONE ORC or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room X.
Bubbling lake of mildly corrosive alkaline goo must be navigated via stepping stones. STAR MANTIS hidden in goo, obviously. Harmless until you get any blood in the goo, then will go into feeding frenzy.
Room Y.
SOUND: Gloop of bubbling mud.
SMELL: Air painfully dry.
STONE ORC marketplace. Stalls selling rusted-through pots, moldy fruit, actual piles of shit. Violence prohibited in marketplace, they will not hurt you as long as you stay within the prescribed boundaries and don't break any of their weird taboos.
Room Z.
SIGHT: Cobwebs in every corner.
LUBBANDA the KIND SAILOR consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a DECK OF ORDER, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by STONE ORCs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room .
Room [.
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
SMELL: Air disgustingly humid.
Couple of STONE ORCs around shallow pit, gambling on combat between trained STAR MANTIS. Intruders will be hurled into pit, but if you wait long enough the furious loser will accuse the winner of cheating and a fight will ensure.
Room \.
Panicky STONE ORC wearing obviously-stolen EARRING OF HEALING caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round FELLEGG the EXHAUSTED CHAMBERMAID, conspicuously missing EARRING OF HEALING, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room ].
Corridor lined on each side with mirrors so it looks like infinite PCs crawling through infinite dungeons. There is a mirror somewhere in room and next time you enter it you will see your reflections banging against the glass, claiming that they are the real PCs and you are just their reflections.
Room ^.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient mansion, walls are rotting wood.
Enormous crystal-clear underground lake w/ WHITE VINE growing around it, couple of BRASS BATs peacefully drinking at edges. GLASS BLUDGEON lies clearly visible at very bottom of lake, which is much deeper than it looks.
Room _.
GARLET the HELPFUL PRINCESS corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, GARLET the HELPFUL PRINCESS fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room `.
Two bridges across enormous bottomless pit. They do not intersect. Easy to go directly across, difficult to turn corners.
Room a.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient mansion, walls are rotting wood.
One path overgrown w/ WHITE VINE, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. WHITE VINEs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room b.
SMELL: Faint caramelly smell of exotic woods.
SIGHT: The roots of an ancient tree emerge from the roof.
IMPANDA the WHIMSICAL POET, wearing WIG OF FRIENDSHIP, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room c.
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. HEADLESS GRYPHON that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room d.
HEADLESS GRYPHON w/ FLAIL OF THE SWAMP stuck in it. Extremely unhappy. Someone in room z concealing serious wound, would like FLAIL OF THE SWAMP back.
Room e.
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with WHITE VINE, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged WIG OF PIERCING. STONE ORC cultists soon to return.
Room f.
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
SOUND: Hiss of steam escaping through cracks in floor.
High ledge w/ two entrances that looks out over vast lake of lava. One STONE ORC peacefully fishing w/ brass rod, wire, hook. If left alone long enough he will catch something. 50% chance of hungry lava fish, 50% chance of lava treasure.
Room g.
SOUND: Agonizingly slow waterdrip.
SMELL: Spoiled-sweet, like garbage.
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of WHITE VINES. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. WHITE VINEs carnivorous, BRASS BATs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room h.
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room , will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room i.
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
Staircase wraps around inner wall of well. One exit high up, one at water level. Water pitch black. HEADLESS GRYPHON that lives in well usually not hungry, can be roused to surface by ringing bell at very top of shaft.
Room j.
SOUND: Agonizingly slow waterdrip.
Ledge halfway up wall of big cylindrical pit-cavern, no way in, out except via entrances to ledge. HEADLESS GRYPHON trapped at bottom of pit, bleeding from a number of minor wounds. Extremely long spiked sticks for poking it with. Couple of STONE ORCs indulging in this pastime.
Room k.
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
SIGHT: Walls carved w/ ancient glyphs, adorned w/ partial mosaics.
WAR GOLEM's walk-in wardrobe. One entrance through wardrobe doors, one hidden behind layers of clothing. Careful searching will reveal a BUCKLER OF THE ELEPHANT, two living scarves that try to strangle you and a STONE ORC in fancy dress.
Room l.
Feast hall / audience chamber of underworld king. One entrance on either side of hall. WAR GOLEM in throne at end of hall hearing stream of STONE ORC petitioners.
Room m.
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
SMELL: Strangely warm, like being in a kiln.
Thick grove of WHITE VINE makes it impossible to see the other side of the room. HEADLESS GRYPHON lurks in ambush within. It has just fed and is currently in process of burying the bones of a BRASS BAT in the heavy loam of the room's floor, feeding the plants with marrow to maintain their symbiotic relationship. Still happy to kill PCs though, can always save them for later.
Room n.
SMELL: Faint breeze. Hard to tell where from, seems to change directions.
SIGHT: Walls are murky green glass. You almost feel like you can see through to the next room.
One passage being slowly walled off by STONE ORCs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep WAR GOLEM who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room o.
Corridor from abandoned prison. Walls lined w/ jail cells, most of the bars rotted away or overgrown w/ WHITE VINE. BRASS BATs nesting in cell halfway along, loose brick behind cell wall conceals POISONED BOTTLE that only works a third of the time, is haunted by ghost of WAXAS the SERVILE KING who will tell you how to fix it if you get vengeance on their jailer.
Room p.
SIGHT: Dust on every flat surface.
SMELL: Dry and musty, like mummy wrappings and black mold.
WAR GOLEM dabbling in painting, composing a still life from scene of STAR MANTIS and bones. Having trouble getting the STAR MANTIS to stay still. Has left a paint canister (turbulent green) in room , politely promises to kill you unless you go get it right now.
Room q.
WAR GOLEM is having tea party w/ nervous STONE ORCs, kidnapped PANDRICK the MUTE MATHEMATICIAN. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room r.
STONE ORC on a banjo, playing the Humanoid Blues.
Room s.
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of WHITE VINES. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. WHITE VINEs carnivorous, BRASS BATs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room t.
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room X, will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room u.
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
WAR GOLEM lowering itself to play dice w/ STONE ORC retainers. Will pretend it's condescending to let you live so long as you amuse it by joining in. Actually, not totally sure it can take you, not really in fighting mood, will throw game and say you've earned your freedom. Has CANDLE OF THE SUN, might be convinced to wager it if stakes high enough.
Room v.
Lightless oubliette. FELOPA the SINGING EMPRESS has been trapped in here for at least twenty years, some STONE ORCs coming by to feed and water them occasionally.
Room w.
One passage being slowly walled off by STONE ORCs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep WAR GOLEM who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room x.
SIGHT: Bioluminescent bacteria gleam in the walls and the dark mud of the floor.
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
Beam of light comes down from above. LANCE OF THE SWARM embedded in monolith in room's centre. Can only be removed by hand of true king, which can be found - dried, placed in wall sconce, candle placed in curled fingers, is now magical torch that reveals ghosts - in room q.
Room y.
One exit blocked by enormous obese STAR MANTIS, will only move if presented with still-alive captured STONE ORC or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room z.
SOUND: Muffled voices from next room.
SMELL: Strangely cold, like being in a meat freezer.
Terraced volcanic pools of bubbling, sulphurated water, getting warmer as you get closer to the bottom. HEADLESS GRYPHON drinking from second-lowest pool, temporarily pacified by calming effects of hot spring, will not attack unless provoked.
Room {.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room |.
SIGHT: Fetishes of bone and feathers dangle from the ceiling.
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room }.
SHIRESTER the DEVOUT SERGEANT, wearing IMMOVABLE ROBE, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room ~.
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room .
SOUND: Muffled voices from next room.
SMELL: Strangely warm, like being in a kiln.
Time moves slower the closer you get to the middle of this room. QUEEKANNY the BOASTFUL ACTOR, wearing a crown, wielding MORNINGSTAR OF THE BEAR caught in stasis at exact centre. In fact crown is cursed - you can remove it pretty easily, breaking the curse and halting the effect, but in the time it takes you several years will have passed outside. QUEEKANNY the BOASTFUL ACTOR is notorious character from history.
Room .
GARONEUS the BOASTFUL FOP, armed w/ FLAIL OF THE GOAT, on quest to kill a HEADLESS GRYPHON, which they are only semi-certain even lives in this dungeon.
Room .
Panicky STONE ORC wearing obviously-stolen GIANT'S CODPIECE caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round ZENLET the SHOUTY MONK, conspicuously missing GIANT'S CODPIECE, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room .
SMELL: Faint caramelly smell of exotic woods.
SIGHT: Walls carved w/ ancient glyphs, adorned w/ partial mosaics.
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room G (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons HEADLESS GRYPHON from another part of dungeon.
Room .
SIGHT: Ammonite, trilobite fossils visible in walls.
Lava tube. Cracks in walls, STONE ORCs compressed in spaces behind cracks. Not planning to ambush, terrified of you, want you to go away. One has a DICE OF THE BASILISK and no idea how to use it. Neither do you.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls rough-hewn chunks of black glass, edges sharp to touch.
HOBBUS the OILY EMPRESS looking for girl/boy/personfriend, who they think is being held captive by STONE ORCS. Actually came with them willingly to get away from HOBBUS the OILY EMPRESS, now rethinking it, dungeon life losing sense of mystery and grandeur. Still hates HOBBUS the OILY EMPRESS though. Is in room .
Room .
ISHASIUS the NERVOUS DUELIST attempting to domesticate BRASS BAT, with limited success. Has been reliably informed that BRASS BAT's favourite food is WHITE VINE, will pay semi-handsomely for samples.
Room .
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
SMELL: Air disgustingly humid.
Extremely steep slope. Rope required to go up, down. Your choice whether the PCs start at bottom or top. Outcropping of WHITE VINE halfway up seems like it would provide handhold, does, but also tries to eat PCs.
Room .
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of STONE ORC in room .
Room .
WAR GOLEM chained by leg or eye-stalk to centre of room. Half a dozen scabby STONE ORCs taunting and jeering it.
Room .
Smooth, round tunnel of enormous STAR MANTIS, which you will find advancing towards you when you are halfway along.
Room .
SIGHT: Flowers bloom everywhere, even where they shouldn't. Especially where they shouldn't.
SMELL: Acrid tang of goblin shit.
Clay nest of STAR MANTIS in corner. Single STONE ORC tasked w/ exterminating it, no idea where to begin, will lead you to hiding place of IVORY CORD in room if you can give it a hand. Surprisingly reliable and honest.
Room .
At least twenty doors. Most just lead into cupboards full of toxic mould, foul garderobes or empty sarcophagi. A few are unopenable, having nothing but rock behind them. GRUFWIND the INSECURE ACTOR has got themselves trapped behind one and there's a half-rotted CAPE OF THE BULL in the wardrobe behind another.
Room .
WOFRAX the MUTE ASSASSIN consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a PROPHET'S ROD, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by STONE ORCs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room z.
Room .
WAR GOLEM is having tea party w/ nervous STONE ORCs, kidnapped YASHFEN the OILY KNIGHT. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room .
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. HEADLESS GRYPHON that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room .
SMELL: Vomit.
Pool of stagnant water with treasure chest at bottom. Treasure chest contains bound, gagged OBERWEG the VENGEFUL SWINEHERD, is temporarily watertight. If released OBERWEG the VENGEFUL SWINEHERD will demand vengeance on STONE ORC in room , offer reward for assistance in this matter.
Room .
QUEEKWEPP the NERVOUS DUKE, pacing. Could swear there was a secret door somewhere along this otherwise featureless corridor (there isn't).
Room .
STONE ORC barracks-room, mostly empty. One fat STONE ORC slobberingly asleep in corner. Has DANCING HAND on string around neck.
Room .
One path overgrown w/ WHITE VINE, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. WHITE VINEs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room .
SMELL: Dry and musty, like mummy wrappings and black mold.
UDDFEN the SHOUTY ASTRONOMER impressing STONE ORCs w/ magical powers of TUNIC OF SILENCE, attempting to convince them that it is their rightful king. Will turn them on PCs if they do not show UDDFEN the SHOUTY ASTRONOMER proper signs of obeisance. STONE ORCs just humouring UDDFEN the SHOUTY ASTRONOMER, will happily play along.
Room .
SMELL: Dry and musty, like mummy wrappings and black mold.
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
Big circular room, WAR GOLEM armed with TRIDENT OF SHADOW patrolling boundaries. WAR GOLEM will not allow anyone to pass straight through crossroads. Doesn't mind you turning corners. Cheating by trying to turn two corners will be strictly punished.
Room .
SOUND: Crunch of footsteps on sand.
Apparently empty room w/ very high ceiling. Vibrations in floor disturb the nests, cause rain of STAR MANTISs. Safe to move around edges of room.
Room .
HEADLESS GRYPHON asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room .
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
CHANDESTER the CURSED PLAYWRIGHT, with broken leg, desperately trying to fend off a couple of STAR MANTIS. Is carrying GLASS POTION, which would be easier to take from their corpse.
Room .
MARDANDA the CURSED HIGHWAYMAN corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, MARDANDA the CURSED HIGHWAYMAN fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room .
Treasure room. Magnetic gates prevent you removing any gold or steel, even if you brought it in with you. SCORPION DIRK made of pure gold in hand of enormous porcelain golem. Talisman in room q deactivates gates, activates golem.
Room .
SIGHT: Ammonite, trilobite fossils visible in walls.
STONE ORCs engaging in orgiastic rite to win favour of dungeon god. Incredibly eager for you to join in.
Room .
SIGHT: Immense limestone stalactites hang from ceiling.
Enormous pile of METEOR LENSs, all exactly alike, dumped haphazardly in corner. Only one is real. The rest are clever fakes that have a 25% chance of working once and then break. Somewhere in room v is concealed the secret of finding the real one. Possibly in someone's brain.
Room .
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room .
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
Cornered, enraged, only semi-wounded HEADLESS GRYPHON preparing to unleash its ultimate attack on bunch of spear-wielding STONE ORCs who think they're doing much better than they are. If you wait you can get it before its ultimate attack recharges.
Room .
OBEROMPA the EVIL FOP, suffering catastrophic memory failure, no longer sure which way they came in. Single glowing blue mushroom in centre of room does nothing if touched. Memories leeched by prolonged exposure to its light. Eating it gives you all the memories it's absorbed.
Room .
SMELL: Air painfully dry.
SIGHT: Floor covered w/ layer of gritty sand.
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering STONE ORCs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room .
SMELL: Meaty reek of underworld flowers, like frying fat and potpourri.
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with WHITE VINE, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged GLOVES OF GOOD. STONE ORC cultists soon to return.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room .
STYFOBO the OPPORTUNISTIC BANKER consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a TOME OF THE SWARM, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by STONE ORCs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room .
Room .
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
Huge cavernous room w/ tiny campfire somewhere in middle. STONE ORCs sitting around campfire, roasting sausages, telling filthy stories.
Room .
SMELL: Metallic tang of hour-old blood.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient mansion, walls are rotting wood.
WAR GOLEM is having tea party w/ nervous STONE ORCs, kidnapped THEODLISCO the EVIL BISHOP. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room .
SOUND: Almost-subsonic warble of cave songbirds.
FLET the CURSED SALESMAN corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, FLET the CURSED SALESMAN fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room .
Looks like three-doored room. Tarnished mirror in corner will, if cleaned, show secret fourth exit in reflection. If taken to any other room it will also show a secret extra exit in that room. Secret extra exit always goes to same place, no matter where you are in the world. Overuse has chance of awakening evil reflection monsters.
Room .
SMELL: Spilt beer accumulated over decades.
Crevasse just wide enough to jump across. Darkness above. Anyone who falls in comes out of roof, keeps falling until caught. There was a huge butterfly net in room b and now you know why.
Room .
Trash midden. Not planned, just naturally developed here. Infested by tiny well-concealed STAR MANTIS. No treasure, just bits of clothing that might have been magical once but no longer are.
Room .
SMELL: Spilt beer accumulated over decades.
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
Couple of sorry-looking STONE ORCs roasting STAR MANTIS over fire. In surprisingly good mood, will share. If you get sick and pass out from the feast they will definitely kill you, but otherwise harmless.
Room .
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room .
Inverted ziggurat - steps going down to bottom of room, altar to dungeon god at lowest point. HYLDRINGO the BOASTFUL POET is tied to altar with STONE ORCs preparing to sacrifice them. Everything exactly as it seems.
Room .
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room o (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons HEADLESS GRYPHON from another part of dungeon.
Room .
Space-distorting statue in exactly-square corner of corridor. Shaking right hand will increase number of corners until corridor is mile-long side of polygon. Shaking left hand will decrease it again.
Room .
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
SMELL: Meaty reek of underworld flowers, like frying fat and potpourri.
One exit blocked by enormous obese STAR MANTIS, will only move if presented with still-alive captured STONE ORC or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room .
Apparent dead end in STONE ORC workshop. Secret door concealed beneath anvil. STONE ORC blacksmith not pleased to see you, will attack with half-forged JAVELIN OF RESISTANCE, only continue to forge it if compelled. Possibility that PCs emerge from beneath anvil.
Room .
SMELL: Faint breeze. Hard to tell where from, seems to change directions.
EDLEY the RACIST CHILD, playing the flute. Has no idea they're in a dungeon. Can see everything around them perfectly clearly, just refuses to believe it's a dungeon. Will confabulate other things it could be. Flute not magical unless you desperately need it to be.
Room .
SOUND: Chirps of cave crickets.
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room .
SOUND: Toads croaking.
Crossroads, but one exit just loops back around into the other one. Walls of loop contain shelves for entombed corpses w/ gold coins on their eyes and STAR MANTIS concealed in their flesh.
Room .
Bunch of STONE ORCs quivering in fear as you approach. HEADLESS GRYPHON followed you in, is directly behind you.
Room .
SOUND: Hiss of steam escaping through cracks in floor.
SIGHT: Flowers bloom everywhere, even where they shouldn't. Especially where they shouldn't.
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room s, will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room .
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of STONE ORC in room {.
Room .
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
Pit with STAR MANTIS lurking at bottom. V. poorly concealed. A couple of gold coins and a COLD-IRON BUCKLER in extremely poor condition gleam among the bones of a dead adventurer.
Room .
SMELL: Air disgustingly humid.
Waterfall that trickles in through crack in wall, disappears in swirling vortex into crack in earth. Tricky climb, must be made to pass room. BRASS BAT den hidden in cave behind waterfall, half-digested DUST OF HEALING in stomach of sleeping BRASS BAT.
Room .
SMELL: Acrid tang of goblin shit.
Shrine to dungeon god. Altar will curse you if you touch it unless you prepare the proper sacrifices, which consist of one ritually smothered BRASS BAT. If you do it will bless you. One STONE ORC elsewhere in dungeon is priest, knows secret to this.
Room .
SOUND: Creepy singing, like every nursery rhyme in every horror movie ever.
BRASS BATs engaged in elaborate mating ritual. Single STONE ORC watching w/ creepy intensity.
Room .
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of WHITE VINES. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. WHITE VINEs carnivorous, BRASS BATs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room .
Featureless span of corridor w/ pacing WAR GOLEM in bleak, contemplative mood, searching for reason even to live. Not aggressive until given one - then will immediately turn on PCs. Will come up w/ one on own in half hour or so.
Room .
SMELL: Spoiled-sweet, like garbage.
SIGHT: Walls carved w/ ancient glyphs, adorned w/ partial mosaics.
Stepping stones over slow-trickling underground river. Actually pretty easy to cross. BRASS BATs drinking at edges, not aggressive unless provoked. Easy to provoke though.
Room .
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering STONE ORCs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room .
THAGUS the STINKING POET, wearing HAT OF THE MORNING, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room .
Huge cavernous room w/ tiny campfire somewhere in middle. STONE ORCs sitting around campfire, roasting sausages, telling filthy stories.
Room .
Beam of light comes down from above. LANCE OF EVIL embedded in monolith in room's centre. Can only be removed by hand of true king, which can be found - dried, placed in wall sconce, candle placed in curled fingers, is now magical torch that reveals ghosts - in room .
Room .
SMELL: Faint breeze. Hard to tell where from, seems to change directions.
Spiral staircase. Young STONE ORCs sliding down bannisters. Will run away if they spot you, bring back angry parents.
Room .
Narrow bridge across swiftly-rushing underground river. Anyone who falls in will be carried out of dungeon, take bashing damage from rocks. STONE ORC ambush party clinging to underside of bridge and/or ceiling, will attack halfway across. Some kind of perception check to spot.
Room .
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room .
One path overgrown w/ WHITE VINE, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. WHITE VINEs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room .
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with WHITE VINE, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged CUIRASS OF THE PHILOSOPHER. STONE ORC cultists soon to return.
Room .
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
Almost-frictionless surface. Works like the ice puzzles in Pokemon - once you pick a direction you're stuck with it until you hit a solid surface. Dotted with menhirs. One STONE ORC w/ projectile weapon at far end of room.
Room .
BRASS BATs engaged in elaborate mating ritual. Single STONE ORC watching w/ creepy intensity.
Room .
HEADLESS GRYPHON asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room .
One of those Ripley's Believe It Or Not rooms where there's a row of mirrors along one wall and once you go around the corridor you can see through them. Couple of STONE ORCs behind mirrors making fun of PCs, will flee as they approach. If the PCs linger, MOTHOXIS the OILY PEASANT will come through on the other side of the mirrors and accidentally reveal something they would kill to keep secret.
Room .
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. HEADLESS GRYPHON that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room .
SMELL: Strangely warm, like being in a kiln.
SIGHT: Walls made of petrified wood, as if you're in the bole of a huge ancient tree.
When you look down this hallway it seems to get narrower and narrower until you reach the end, which is child-sized. When you walk down it it stays the same size but you shrink. Works very differently if there's another way around.
Room .
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient mansion, walls are rotting wood.
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
Panicky STONE ORC wearing obviously-stolen ANIMATED DOUBLET caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round MYRATHEON the INCOMPETENT SALESMAN, conspicuously missing ANIMATED DOUBLET, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room .
SIGHT: Ammonite, trilobite fossils visible in walls.
WAR GOLEM's walk-in wardrobe. One entrance through wardrobe doors, one hidden behind layers of clothing. Careful searching will reveal a HOWLING COWL, two living scarves that try to strangle you and a STONE ORC in fancy dress.
Room .
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
SOUND: Coins clinking.
Completely empty room. Or is it? Yes. Yes it is.
Room .
BRASS BAT den. Where they keep their babies. Parents not pleased to see you.
Room .
Enormous brass lever that raises/lowers water level throughout whole dungeon. There is another, similar level in room .
Room .
SMELL: Air painfully dry.
One passage being slowly walled off by STONE ORCs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep WAR GOLEM who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room .
SOUND: Hiss of steam escaping through cracks in floor.
SIGHT: Floor covered w/ layer of gritty sand.
Formerly a wizard's study. Now a breeding pair of BRASS BATs has made a nest of the spellbooks, which reveal interesting magical snippets if closely examined. Torn-up pages, gummed back together, may have produced odd new spells.
Room .
BESHEEN the CURSED PEDDLER and SONDOXIS the WHIMSICAL EXPLORER fighting for possession of a DECK OF BLOOD, each with an extremely good argument for why it is rightfully theirs. Actually they stole it from the hoard of a WAR GOLEM, who had it as a birthday present from their underworld pen pal and to whom it is of great sentimental value.
Room .
Bunch of STONE ORCs who were just pointlessly fucking sitting there waiting for something to walk in so they could attack it.
Room .
SMELL: Strangely warm, like being in a kiln.
At least twenty doors. Most just lead into cupboards full of toxic mould, foul garderobes or empty sarcophagi. A few are unopenable, having nothing but rock behind them. QUEEKLOSIA the HUMBLE CAPTAIN has got themselves trapped behind one and there's a half-rotted CHAIN OF SHADOW in the wardrobe behind another.
Room .
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room g (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons HEADLESS GRYPHON from another part of dungeon.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
GUNGFORD the SERVILE PEASANT, suffering catastrophic memory failure, no longer sure which way they came in. Single glowing blue mushroom in centre of room does nothing if touched. Memories leeched by prolonged exposure to its light. Eating it gives you all the memories it's absorbed.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls rough-hewn chunks of black glass, edges sharp to touch.
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
Looks like empty room. Actually maw of cave leviathan, those weird stalagmites its teeth. Glimmer of treasure deep in gullet is pyrite lure. BRASS BATs pick dead flesh from between teeth.
Room .
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room .
Actual dungeon, exists to hold prisoners. Guarded by pair of STONE ORCs, one sleepy, one watchful. They are siblings. Couple of human captives in pitiful condition, starving in cells. One is LUBBLEGG the ENERGETIC PIRATE.
Room .
HEADLESS GRYPHON den. Sulphuric fumes vent from somewhere deep within. Contains skeleton holding PIKE OF CHAOS, which in addition to other powers gets +2 against HEADLESS GRYPHON. 50% chance that HEADLESS GRYPHON is out. Secret way out of dungeon, big enough for monster to fit through.
Room .
Crossroads, but one exit just loops back around into the other one. Walls of loop contain shelves for entombed corpses w/ gold coins on their eyes and STAR MANTIS concealed in their flesh.
Room .
SOUND: Burble of distant river.
Observatory. Star charts, half-ground lenses, celestial globes, tables of astronomical data (looks like random numbers) and pulsar emissions. WAR GOLEM mesmerized by whatever it sees through single enormous telescope. If you broke the telescope's lens you could climb out of the dungeon through it.
Room .
STONE ORC barracks-room, mostly empty. One fat STONE ORC slobberingly asleep in corner. Has ANIMATED BOTTLE on string around neck.
Room .
SOUND: Coins clinking.
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of STONE ORC in room .
Room .
SOUND: Crunch of footsteps on sand.
FFIANA the GREEDY CHILD attempting to domesticate BRASS BAT, with limited success. Has been reliably informed that BRASS BAT's favourite food is WHITE VINE, will pay semi-handsomely for samples.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
Pool of stagnant water with treasure chest at bottom. Treasure chest contains bound, gagged MOTHWEPP the WHISPERING SENATOR, is temporarily watertight. If released MOTHWEPP the WHISPERING SENATOR will demand vengeance on STONE ORC in room s, offer reward for assistance in this matter.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
SMELL: Salty as sea-air.
Apparent dead end in STONE ORC workshop. Secret door concealed beneath anvil. STONE ORC blacksmith not pleased to see you, will attack with half-forged PIKE OF SPRING, only continue to forge it if compelled. Possibility that PCs emerge from beneath anvil.
Room .
STONE ORC games room. Mildewed cardboard boxes, rotting tomes with amusing titles like Ye Olde Playeres Handbooke. Spotty STONE ORCS hunched over reasonably flat rock playing Humans and Hamlets with dice made of bone and precious stones. One of the dice is actually lucky.
Room .
SIGHT: Fetishes of bone and feathers dangle from the ceiling.
SOUND: Chirps of cave crickets.
Long flight of marble stairs painted black and white like piano keys. Stepping on wrong stairs flattens them into slide, makes climbing extremely difficult, getting down fun. Somebody in room o knows secret pattern or it's hidden in mosaic on walls. Anyone who's a musician gets a bonus to working it out. You decide which side PCs start on.
Room .
WAR GOLEM lowering itself to play dice w/ STONE ORC retainers. Will pretend it's condescending to let you live so long as you amuse it by joining in. Actually, not totally sure it can take you, not really in fighting mood, will throw game and say you've earned your freedom. Has BRASS ELIXIR, might be convinced to wager it if stakes high enough.
Room .
Trash midden. Not planned, just naturally developed here. Infested by tiny well-concealed STAR MANTIS. No treasure, just bits of clothing that might have been magical once but no longer are.
Room .
SOUND: Almost-subsonic warble of cave songbirds.
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
Old wooden chest, given wide berth by nervous, prowling STONE ORCs who are 100% certain it's a mimic. 20% chance this is true. Key to chest, even if it's a mimic, is clutched in the hand of the top half of a skeleton in room . Chest contains reasonable amount of gold, partially-chewed CROWN OF PIERCING (operates at half efficiency until repaired), gnawed bottom half of skeleton. Possible if chest not mimic that it will follow PCs around dungeon fucking w/ them.
Room .
SOUND: Burble of distant river.
SMELL: Air disgustingly humid.
Couple of STONE ORCs around shallow pit, gambling on combat between trained STAR MANTIS. Intruders will be hurled into pit, but if you wait long enough the furious loser will accuse the winner of cheating and a fight will ensure.
Room .
Space is bent in such a way that walking down this tunnel will bring you out in room .
Room .
SIGHT: Walls are murky green glass. You almost feel like you can see through to the next room.
Couple of sorry-looking STONE ORCs roasting STAR MANTIS over fire. In surprisingly good mood, will share. If you get sick and pass out from the feast they will definitely kill you, but otherwise harmless.
Room .
SIGHT: Dust on every flat surface.
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
Spiral staircase. Young STONE ORCs sliding down bannisters. Will run away if they spot you, bring back angry parents.
Room .
Enormous mirror is scrying-portal to alternate realms. WAR GOLEM getting stern lecture from overboss in Plane of Chaos/other, better dungeon/Hell, will shortly emerge in extremely foul mood. If there is a mirror anywhere else in the dungeon this mirror will let you look out of it.
Room .
SMELL: Humans being cooked. Indistinguishable from roast pork except to trained noses.
SOUND: Whistling of underworld wind from cracks in wall.
Map room. Globes, nautical charts, atlases, blueprints, guidebooks. WAR GOLEM studying X-marked plan of faraway island, so enthralled that it has difficulty noticing PCs. Exquisite rug on room's floor seems like abstract pattern, careful study reveals it to be map of dungeon itself.
Room .
SMELL: Meaty reek of underworld flowers, like frying fat and potpourri.
Hideout for rebellious STONE ORCs, unwilling to recognize authority of WAR GOLEM, want to establish tiny republic in forgotten dungeon crevice.
Room .
Enormous crystal-clear underground lake w/ WHITE VINE growing around it, couple of BRASS BATs peacefully drinking at edges. BOLTS OF SHADOW lies clearly visible at very bottom of lake, which is much deeper than it looks.
Room .
Waterfall that trickles in through crack in wall, disappears in swirling vortex into crack in earth. Tricky climb, must be made to pass room. BRASS BAT den hidden in cave behind waterfall, half-digested DRUM OF TRICKERY in stomach of sleeping BRASS BAT.
Room .
WAR GOLEM laboratory. Weird hybrid things bubble away in glass tanks. At least one attempted crossbreed between STONE ORC and BRASS BAT. WAR GOLEM not there. THAGAMBRA the WHISTLING SOLDIER pretends to be experimental captive, is actually willing lab assistant.
Room .
Bedchamber of three, four STONE ORCs. Sodden and filthy. Careful inspection of damp rags that serve as bedding will reveal a(n) DUST OF COMMAND in surprisingly good condition, but forces save against filth fever.
Room .
STONE ORCs in flimsy tin-pan armour, wielding long pointy sticks, riding poorly-tamed BRASS BATs, practicing jousting.
Room .
Salt lick. Vein of salt (somehow) in wall of cave, BRASS BATs lapping at it. If you bring salt to other parts of cave the BRASS BATs there will lick it out of your hands and it will be adorable.
Room .
SIGHT: Flowers bloom everywhere, even where they shouldn't. Especially where they shouldn't.
SMELL: Strangely warm, like being in a kiln.
Single enormous carnivorous WHITE VINE that is secretly intelligent and the mastermind behind everything that happens in this dungeon.
Room .
Single incredibly-intelligent STONE ORC has found only space in dungeon where it is possible to just sit and think. If left to own devices will rule own kingdom on surface world in ~10 years.
Room .
SOUND: Howling laughter, swiftly fades to nothing.
WAR GOLEM bedchamber. Four-poster bed, priceless paintings kidnapped from world are hung on walls and artistically befouled. Fairy kept in cage as singing nightlight begs release, claims to be able to grant wishes, can't. Golden key to cage discarded in room , WAR GOLEM concluded they will never need it. Cage highly portable, otherwise unbreakable.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls made of petrified wood, as if you're in the bole of a huge ancient tree.
HYLDULIA the OBSEQUIOUS SWINEHERD, armed w/ SLING OF TRUTH, on quest to kill a HEADLESS GRYPHON, which they are only semi-certain even lives in this dungeon.
Room .
Completely empty room. Or is it? Yes. Yes it is.
Room .
Vertical shaft w/ rope hanging from ceiling, goes two-thirds of way to floor.
Room .
BRASS BAT den. Where they keep their babies. Parents not pleased to see you.
Room .
SMELL: Air painfully dry.
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
Hideout for rebellious STONE ORCs, unwilling to recognize authority of WAR GOLEM, want to establish tiny republic in forgotten dungeon crevice.
Room .
Actual dungeon, exists to hold prisoners. Guarded by pair of STONE ORCs, one sleepy, one watchful. They are siblings. Couple of human captives in pitiful condition, starving in cells. One is ARBMAEL the FORGETFUL MATHEMATICIAN.
Room .
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
Hall of statues that look exactly like HEADLESS GRYPHON. One of them is hollow and filled with STAR MANTIS.
Room .
Map room. Globes, nautical charts, atlases, blueprints, guidebooks. WAR GOLEM studying X-marked plan of faraway island, so enthralled that it has difficulty noticing PCs. Exquisite rug on room's floor seems like abstract pattern, careful study reveals it to be map of dungeon itself.