Building 191 rooms

HUNCHBACK PLUM:   PLANT
ANTI-LEVIATHAN: MONSTER
HISSING LARVAE: VERMIN
SALT SATYR: HUMANOID
DIRE HAG: BOSS
CANNIBAL PANTHER: CRITTER


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-- Z--V----------
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---- t--r--p--c--[--U--F--E--L w --
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Room A.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room B.
SOUND: Coins clinking.
SIGHT: Floor covered w/ layer of gritty sand.
Trash midden. Not planned, just naturally developed here. Infested by tiny well-concealed HISSING LARVAE. No treasure, just bits of clothing that might have been magical once but no longer are.
Room C.
When you look down this hallway it seems to get narrower and narrower until you reach the end, which is child-sized. When you walk down it it stays the same size but you shrink. Works very differently if there's another way around.
Room D.
SIGHT: Walls are sandstone, gritty when you touch them.
IMPETLANTA the HELPFUL PEDDLER, suffering catastrophic memory failure, no longer sure which way they came in. Single glowing blue mushroom in centre of room does nothing if touched. Memories leeched by prolonged exposure to its light. Eating it gives you all the memories it's absorbed.
Room E.
Site of ancient battle. Hundreds of skeletons, rusted armour, shattered helms. Single, functioning WAND OF THE PHOENIX somewhere in mess, but searching for it likely to disturb spirits of the dead.
Room F.
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient mansion, walls are rotting wood.
Circular room. When you enter all the doors slam shut, it spins around faster and faster until you don't know which way you're facing, save or be nauseated then roll 1d4 for direction you leave in. Square hole in centre, square wooden peg hidden in room can lock it in place.
Room G.
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room H.
SOUND: Whistling of underworld wind from cracks in wall.
Beam of light comes down from above. HALBERD OF LIGHT embedded in monolith in room's centre. Can only be removed by hand of true king, which can be found - dried, placed in wall sconce, candle placed in curled fingers, is now magical torch that reveals ghosts - in room .
Room I.
SIGHT: Immense limestone stalactites hang from ceiling.
SMELL: Air disgustingly humid.
ANTI-LEVIATHAN w/ DIRK OF THE FOREST stuck in it. Extremely unhappy. Someone in room concealing serious wound, would like DIRK OF THE FOREST back.
Room J.
Panicky SALT SATYR wearing obviously-stolen ELVEN GLOVES caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round VOLAERYS the VENGEFUL MERCHANT, conspicuously missing ELVEN GLOVES, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room K.
Lava tube. Cracks in walls, SALT SATYRs compressed in spaces behind cracks. Not planning to ambush, terrified of you, want you to go away. One has a PIRATE'S CORD and no idea how to use it. Neither do you.
Room L.
SOUND: Almost-subsonic warble of cave songbirds.
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with HUNCHBACK PLUM, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged SANDALS OF THE DJINN. SALT SATYR cultists soon to return.
Room M.
SMELL: Zoosmell, like pressing your face to a tiger and inhaling.
Waterfall that trickles in through crack in wall, disappears in swirling vortex into crack in earth. Tricky climb, must be made to pass room. CANNIBAL PANTHER den hidden in cave behind waterfall, half-digested DUST OF TRICKERY in stomach of sleeping CANNIBAL PANTHER.
Room N.
Big circular room, DIRE HAG armed with WAND OF THE NIGHT patrolling boundaries. DIRE HAG will not allow anyone to pass straight through crossroads. Doesn't mind you turning corners. Cheating by trying to turn two corners will be strictly punished.
Room O.
SIGHT: Walls made of petrified wood, as if you're in the bole of a huge ancient tree.
Apparent dead end in SALT SATYR workshop. Secret door concealed beneath anvil. SALT SATYR blacksmith not pleased to see you, will attack with half-forged TALKING SLING, only continue to forge it if compelled. Possibility that PCs emerge from beneath anvil.
Room P.
DAENFEN the OBESE BEGGAR corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, DAENFEN the OBESE BEGGAR fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room Q.
SIGHT: Bioluminescent bacteria gleam in the walls and the dark mud of the floor.
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
PANDLANTA the MOROSE CAPTAIN consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a WOODEN TOTEM, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by SALT SATYRs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room J.
Room R.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient mansion, walls are rotting wood.
ANTI-LEVIATHAN asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room S.
Pit with HISSING LARVAE lurking at bottom. V. poorly concealed. A couple of gold coins and a ANGEL'S CROWN in extremely poor condition gleam among the bones of a dead adventurer.
Room T.
Feast hall / audience chamber of underworld king. One entrance on either side of hall. DIRE HAG in throne at end of hall hearing stream of SALT SATYR petitioners.
Room U.
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room m, will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room V.
SOUND: Sound like crunching glass or gnawing teeth. Comes from within walls.
Dungeon oasis. Lake of pure water, grove of HUNCHBACK PLUM, CANNIBAL PANTHERs and SALT SATYRs drinking together in peace. If you start a fight here everyone in the dungeon will find out about it and regard you with unremitting hostility forever.
Room W.
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
DIRE HAG chained by leg or eye-stalk to centre of room. Half a dozen scabby SALT SATYRs taunting and jeering it.
Room X.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient mansion, walls are rotting wood.
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
Thick grove of HUNCHBACK PLUM makes it impossible to see the other side of the room. ANTI-LEVIATHAN lurks in ambush within. It has just fed and is currently in process of burying the bones of a CANNIBAL PANTHER in the heavy loam of the room's floor, feeding the plants with marrow to maintain their symbiotic relationship. Still happy to kill PCs though, can always save them for later.
Room Y.
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
CHANDLANTA the HELPFUL SAILOR, armed w/ KATANA OF LEVITATION, on quest to kill a ANTI-LEVIATHAN, which they are only semi-certain even lives in this dungeon.
Room Z.
SIGHT: Fetishes of bone and feathers dangle from the ceiling.
DIRE HAG is having tea party w/ nervous SALT SATYRs, kidnapped AMAFOMPA the STARVING WIZARD. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room [.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
SMELL: Air painfully dry.
Cube-shaped room w/ square sliding puzzle on plinth in centre. Fetching missing piece from room M and solving puzzle will completely reconfigure dungeon, reality around PCs. Roll a new dungeon, place PCs in random room.
Room \.
One passage being slowly walled off by SALT SATYRs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep DIRE HAG who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room ].
Stepping stones over slow-trickling underground river. Actually pretty easy to cross. CANNIBAL PANTHERs drinking at edges, not aggressive unless provoked. Easy to provoke though.
Room ^.
Staircase wraps around inner wall of well. One exit high up, one at water level. Water pitch black. ANTI-LEVIATHAN that lives in well usually not hungry, can be roused to surface by ringing bell at very top of shaft.
Room _.
Crevasse just wide enough to jump across. Darkness above. Anyone who falls in comes out of roof, keeps falling until caught. There was a huge butterfly net in room and now you know why.
Room `.
SOUND: Howling laughter, swiftly fades to nothing.
SALT SATYR herdsmen squabbling over where the sweetest HUNCHBACK PLUMS are. Ones in room apparently not sweet enough. Herds of CANNIBAL PANTHERs getting bored, hungry.
Room a.
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room b.
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of SALT SATYR in room x.
Room c.
One exit blocked by enormous obese HISSING LARVAE, will only move if presented with still-alive captured SALT SATYR or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room d.
Almost-frictionless surface. Works like the ice puzzles in Pokemon - once you pick a direction you're stuck with it until you hit a solid surface. Dotted with menhirs. One SALT SATYR w/ projectile weapon at far end of room.
Room e.
SMELL: Strangely cold, like being in a meat freezer.
SOUND: Burble of distant river.
Inverted ziggurat - steps going down to bottom of room, altar to dungeon god at lowest point. FAXAS the CRUEL COURTIER is tied to altar with SALT SATYRs preparing to sacrifice them. Everything exactly as it seems.
Room f.
SALT SATYRs in flimsy tin-pan armour, wielding long pointy sticks, riding poorly-tamed CANNIBAL PANTHERs, practicing jousting.
Room g.
SHIRRINGO the CHEERFUL HUNTER, wearing GHOST EARRING, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room h.
Rallying grounds for small SALT SATYR army. DIRE HAG currently giving rousing speech to assembled phalanx, promising riches/success in afterlife to soldier that brings back the the juiciest human baby.
Room i.
IMPETRICK the OILY THIEF, pacing. Could swear there was a secret door somewhere along this otherwise featureless corridor (there isn't).
Room j.
Smooth, round tunnel of enormous HISSING LARVAE, which you will find advancing towards you when you are halfway along.
Room k.
At least twenty doors. Most just lead into cupboards full of toxic mould, foul garderobes or empty sarcophagi. A few are unopenable, having nothing but rock behind them. WOFAMPER the DEAF ASTRONOMER has got themselves trapped behind one and there's a half-rotted +2 VEST in the wardrobe behind another.
Room l.
Completely empty room. Or is it? Yes. Yes it is.
Room m.
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons ANTI-LEVIATHAN from another part of dungeon.
Room n.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering SALT SATYRs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room o.
SIGHT: Extremely high ceiling narrows to tiny skylight.
DIRE HAG dabbling in painting, composing a still life from scene of HISSING LARVAE and bones. Having trouble getting the HISSING LARVAE to stay still. Has left a paint canister (turbulent green) in room , politely promises to kill you unless you go get it right now.
Room p.
Time moves slower the closer you get to the middle of this room. SHIROO the OILY PALADIN, wearing a crown, wielding +1 HALBERD caught in stasis at exact centre. In fact crown is cursed - you can remove it pretty easily, breaking the curse and halting the effect, but in the time it takes you several years will have passed outside. SHIROO the OILY PALADIN is notorious character from history.
Room q.
SIGHT: Dust on every flat surface.
Old wooden chest, given wide berth by nervous, prowling SALT SATYRs who are 100% certain it's a mimic. 20% chance this is true. Key to chest, even if it's a mimic, is clutched in the hand of the top half of a skeleton in room . Chest contains reasonable amount of gold, partially-chewed BRACELET OF LIGHTNING (operates at half efficiency until repaired), gnawed bottom half of skeleton. Possible if chest not mimic that it will follow PCs around dungeon fucking w/ them.
Room r.
Apparently empty room w/ very high ceiling. Vibrations in floor disturb the nests, cause rain of HISSING LARVAEs. Safe to move around edges of room.
Room s.
Vertical shaft w/ rope hanging from ceiling, goes two-thirds of way to floor.
Room t.
SIGHT: Ammonite, trilobite fossils visible in walls.
Enormous pile of HORN OF THE DEADs, all exactly alike, dumped haphazardly in corner. Only one is real. The rest are clever fakes that have a 25% chance of working once and then break. Somewhere in room A is concealed the secret of finding the real one. Possibly in someone's brain.
Room u.
MARDAERYS the MASKED PEDDLER looking for girl/boy/personfriend, who they think is being held captive by SALT SATYRS. Actually came with them willingly to get away from MARDAERYS the MASKED PEDDLER, now rethinking it, dungeon life losing sense of mystery and grandeur. Still hates MARDAERYS the MASKED PEDDLER though. Is in room .
Room v.
ZENLEGG the INSECURE SAILOR impressing SALT SATYRs w/ magical powers of BELT OF CHAOS, attempting to convince them that it is their rightful king. Will turn them on PCs if they do not show ZENLEGG the INSECURE SAILOR proper signs of obeisance. SALT SATYRs just humouring ZENLEGG the INSECURE SAILOR, will happily play along.
Room w.
SIGHT: There is a mirror in this room. It's not magical or special, it's an ordinary mirror.
Iron portcullis, SALT SATYR on other side asking substantial fee to raise it. Will slam it shut when you're directly under it to try and spike you to death. If you approach this from the other side the SALT SATYR will also be on the other side, it can squeeze through the bars.
Room x.
SOUND: Creepy singing, like every nursery rhyme in every horror movie ever.
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
Couple of sorry-looking SALT SATYRs roasting HISSING LARVAE over fire. In surprisingly good mood, will share. If you get sick and pass out from the feast they will definitely kill you, but otherwise harmless.
Room y.
SIGHT: Floor covered w/ layer of gritty sand.
SMELL: Strangely cold, like being in a meat freezer.
Hall of statues that look exactly like ANTI-LEVIATHAN. One of them is hollow and filled with HISSING LARVAE.
Room z.
Two bridges across enormous bottomless pit. They do not intersect. Easy to go directly across, difficult to turn corners.
Room {.
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. ANTI-LEVIATHAN that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room |.
SIGHT: Bioluminescent bacteria gleam in the walls and the dark mud of the floor.
Huge cavernous room w/ tiny campfire somewhere in middle. SALT SATYRs sitting around campfire, roasting sausages, telling filthy stories.
Room }.
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room ~.
Bunch of SALT SATYRs quivering in fear as you approach. ANTI-LEVIATHAN followed you in, is directly behind you.
Room .
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of HUNCHBACK PLUMS. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. HUNCHBACK PLUMs carnivorous, CANNIBAL PANTHERs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room .
SOUND: Coins clinking.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient mansion, walls are rotting wood.
One path overgrown w/ HUNCHBACK PLUM, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. HUNCHBACK PLUMs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room .
SIGHT: Ammonite, trilobite fossils visible in walls.
SMELL: Strangely warm, like being in a kiln.
Looks like three-doored room. Tarnished mirror in corner will, if cleaned, show secret fourth exit in reflection. If taken to any other room it will also show a secret extra exit in that room. Secret extra exit always goes to same place, no matter where you are in the world. Overuse has chance of awakening evil reflection monsters.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls are sandstone, gritty when you touch them.
JULDRINGO the RUDE DUELIST corners you, demands that you answer their riddles to determine which of the paths before you is true and which is false. One path conceals a swinging-blade trap, JULDRINGO the RUDE DUELIST fully aware of where this is and how to circumvent it.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls rough-hewn chunks of black glass, edges sharp to touch.
Clay nest of HISSING LARVAE in corner. Single SALT SATYR tasked w/ exterminating it, no idea where to begin, will lead you to hiding place of CORD OF THE GOAT in room if you can give it a hand. Surprisingly reliable and honest.
Room .
Corridor from abandoned prison. Walls lined w/ jail cells, most of the bars rotted away or overgrown w/ HUNCHBACK PLUM. CANNIBAL PANTHERs nesting in cell halfway along, loose brick behind cell wall conceals TELEPORT STONE that only works a third of the time, is haunted by ghost of HYLDOTH the WHIMSICAL TORTURER who will tell you how to fix it if you get vengeance on their jailer.
Room .
Long flight of marble stairs painted black and white like piano keys. Stepping on wrong stairs flattens them into slide, makes climbing extremely difficult, getting down fun. Somebody in room knows secret pattern or it's hidden in mosaic on walls. Anyone who's a musician gets a bonus to working it out. You decide which side PCs start on.
Room .
PANDWEND the NERVOUS WIZARD, wearing HELM OF THE RAVEN, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room .
SIGHT: Cobwebs in every corner.
SMELL: Humans being cooked. Indistinguishable from roast pork except to trained noses.
Narrow bridge across swiftly-rushing underground river. Anyone who falls in will be carried out of dungeon, take bashing damage from rocks. SALT SATYR ambush party clinging to underside of bridge and/or ceiling, will attack halfway across. Some kind of perception check to spot.
Room .
SOUND: Gloop of bubbling mud.
CANNIBAL PANTHERs engaged in elaborate mating ritual. Single SALT SATYR watching w/ creepy intensity.
Room .
One exit blocked by enormous obese HISSING LARVAE, will only move if presented with still-alive captured SALT SATYR or enormous quantity of garbage.
Room .
SIGHT: Extremely high ceiling narrows to tiny skylight.
Bemused ANTI-LEVIATHAN being worshipped by bunch of prostrated SALT SATYRs. 25% chance this is actually a clever trick to get close enough to kill it.
Room .
One path overgrown w/ HUNCHBACK PLUM, one dry and barren, one littered w/ skeletons. HUNCHBACK PLUMs carnivorous, practiced in throwing bones across room for no other reason that they can't digest them and find them unseemly.
Room .
Space-distorting statue in exactly-square corner of corridor. Shaking right hand will increase number of corners until corridor is mile-long side of polygon. Shaking left hand will decrease it again.
Room .
Big wooden door halfway along corridor locked as fuck. Key in possession of SALT SATYR in room R.
Room .
SALT SATYR marketplace. Stalls selling rusted-through pots, moldy fruit, actual piles of shit. Violence prohibited in marketplace, they will not hurt you as long as you stay within the prescribed boundaries and don't break any of their weird taboos.
Room .
Dungeon cenote. Sides overgrown with HUNCHBACK PLUM, climbdownable. Beautiful turquoise blue water. Bioluminescent bacteria intelligent, psychic, capable of projecting terrifyingly potent hallucinations/activating devotional centre of brain to make you think you see God. Bottom of cenote littered w/ human skeletons from sacrifices. Bacteria feed off flesh. One exit through underwater tunnel, skeleton in tunnel clutches bag of diamond dust and wears water-damaged THIEF'S NECKLACE. SALT SATYR cultists soon to return.
Room .
Single enormous HUNCHBACK PLUM growing up towards skylight in very top of room. HISSING LARVAE nesting in roots.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
Couple of SALT SATYRs around shallow pit, gambling on combat between trained HISSING LARVAE. Intruders will be hurled into pit, but if you wait long enough the furious loser will accuse the winner of cheating and a fight will ensure.
Room .
ANTI-LEVIATHAN asleep in centre of irregular room, can only be squeezed round w/ difficulty.
Room .
One of those Ripley's Believe It Or Not rooms where there's a row of mirrors along one wall and once you go around the corridor you can see through them. Couple of SALT SATYRs behind mirrors making fun of PCs, will flee as they approach. If the PCs linger, MYRISSON the JOLLY TINSMITH will come through on the other side of the mirrors and accidentally reveal something they would kill to keep secret.
Room .
SOUND: Almost-subsonic warble of cave songbirds.
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room .
Ledge halfway up wall of big cylindrical pit-cavern, no way in, out except via entrances to ledge. ANTI-LEVIATHAN trapped at bottom of pit, bleeding from a number of minor wounds. Extremely long spiked sticks for poking it with. Couple of SALT SATYRs indulging in this pastime.
Room .
SOUKRINGO the DEVOUT FOP, playing the flute. Has no idea they're in a dungeon. Can see everything around them perfectly clearly, just refuses to believe it's a dungeon. Will confabulate other things it could be. Flute not magical unless you desperately need it to be.
Room .
SMELL: Spoiled-sweet, like garbage.
DIRE HAG is having tea party w/ nervous SALT SATYRs, kidnapped HOBBFIANA the INSECURE BARD. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room .
SOUND: Toads croaking.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room .
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
SMELL: Faint caramelly smell of exotic woods.
DIRE HAG lowering itself to play dice w/ SALT SATYR retainers. Will pretend it's condescending to let you live so long as you amuse it by joining in. Actually, not totally sure it can take you, not really in fighting mood, will throw game and say you've earned your freedom. Has DECK OF THE DESERT, might be convinced to wager it if stakes high enough.
Room .
Terraced volcanic pools of bubbling, sulphurated water, getting warmer as you get closer to the bottom. ANTI-LEVIATHAN drinking from second-lowest pool, temporarily pacified by calming effects of hot spring, will not attack unless provoked.
Room .
SMELL: Air disgustingly humid.
Treasure room. Magnetic gates prevent you removing any gold or steel, even if you brought it in with you. DIRK OF THE LICH made of pure gold in hand of enormous porcelain golem. Talisman in room deactivates gates, activates golem.
Room .
SMELL: Vomit.
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room .
SALT SATYR barracks-room, mostly empty. One fat SALT SATYR slobberingly asleep in corner. Has FIGURINE OF THE EVENING on string around neck.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
Corridor lined on each side with mirrors so it looks like infinite PCs crawling through infinite dungeons. There is a mirror somewhere in room and next time you enter it you will see your reflections banging against the glass, claiming that they are the real PCs and you are just their reflections.
Room .
SALT SATYRs engaging in orgiastic rite to win favour of dungeon god. Incredibly eager for you to join in.
Room .
Beautiful woman made of glass, living in pit of liquid glass. Can see future with 95% accuracy. No particular reason to help PCs, but would rather like to get her hands on fragile glass chalice in room (she'll eat it). Would be worth a lot if somehow extracted from dungeon and sold as artwork. Scream is like damp fingertip on rim of wineglass, summons ANTI-LEVIATHAN from another part of dungeon.
Room .
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering SALT SATYRs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room .
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
SIGHT: The roots of an ancient tree emerge from the roof.
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of HUNCHBACK PLUMS. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. HUNCHBACK PLUMs carnivorous, CANNIBAL PANTHERs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room .
SALT SATYR on a banjo, playing the Humanoid Blues.
Room .
SALT SATYR marketplace. Stalls selling rusted-through pots, moldy fruit, actual piles of shit. Violence prohibited in marketplace, they will not hurt you as long as you stay within the prescribed boundaries and don't break any of their weird taboos.
Room .
SIGHT: There is a mirror in this room. It's not magical or special, it's an ordinary mirror.
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. ANTI-LEVIATHAN that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room .
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room , will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room .
SMELL: Faint breeze. Hard to tell where from, seems to change directions.
Extremely steep slope. Rope required to go up, down. Your choice whether the PCs start at bottom or top. Outcropping of HUNCHBACK PLUM halfway up seems like it would provide handhold, does, but also tries to eat PCs.
Room .
One passage being slowly walled off by SALT SATYRs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep DIRE HAG who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room .
Crossroads, but one exit just loops back around into the other one. Walls of loop contain shelves for entombed corpses w/ gold coins on their eyes and HISSING LARVAE concealed in their flesh.
Room .
WOFOBO the DEAF PAINTER consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a POTION OF FEAR, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by SALT SATYRs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room .
Room .
SOUND: Dead silence. Even your voices muffled.
Panicky SALT SATYR wearing obviously-stolen VEIL OF THE BULL caught at fork in road, not sure which way to go. In one round SOUKLOSIA the JOLLY GARDENER, conspicuously missing VEIL OF THE BULL, will emerge on scene and demand it back.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes to an absurd degree.
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
Featureless span of corridor w/ pacing DIRE HAG in bleak, contemplative mood, searching for reason even to live. Not aggressive until given one - then will immediately turn on PCs. Will come up w/ one on own in half hour or so.
Room .
Inverted ziggurat - steps going down to bottom of room, altar to dungeon god at lowest point. BRODWEND the ENERGETIC BARD is tied to altar with SALT SATYRs preparing to sacrifice them. Everything exactly as it seems.
Room .
Two statues. One always tells lies, one always tells the truth. They only know things that statues would know. None of the passages out of this room are trapped or dangerous in any way.
Room .
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
Narrow bridge across swiftly-rushing underground river. Anyone who falls in will be carried out of dungeon, take bashing damage from rocks. SALT SATYR ambush party clinging to underside of bridge and/or ceiling, will attack halfway across. Some kind of perception check to spot.
Room .
Looks like three-way intersection. One exit actually trap, leads to immediate dead end and floor collapse. Then SALT SATYRs come in and start poking you w/ sticks.
Room .
SOUND: Gloop of bubbling mud.
SMELL: Acrid tang of goblin shit.
One passage being slowly walled off by SALT SATYRs under supervision of cranky, half-asleep DIRE HAG who is enforcing compliance w/ threat of physical violence, eternal torment.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
DIRE HAG's walk-in wardrobe. One entrance through wardrobe doors, one hidden behind layers of clothing. Careful searching will reveal a COWL OF RESISTANCE, two living scarves that try to strangle you and a SALT SATYR in fancy dress.
Room .
Bubbling lake of mildly corrosive alkaline goo must be navigated via stepping stones. HISSING LARVAE hidden in goo, obviously. Harmless until you get any blood in the goo, then will go into feeding frenzy.
Room .
SMELL: Spilt beer accumulated over decades.
SIGHT: Dust on every flat surface.
Extremely steep slope. Rope required to go up, down. Your choice whether the PCs start at bottom or top. Outcropping of HUNCHBACK PLUM halfway up seems like it would provide handhold, does, but also tries to eat PCs.
Room .
Corridor lined on each side with mirrors so it looks like infinite PCs crawling through infinite dungeons. There is a mirror somewhere in room and next time you enter it you will see your reflections banging against the glass, claiming that they are the real PCs and you are just their reflections.
Room .
Pool of stagnant water with treasure chest at bottom. Treasure chest contains bound, gagged SHIRLER the PEDANTIC DUELIST, is temporarily watertight. If released SHIRLER the PEDANTIC DUELIST will demand vengeance on SALT SATYR in room , offer reward for assistance in this matter.
Room .
Rope bridge across underground lake. Third exit at water level, can be accessed by diving into water, but you'll want some plan for getting out again. ANTI-LEVIATHAN that lives in lake usually not hungry.
Room .
Room shaped like inside of tetrahedron. Anyone standing in etched circle in room's centre teleported to random other room of dungeon. Can be controlled by fetching tetrahedronal crystal in room , will grant access to secret treasure chamber w/ no doors leading to it. Someone has to stay behind to teleport you out again.
Room .
SIGHT: Extremely high ceiling narrows to tiny skylight.
SYGGWEND the BLIND BANKER consulting beautifully-drawn, inaccurate dungeon map. They are looking for a PAINTBRUSH OF THE CRAB, an heirloom of their family, which was stolen by SALT SATYRs and is now hidden in a filth-crusted sack somewhere in room .
Room .
Seems like straight corridor. Really obvious secret doors spaced out at five-metre intervals along corridor - loose bricks, bookshelves w/ books sticking out, candlesticks on funny angles, etc. All just spray acid except one.
Room .
SMELL: Stagnant air and decay.
SIGHT: The roots of an ancient tree emerge from the roof.
Hall lined w/ oil paintings of forgotten aristocracy. Some have been defaced. Cursory knowledge of local history will tell you which conceals secret door.
Room .
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
SIGHT: Walls are sandstone, gritty when you touch them.
Enormous brass lever that raises/lowers water level throughout whole dungeon. There is another, similar level in room .
Room .
Enormous crystal-clear underground lake w/ HUNCHBACK PLUM growing around it, couple of CANNIBAL PANTHERs peacefully drinking at edges. GLAIVE OF THE TITANS lies clearly visible at very bottom of lake, which is much deeper than it looks.
Room .
Lava tube. Cracks in walls, SALT SATYRs compressed in spaces behind cracks. Not planning to ambush, terrified of you, want you to go away. One has a UNGUENT OF STRENGTH and no idea how to use it. Neither do you.
Room .
Mechanical platform that takes you from top of shaft to bottom of shaft w/ ease. Third exit halfway up shaft, goes by too quickly to jump to. Each time you use it, 25% chance that tinkering SALT SATYRs will jam the platform just below the third exit and attack from above.
Room .
Single incredibly-intelligent SALT SATYR has found only space in dungeon where it is possible to just sit and think. If left to own devices will rule own kingdom on surface world in ~10 years.
Room .
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
High ledge w/ two entrances that looks out over vast lake of lava. One SALT SATYR peacefully fishing w/ brass rod, wire, hook. If left alone long enough he will catch something. 50% chance of hungry lava fish, 50% chance of lava treasure.
Room .
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
TETHOO the BLIND SCHOLAR, wearing CUIRASS OF THE SEA, meditating atop stone pillar to unlock its full power, which they intend to use to conquer world.
Room .
SOUND: Every noise echoes precisely once.
Stepping stones over slow-trickling underground river. Actually pretty easy to cross. CANNIBAL PANTHERs drinking at edges, not aggressive unless provoked. Easy to provoke though.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls rough-hewn chunks of black glass, edges sharp to touch.
Feast hall / audience chamber of underworld king. One entrance on either side of hall. DIRE HAG in throne at end of hall hearing stream of SALT SATYR petitioners.
Room .
SMELL: Strangely warm, like being in a kiln.
DIRE HAG is having tea party w/ nervous SALT SATYRs, kidnapped UDDLET the VENGEFUL EXPLORER. Will insist that you join it. Will murder people for impoliteness, reward proper etiquette w/ fine and expensive cakes.
Room .
SIGHT: The roots of an ancient tree emerge from the roof.
Circular room. When you enter all the doors slam shut, it spins around faster and faster until you don't know which way you're facing, save or be nauseated then roll 1d4 for direction you leave in. Square hole in centre, square wooden peg hidden in room v can lock it in place.
Room .
IMPETIA the CREEPY ASSASSIN attempting to domesticate CANNIBAL PANTHER, with limited success. Has been reliably informed that CANNIBAL PANTHER's favourite food is HUNCHBACK PLUM, will pay semi-handsomely for samples.
Room .
Long flight of marble stairs painted black and white like piano keys. Stepping on wrong stairs flattens them into slide, makes climbing extremely difficult, getting down fun. Somebody in room knows secret pattern or it's hidden in mosaic on walls. Anyone who's a musician gets a bonus to working it out. You decide which side PCs start on.
Room .
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
Single enormous carnivorous HUNCHBACK PLUM that is secretly intelligent and the mastermind behind everything that happens in this dungeon.
Room .
SOUND: Almost-subsonic warble of cave songbirds.
WOFULIA the WHIMSICAL DUELIST and IMPION the MUTE SENATOR fighting for possession of a SPIDER STONE, each with an extremely good argument for why it is rightfully theirs. Actually they stole it from the hoard of a DIRE HAG, who had it as a birthday present from their underworld pen pal and to whom it is of great sentimental value.
Room .
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
When you look down this hallway it seems to get narrower and narrower until you reach the end, which is child-sized. When you walk down it it stays the same size but you shrink. Works very differently if there's another way around.
Room .
SMELL: Zoosmell, like pressing your face to a tiger and inhaling.
SIGHT: Empty, rusted iron cages hang from hooks in the wall.
GARONIA the TRAITOROUS SALESMAN, with broken leg, desperately trying to fend off a couple of HISSING LARVAE. Is carrying THIEF'S OCARINA, which would be easier to take from their corpse.
Room .
SMELL: Dry and musty, like mummy wrappings and black mold.
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
Spiral staircase. Young SALT SATYRs sliding down bannisters. Will run away if they spot you, bring back angry parents.
Room .
SOUND: Toads croaking.
SMELL: Delicious stew boiling. The more you sniff at it the more it changes to rotting flesh.
Rallying grounds for small SALT SATYR army. DIRE HAG currently giving rousing speech to assembled phalanx, promising riches/success in afterlife to soldier that brings back the the juiciest human baby.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls are murky green glass. You almost feel like you can see through to the next room.
Salt lick. Vein of salt (somehow) in wall of cave, CANNIBAL PANTHERs lapping at it. If you bring salt to other parts of cave the CANNIBAL PANTHERs there will lick it out of your hands and it will be adorable.
Room .
ANTI-LEVIATHAN den. Sulphuric fumes vent from somewhere deep within. Contains skeleton holding MAUL OF PIERCING, which in addition to other powers gets +2 against ANTI-LEVIATHAN. 50% chance that ANTI-LEVIATHAN is out. Secret way out of dungeon, big enough for monster to fit through.
Room .
SALT SATYR games room. Mildewed cardboard boxes, rotting tomes with amusing titles like Ye Olde Playeres Handbooke. Spotty SALT SATYRS hunched over reasonably flat rock playing Humans and Hamlets with dice made of bone and precious stones. One of the dice is actually lucky.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls made of petrified wood, as if you're in the bole of a huge ancient tree.
CANNIBAL PANTHER den. Where they keep their babies. Parents not pleased to see you.
Room .
Space-distorting statue in exactly-square corner of corridor. Shaking right hand will increase number of corners until corridor is mile-long side of polygon. Shaking left hand will decrease it again.
Room .
SMELL: Humans being cooked. Indistinguishable from roast pork except to trained noses.
Bunch of SALT SATYRs quivering in fear as you approach. ANTI-LEVIATHAN followed you in, is directly behind you.
Room .
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
Waterfall that trickles in through crack in wall, disappears in swirling vortex into crack in earth. Tricky climb, must be made to pass room. CANNIBAL PANTHER den hidden in cave behind waterfall, half-digested SPHERE OF THE DRAGON in stomach of sleeping CANNIBAL PANTHER.
Room .
Lightless oubliette. PANDOMPA the PEDANTIC PLAYWRIGHT has been trapped in here for at least twenty years, some SALT SATYRs coming by to feed and water them occasionally.
Room .
SOUND: Hiss of steam escaping through cracks in floor.
SIGHT: Walls made of petrified wood, as if you're in the bole of a huge ancient tree.
Space is bent in such a way that walking down this tunnel will bring you out in room .
Room .
Staircase wraps around inner wall of well. One exit high up, one at water level. Water pitch black. ANTI-LEVIATHAN that lives in well usually not hungry, can be roused to surface by ringing bell at very top of shaft.
Room .
Map room. Globes, nautical charts, atlases, blueprints, guidebooks. DIRE HAG studying X-marked plan of faraway island, so enthralled that it has difficulty noticing PCs. Exquisite rug on room's floor seems like abstract pattern, careful study reveals it to be map of dungeon itself.
Room .
SMELL: Salty as sea-air.
Bedchamber of three, four SALT SATYRs. Sodden and filthy. Careful inspection of damp rags that serve as bedding will reveal a(n) DIAMOND TOTEM in surprisingly good condition, but forces save against filth fever.
Room .
Hideout for rebellious SALT SATYRs, unwilling to recognize authority of DIRE HAG, want to establish tiny republic in forgotten dungeon crevice.
Room .
SOUND: Sound like crunching glass or gnawing teeth. Comes from within walls.
SIGHT: Room is part of ancient castle, walls are slabs of stone.
Foucault pendulum tracing path in sand of dungeon floor. Messing with it affects gravity slightly throughout entire dungeon.
Room .
SALT SATYR barracks-room, mostly empty. One fat SALT SATYR slobberingly asleep in corner. Has SAILOR'S CIGAR on string around neck.
Room .
Spiral staircase. Young SALT SATYRs sliding down bannisters. Will run away if they spot you, bring back angry parents.
Room .
Shrine to dungeon god. Altar will curse you if you touch it unless you prepare the proper sacrifices, which consist of one ritually smothered CANNIBAL PANTHER. If you do it will bless you. One SALT SATYR elsewhere in dungeon is priest, knows secret to this.
Room .
SOUND: Toads croaking.
Enormous mirror is scrying-portal to alternate realms. DIRE HAG getting stern lecture from overboss in Plane of Chaos/other, better dungeon/Hell, will shortly emerge in extremely foul mood. If there is a mirror anywhere else in the dungeon this mirror will let you look out of it.
Room .
Corridor from abandoned prison. Walls lined w/ jail cells, most of the bars rotted away or overgrown w/ HUNCHBACK PLUM. CANNIBAL PANTHERs nesting in cell halfway along, loose brick behind cell wall conceals +1 DICE that only works a third of the time, is haunted by ghost of IMPULIA the OILY POET who will tell you how to fix it if you get vengeance on their jailer.
Room .
SMELL: Meaty reek of underworld flowers, like frying fat and potpourri.
SIGHT: There is a mirror in this room. It's not magical or special, it's an ordinary mirror.
DIRE HAG bedchamber. Four-poster bed, priceless paintings kidnapped from world are hung on walls and artistically befouled. Fairy kept in cage as singing nightlight begs release, claims to be able to grant wishes, can't. Golden key to cage discarded in room V, DIRE HAG concluded they will never need it. Cage highly portable, otherwise unbreakable.
Room .
One of those Ripley's Believe It Or Not rooms where there's a row of mirrors along one wall and once you go around the corridor you can see through them. Couple of SALT SATYRs behind mirrors making fun of PCs, will flee as they approach. If the PCs linger, DAENFOPP the KIND CLOWN will come through on the other side of the mirrors and accidentally reveal something they would kill to keep secret.
Room .
SOUND: Sound like crunching glass or gnawing teeth. Comes from within walls.
Looks like three-way intersection. One exit actually trap, leads to immediate dead end and floor collapse. Then SALT SATYRs come in and start poking you w/ sticks.
Room .
Hall of statues that look exactly like ANTI-LEVIATHAN. One of them is hollow and filled with HISSING LARVAE.
Room .
IMPRAX the RHYMING HUNTER, suffering catastrophic memory failure, no longer sure which way they came in. Single glowing blue mushroom in centre of room does nothing if touched. Memories leeched by prolonged exposure to its light. Eating it gives you all the memories it's absorbed.
Room .
SMELL: Salty as sea-air.
Looks like empty room. Actually maw of cave leviathan, those weird stalagmites its teeth. Glimmer of treasure deep in gullet is pyrite lure. CANNIBAL PANTHERs pick dead flesh from between teeth.
Room .
SIGHT: There is a mirror in this room. It's not magical or special, it's an ordinary mirror.
SOUND: Muffled voices from next room.
GARWIND the STARVING RAGPICKER and DAENOO the DEVOUT PIRATE fighting for possession of a BOTTLE OF WINTER, each with an extremely good argument for why it is rightfully theirs. Actually they stole it from the hoard of a DIRE HAG, who had it as a birthday present from their underworld pen pal and to whom it is of great sentimental value.
Room .
SMELL: Rotten-egg brimstone.
Clay nest of HISSING LARVAE in corner. Single SALT SATYR tasked w/ exterminating it, no idea where to begin, will lead you to hiding place of OCARINA OF THE EVENING in room { if you can give it a hand. Surprisingly reliable and honest.
Room .
Bunch of SALT SATYRs who were just pointlessly fucking sitting there waiting for something to walk in so they could attack it.
Room .
Observatory. Star charts, half-ground lenses, celestial globes, tables of astronomical data (looks like random numbers) and pulsar emissions. DIRE HAG mesmerized by whatever it sees through single enormous telescope. If you broke the telescope's lens you could climb out of the dungeon through it.
Room .
Cornered, enraged, only semi-wounded ANTI-LEVIATHAN preparing to unleash its ultimate attack on bunch of spear-wielding SALT SATYRs who think they're doing much better than they are. If you wait you can get it before its ultimate attack recharges.
Room .
SOUND: Rumble of tectonic plates shifting, impossibly loud and distant.
Ledge halfway up wall of big cylindrical pit-cavern, no way in, out except via entrances to ledge. ANTI-LEVIATHAN trapped at bottom of pit, bleeding from a number of minor wounds. Extremely long spiked sticks for poking it with. Couple of SALT SATYRs indulging in this pastime.
Room .
Floor of cave is shoulder-high thicket of HUNCHBACK PLUMS. Exits raised. Stones protruding from top of thicket let you jump across. HUNCHBACK PLUMs carnivorous, CANNIBAL PANTHERs in symbiotic relationship w/ them will attack when you are halfway across.
Room .
ANTI-LEVIATHAN w/ SPEAR OF BLOOD stuck in it. Extremely unhappy. Someone in room concealing serious wound, would like SPEAR OF BLOOD back.
Room .
Vertical shaft w/ rope hanging from ceiling, goes two-thirds of way to floor.
Room .
MYRIAN the STINKING PLAYWRIGHT, playing the flute. Has no idea they're in a dungeon. Can see everything around them perfectly clearly, just refuses to believe it's a dungeon. Will confabulate other things it could be. Flute not magical unless you desperately need it to be.
Room .
SMELL: Strangely cold, like being in a meat freezer.
Actual dungeon, exists to hold prisoners. Guarded by pair of SALT SATYRs, one sleepy, one watchful. They are siblings. Couple of human captives in pitiful condition, starving in cells. One is YASHOXIS the SHY CHILD.
Room .
SIGHT: Everything is coated in fine layer of snail slime.
DIRE HAG laboratory. Weird hybrid things bubble away in glass tanks. At least one attempted crossbreed between SALT SATYR and CANNIBAL PANTHER. DIRE HAG not there. QUEEKYX the OILY KNIGHT pretends to be experimental captive, is actually willing lab assistant.
Room .
SIGHT: Walls are murky green glass. You almost feel like you can see through to the next room.
FELOBO the FORGETFUL COOK impressing SALT SATYRs w/ magical powers of EARRING OF THE OWL, attempting to convince them that it is their rightful king. Will turn them on PCs if they do not show FELOBO the FORGETFUL COOK proper signs of obeisance. SALT SATYRs just humouring FELOBO the FORGETFUL COOK, will happily play along.
Room .
Pool of stagnant water with treasure chest at bottom. Treasure chest contains bound, gagged SILKOSSUS the WHISTLING MONK, is temporarily watertight. If released SILKOSSUS the WHISTLING MONK will demand vengeance on SALT SATYR in room , offer reward for assistance in this matter.
Room .
SOUND: Creepy singing, like every nursery rhyme in every horror movie ever.
Formerly a wizard's study. Now a breeding pair of CANNIBAL PANTHERs has made a nest of the spellbooks, which reveal interesting magical snippets if closely examined. Torn-up pages, gummed back together, may have produced odd new spells.
Room .
Couple of SALT SATYRs around shallow pit, gambling on combat between trained HISSING LARVAE. Intruders will be hurled into pit, but if you wait long enough the furious loser will accuse the winner of cheating and a fight will ensure.
Room .
Crossroads, but one exit just loops back around into the other one. Walls of loop contain shelves for entombed corpses w/ gold coins on their eyes and HISSING LARVAE concealed in their flesh.
Room .
Hideout for rebellious SALT SATYRs, unwilling to recognize authority of DIRE HAG, want to establish tiny republic in forgotten dungeon crevice.
Room .
SMELL: Strangely warm, like being in a kiln.
DIRE HAG laboratory. Weird hybrid things bubble away in glass tanks. At least one attempted crossbreed between SALT SATYR and CANNIBAL PANTHER. DIRE HAG not there. WOFASIUS the OILY DUKE pretends to be experimental captive, is actually willing lab assistant.
Room .
SMELL: Old people and medicine.
DIRE HAG bedchamber. Four-poster bed, priceless paintings kidnapped from world are hung on walls and artistically befouled. Fairy kept in cage as singing nightlight begs release, claims to be able to grant wishes, can't. Golden key to cage discarded in room , DIRE HAG concluded they will never need it. Cage highly portable, otherwise unbreakable.
Room .
DIRE HAG dabbling in painting, composing a still life from scene of HISSING LARVAE and bones. Having trouble getting the HISSING LARVAE to stay still. Has left a paint canister (turbulent green) in room , politely promises to kill you unless you go get it right now.
Room .
Map room. Globes, nautical charts, atlases, blueprints, guidebooks. DIRE HAG studying X-marked plan of faraway island, so enthralled that it has difficulty noticing PCs. Exquisite rug on room's floor seems like abstract pattern, careful study reveals it to be map of dungeon itself.
Room .
SOUND: Boom of distant explosions, clatter of drills.
SMELL: Dry and musty, like mummy wrappings and black mold.
Bubbling lake of mildly corrosive alkaline goo must be navigated via stepping stones. HISSING LARVAE hidden in goo, obviously. Harmless until you get any blood in the goo, then will go into feeding frenzy.
Room .
SOUND: Sound like crunching glass or gnawing teeth. Comes from within walls.
SIGHT: Ammonite, trilobite fossils visible in walls.
Couple of sorry-looking SALT SATYRs roasting HISSING LARVAE over fire. In surprisingly good mood, will share. If you get sick and pass out from the feast they will definitely kill you, but otherwise harmless.